Annoyed with mum bringing sibling to playdates

OP doesn’t like it when the other Mum brings her other child to the park either. 😂

OPs house I do get more (but again we don’t know if DH is just shit or has other weekend commitments)!

the mum may be under the impression it was ok as she has previously had the thumbs up from OP so @Isitreallysohard time to stop inviting this mum to your house, to only meet outside the house, or just say you think it would be lovely for your two kids to have some 1:1 time

The bloody cheek. I hope he isn't watching TV.
Definitely do this lady a favour, don't invite her again.

This isn't necessarily the insult you think it is. I am as clueless as the OP, because I don't ever want to understand how hard it is to have more than one. Sort of in the same way that I don't ever want to understand how hard it is to become a pole vaulter. I'd very happily own being considered an obvious parent of an only!

62% is not an echo chamber either? What a pile on!

"OP doesn’t appear to have taken on board anything that others have mentioned"

She's not wrong though.

If you are expecting the mum to stay during the playdate, then you should expect that they bring their other children too.
Either say that you are happy for a drop off and pick up later, or dont invite them, or meet in a park.
You can't expect anything else.

What do you mean “why not?” Why can’t she just leave her 3year old toddler on their own with another parent they don’t know well?? Is that a serious question?

This thread has been a revelation. I had no idea people were so uptight and controlling about play dates for toddlers. When mine were that age people just came over with all their kids and everyone played together. No one was micro-managing friendships or tallying up how many of their kids to how many of mine. It was relaxed and friendly.

In soft plays and the park? I wouldn’t be asking other people’s permission to take my children to public places, no.

Do her a favour and stop inviting them. She doesn’t need people like you in her life.

Sometimes it is not about your annoyance but your DC fun and development.
They're not always going to be the centre of the world.
I have had children playing here over the years.

Maybe he has other things to be getting on with.

I was about to post the same. Tell me you have one child without telling me you have one child

Why don't they have options?

She’s not hosting! It’s the bloody park!

Why not? This used to really annoy me, hosting 2 children for my one.

You’re absolutely correct of course but I really don’t see the point of posting a thread asking for opinions when all anyone seems to want is an echo chamber. OP doesn’t appear to have taken on board anything that others have mentioned and it seems those that have commented within the 62% have more than one kid or at least experience of 7 year olds.

I agree that she should of course ask.

I would always give a head's up. If asked for a playdate with my toddler, I would say "why don't you come to us as my older one will be around too?" I would probably refuse an invite for the younger one in someone else's home and say "sorry, I'll have my older one then as well". They'd then be able to say "ok then" or "happy for you to bring both", whichever suited best.

I think it's a stage of life thing. My experience is that parents of my DC1's friends are much happier to have the little one around to play, even if their own children are older. Often a train track or box of toys will have been got out for DC2. Whereas parents of younger children only are often a bit on edge around older kids and expect more maturity from them than is necessarily going to happen.

For example, when DC2 was a baby and we had some of DC1's friends round, the whole lot of them were happy sat on the floor playing with all the baby toys, ignoring all the "big kid" stuff. Children don't grow up as quickly as some people think.

I actually do understand this from the other perspective - I have a DD6, when I invite her friend (also dd6) over the mum brings her ds3. He disrupts the girls and my house!!

I wouldn’t mind if I was warned or even could go to their house as he will have his toys etc but it is frustrating !

Well I don’t have 4 children, and neither does the parent in OP by the sounds of it. And at that age I would bring them both, yeah.

the popularity or prevalence of an opinion doesn't automatically make it correct 😉

OP, I was actually backing you up. I think it's ridiculous that people are labelling you PFB for not enjoying the seven year old coming along.
I don't personally understand how difficult it is to balance what a 3 year old Vs 7 year old wants to do, and I don't ever WANT to understand, which is why I am sticking at one.

So your DC has a nice time playing with a slightly older kid and you see that as a bit pointless. If I was their mother I might try and fix the situation for my own child if I could as it sounds like they are getting left out - but your child is not so why are you upset. In general, any play date for kids I would personally assume was a play date for all kids that were too young to look after themselves - though I might check / bring an activity for the older kid to keep them busy.

Ok fine. But maybe the mother wants to spend time with both her kids, I would. Any time outside of school / work is sacred to me. If the kid was 10+ I’d get it.

so if, perchance, you had 4 children, you would always take them all to every playdate each of them is invited to, unless the host asked for a 1:1?

Just because other mums can manage to find someone to look after siblings means nothing OP. We are not all the same.

Hopefully you’ve taken on board the comments by those that think YABU as it’s the majority on here ie 62%