To ask how to motivate a kid who is intimidated by competitive sports to want to exercise?

I was this child. I disliked team sports, with a passion and still do. Schools are generally geared around team sports, and this doesn't appear to have changed. I lacked coordination, which didn't help and was always picked last. I couldn't give two hoots if I came first or last in anything, I simply wasn't interested. You can't make a child like sport and you can't make a child interested in team or competitive sports. Your daughter isn't interested, end of, and it's wasted energy trying to make her. Honestly, step back completely - you may not mean to pressurise your daughter, but you are. She enjoys walking, this is free and excellent for keeping her healthy. Help her channel that interest, suggest a forest, lake or beach walk, perhaps incorporate some blackberry picking into it. As she becomes older, she will find her way...she may prefer the gym, pilates, yoga etc. The more you push, the more she'll dig her heels in. As long as she's a healthy weight, eats healthy, and is happy, that's what counts.

Gym. Fitness. I hated sports. I LOVE weight training. And no. I don’t look chunky.

An alternative suggestion.....
Me and my daughter (both zero interest in sport) like playing the physical games on an old Nintendo Wii.
Some are quite exhausting!

I know you said not competitive but so you have a local rugby club with a girls' section.

Girls rugby is incredibly inclusive and encouraging. There is a lot of focus on friendship and team work. Might not suit all girls but definitely has a reputation for being a great place for girls who perhaps haven't previously enjoyed sport and having a place for all shapes and sizes. Over the age of 11 all rugby is single sex for training and matches.

Many clubs do fun summer training when just a pair of trainers is fine. and usually let you have a free trial session so no big outlay

Cycling.

There's so many different types and entries.

There's your typical bmx which is serious skills.

Road bikes which go fast and are very addictive.

Mountain bikes which teens seems to love.

And track which is all about speed indoors. Very addictive. Very adrenaline fuelled.

I love cycling. I wasn't sporty at all in school because I have body dysmorphia, hated team sports and everything my school offered was team sports or running which again, I hated.

In my mid 20s discovered bikes again. Wish I had done it sooner.

The brilliant thing about bikes is you can use them for everyday so it doesn't feel like exercise, you can be as social or as antisocial as you want, and it is so incredibly easy for the whole family to get involved.

Ugh. I would have regarded the expectation to join in with paddleboarding or running, as harassment.

I would however have made use of membership at a really posh spa-type swimming pool.

Yoga
Dance Classes
Roller skating / skateboarding
Taking peoples dogs out for walks for her pocket money

Just don’t call it exercise

Ditto going for nice walks at the weekend.

My lovely, small gym has teen gym classes where they do strength and conditioning classes in small groups. My son does this and sounds like your daughter. It's full of non-sporty kids, often those who are Nd, who can all proceed at their own pace in a calm and supportive atmosphere.

The Junior BS circuit is certainly not all friendly or supportive 😬 but agree that horse riding for fun definitely can be great and friendly

What about horse riding? It's not typically sporty but is definitely hard-core exercise and generally a supportive environment. I do it despite hating any and all exercise. It doesn't feel like exercise. Even at a competition barn, we're not competitive with each other, everyone is supportive and friendly

She can just go to the gym?

Or horse riding?

Well said, @SuburbanSprawl !

School PE sessions generally favour team sports (and public changing rooms, which does wonders for the body-confidence of teenagers... not!). In my schools, being a girl meant that I was to play netball, hockey and rounders. Netball was tedious, hockey was too gentle, and though I could whack a ball in rounders, I never did achieve my lifetime ambition of hitting my most-hated PE teacher in the face...

On top of that, daily sporting extracurricular activities was enough to put me off sport (I was arty and musical, but this wasn't good enough) and people (I was bullied, anxious and generally antisocial). As soon as I got to 16, I quit everything and avoided exercising on purpose (with the exception of occasional "fun" trips like ice-skating or horse riding)... much to the horror of certain fitness fanatic relatives. They were very pushy about me doing sport. The more you push me, the more I tend to resist. Thus, don't push her and don't make her overdo it, OP! Also, is she more into art, music or something else, rather than- or in addition to- sport?

Once weekly evening swims (when it was quiet, i.e. about six adults in the pool) was my re-entry to the sporting world as an adult. It was much more relaxing than being bellowed at by swimming teachers, or being told to race up and down the pool for X amount of lengths.

Paddle boarding doesn’t feel like exercise even though it is, once you’ve got the hang of it you can make it as easy or as hard as you like. A gentle glide along a canal doesn’t need much effort but then at the other extreme you can go all out. It’s a lovely family hobby and can naturally lead into other sports like kayaking, lots of PBs near us do yoga as it helps with board balance. AquaPaddle is the equivalent to Parkrun, non-competitive social events.

I went from liking exercise to hating it and back again

things I like
paddleboarding
outdoor wild swimming - involves a decent walk there, mix of ages, people being dogs etc, some don’t swim and just come for the coffee and walk
peloton app - it has outdoor walks and runs on but I also do the weights and spin classes
spin classes - I just love them
aerial hoop is a lot of fun
climbing indoors

I wouldn’t worry about it. I know plenty of women who were the same at 14 but changed in their 20s or 30s, sometimes even later. Also, don’t overlook the fact that most teenagers walk a fair distance every day, often with heavy bags, up and down stairs all day at school etc.

My theory is that this country would be a lot fitter if schools cared much less about who won at sports. Being a loser every Wednesday - and having it made very clear to you that losing is the most terrible failure - obviously discourages people from ever doing it when they're adults.

If PE teachers said, "Well done the blue team for winning, though to be honest it really doesn't matter a fuck who wins. It's just school sports and none of you is going to make a career of it - I just hope you had fun', then people would be much more inclined to carry on doing it into adult life.

Also, can she walk to school?

I think you've got to sneak exercise in. Set her cleaning and gardening tasks also dog walking if you have one. A Saturday job in a shop or cafe, she'll walk miles doing that, and earn a bit of money. Also fun things she might like with her frends like roller discos or trampoline park.

I'd just encourage and facilitate anything she expressed an interest in. So if she likes walking, brilliant, I'd offer to get her some nice new trainers, some matching headphones (only for if she doesn't walk alone, unfortunately), a comfy cute outfit, water bottle... whatever her style is.

If she doesn't go for walks when it gets cold or dark, I'd get her a walking pad (mine goes up to 6km/h). Obviously no problem if you can't afford these things.

If she wants to do yoga, pilates, swimming... I would get her whatever gear she needed and drive her if possible. That would have been massively helpful when I was young.

14 might be too young for the gym but lots of women who were like her (and me) and hated PE growing up end up really liking weightlifting.

I wouldn't push anything though, I'd just make sure she knew I'd help with anything she wanted to do.

Have you checked out your local sports clubs? DS doesn't really like exercise (he goes to swimming...because I make him and he's actually quite good). He's never been into football, which is mostly what all the boys around here are doing. However, our local gymnastics club are offering a special class just for boys who aren't really into sports. It's non-competitive and not just gymnastics-related. They are on the sports field in the summer and do a bit of athletics, some games, etc. In winter, they are in the sports hall and do gymnastics stuff with equipment, trying out new things but no competition or anything like that. It's mixed ages.

Alternatively, would she be interested in volunteering with any sports and helping with the younger kids? That might be a way in for her. Or what about sports that can be done as non-competitive sports? Sailing? Scuba diving?