BF's friends 'warning' him about me

This happened in my friendship group, but the other way round, as it was a woman warning another woman that her new boyfriend (I don't know him/know if he'd been through trauma) had slept with her when they were in sixth form and ghosted her afterwards.
If the person was genuinely hurt, and is also truly trying to look out for their friend, I don't think it makes them bad people. Some people are happy to have casual sex, others aren't-I wouldn't judge anyone, and for me I was never particularly bothered about serious relationships when I was that young, but some people (male or female) really do get upset, and some don't have any emotional support when things happen, so it can have a big impact.
Everyone's different, whether it's being ghosted, cheated on, or people saying things about you-we all react differently, and there's things many of us did or said when we were younger that we wouldn't any more. On thing that has changed is there's more support and counselling for trauma now.

Well woman warn other woman about men or try to so if a man acted like you did would this raise red flags for women or would it be perfectly normal behaviour?

Why are woman allowed to judge men but not the other way around?

I wouldn't judge because you can sleep with whoever you like and if it happened at a time when I didn't know this person existed, then you can't really complain.

However, if I found out that my boyfriend had sex with two of my friends a few years ago before we knew each other, i'm not sure I'd be comfortable with that

I would feel extremely weird knowing that two of my female friends had also known my boyfriend that way. I don't know I wouldn't like it. But the boy friends friends are absolute pillocks, though. They should have said nothing about it. There's nothing to warn him about

What is the 'something to know' that OP's new boyfriend needed warning about?

He really shouldn't have told you, how else could it possibly make you feel. That's not 'kind' and I'd be wondering about him.

His 'friend' is jealous, and probably just wanted a pathetic excuse to boast about someone he slept with as a teen. How do you know the friend said this? Why would your bloke listen to him or feel the need to repeat it to you?

Btw there's nothing unsavoury about promiscuity so you don't need to excuse yourself or say you don't condone it. There's nothing wrong with consensual sex.

If your fella thinks you're some kind of tainted harlot because of a single drunk teenage fumble, he doesn't deserve a partner.

You dont need to excuse anything. Even if youd had a great childhood,women are allowed to like casual sex as much as men. And as long as everyone's is safe and consenting theres nothing wrong with it.

I wouldnt worry too much. I dont think its terrible for DPs friend to say btw she used to only be in casual relationships and I dont want to see you get hurt. As long as he now let's it go once DP has confirmed he knows all he needs to.

DP sounds keen and reasonable. Hope it goes well

The friend is awful and shouldn't have said anything.
You don't have to apologise for being promiscuous, consenting, single adults can do whatever they like.
I personally think I would struggle to be in a relationship with someone who's friends I had slept with and visa versa. If your BF is telling you what his friend said could he actually be bothered by it? If he is I'd be careful with him, that could be something that leads to some jealousy or is thrown in your face during an argument.

I guess the friend is either an old fashioned misogynist or is it possible in his teens he felt more for you than you were aware of and your ons triggered some sort of teen heartbreak for him? Either way he is coming across as incredibly immature to not realise that you've all moved on from your teenage selves.

His friends sound lovely. 🙄

Great isn’t it? And I bet the men who were having sex not only with you but with you and half the village too were just being lads eh? It’s just the woman who gets the reputation though.

The weird thing is that this bloke was the other party to the shag. So he can’t exactly take the moral high ground!

Your BF really shouldn't have bought it up - do you know why he didn't keep quiet? You really have nothing to be ashamed of.

His friends need to grow up now. They are not switched on or mature enough to understand that people don't remain forever 18. They live in the past. Very small, very silly.
Don't feel ashamed, just laugh instead.

Do think it's odd that your boyfriend told you this though. "My mates think you're a slag."
He needs to grow up too.

Why are you feeling embarrassment and humiliated? Were you unkind or callous towards this friend of your BF? Your embarrassment and humiliation is feeding this weirdness. Fake giving zero F’s until you can make it.

How long have you been seeing him? I don’t think I’d be picking a partner who is mates with ons blokes from my younger years when there’s plenty of other men to choose from where there’s no baggage or drama. It’s all a bit incestuous for want of a better word.

Your BF shouldn’t have told you.

Yes, the fact he told you, rather than just telling his 'friend' to shut up and mind his own business is a bit of a warning sign to me...

Even if it was the best part of 20 years ago, before you and your partner had even met?

Last time this guy knew you, you were an unhappy person. Worth a warning perhaps, but you and your other half are quite sensibly dismissing it as totally out of date.

If his warning was that you are a slapper, that’s totally hypocritical and very outdated and judgemental. Reflects badly on him.

So this friend... were you the only person he slept with in that year? If not, how come he's squeaky clean and says you're not? What was your partner up to in those teenage years? I would tell my partner to tell his friend to grow up.

What was the “warning”? @PollyBell

That someone had slept with a couple of the boyfriends friends when they were in their teens, almost 2 decades ago?

Woman are told to warn others about men if they know something about them, so no I see no issue

Dont think you have anything to worry about. If a guy you were seeing had been sleeping around when younger and a friend mentioned it to you then I'm sure you would think - well ok that was when he was younger not an issue now.

This isn't about you or your bf, it's about his friend. He probably felt hurt and jilted and might even be jealous of your bf. Crack on.