Where do you put dc’s uni stuff

Your house has to be box free for your mental health.

simple choices

(1) it goes in her room

(2) it goes into storage - at her cost not yours (ie she will need a summer job to fund this)

(3) she finds somewhere else to stay taking her stuff with her.

she is home for the holidays and doesn’t get to dictate how the whole house lives around her stuff.

put your foot down and stop this utter nonsense.

her junk - her problem - not yours.

Mine is home from uni and has been (slowly) sorting herself out. Anything that can't be put away in her room is going in boxes in the garage. None of her stuff is spread around the house.

If her room needs to be clear for her mental health, then she should be cleaning it, not refusing to empty her bags! She's presumably an adult now - she needs to be taking responsibility for her stuff.

Blimey I had to say to dd the stuff either found a home or it went to the tip.
Excess bedding you either store for a spare if you don’t have any or it’s disposed of.
excess kitchen stuff the same.
Her tv she gave to her housemates who were staying on to do their masters otherwise we would have taken it to the tip again, we don’t need any more TVs at home.
She came home on the Thursday and by the Sunday everything was back to normal.
The house belongs to all of us and none of us deserve to live with a load of shit piled up on the stairs and all over the place. Not for me anyway!

You aren’t helping her by allowing this. Give her a deadline to sort out her room and fit EVERYTHING she wants to keep in it, anything in the rest of the house is taken to the tip .

My DD had loads of kitchen equipment because she did a lots of cooking, not £1 pizza from Iceland and the like.

We rented storage for £6 a week. Money well spent!

This is my job for today. My conservatory floor is covered in DC’s crap from Uni which has annoyed me for weeks. He had to clear out his room first of all of his younger stuff, which he has done. Even after putting 4 bags in the attic and a tip run (all of which he did) I still have half the floor covered with ikea bags and boxes. There’s no room in his bedroom so he’s going to have to find a way to get it in the attic or in the garage at his dad’s so I can have my house back.
So when I say it’s my job, it not but I need to make sure it happens. I’m making his favourite Sunday dinner for when he’s done.
OP I feel your pain, but direct, don’t do it yourself. If they’re at uni they’re adults and they can/should do this themselves.

After halls I always negotiated summer storage of my stuff in my next house when I was at Uni. Is that not a thing any more?

It does sound like she is burying her head in the sand a but and might need a bit of tough love and support to sort through some of the old stuff in her room to make it function better. My kids are younger but we're currently in that transition from childhood to teenager and dd is especially reluctant to part with loads of old tat she has kept and is important to her....I expect your dd is going through a similar transition into adult hood. At that age I compiled a memory box which I stil have containing letters, cards, significant bits of jewellery, mix tapes, photos and some clothing. It's all nonsense now but I still keep it in the loft. Maybe suggest creating something like that with dd as a way into the sorting out?

Also could things like pots and pans go in some sort of garden / shed storage?

It was always a nightmare, with each DC whilst they were in halls- every available space in cupboards, wardrobes, drawers, attic, garage...you name it, we filled it.

Might be worth encouraging a 12 month rental rather than term time, so next summer it doesn't come home at all..

Do a Stacey Solomon on her room with her.

It hasnt been an issue as they are at uni miles away so only back at end of terms. That said we do have spare bedding for guests so they could use that but if you don't that would be a. Issue!

Do that then. Say ‘If you haven’t sorted some space for your extra stuff by Wednesday I’m going to do it. First thing I will chuck are those dead plants. I’m going to be ruthless so if you want to keep anything, go through it now.

What happens when they come home for the weekend? Sleeping bags?

And the rest of the family's mental health as they trip over this stuff?

All my son's things were in storage previous years, but now he's finished and I currently have it in the "dining room" aka dumping room. At least it's out of the way. But I think boys accumulate less stuff than girls do, plus I encouraged him to donate any non essentials

Mine has more than "a small box of kitchen utensils" it is worth remmebering that people live differently. All 4 of mine has requested kitchen stuff for christmas and birthdays during uni years. Items went in the shed or their rooms. I only allowed uni duvet (we always bought extra I prefer to have one at home for them) to be stored under our bed.

Ds and dd3 both managed to store their stuff over somer holiday at uni with friends who had longer tenancies storing items for multiple friends. Ds friends who did this had their lease until early september and basically all friends had an area with their boxes and stuff. They all agreed to pay their end of tenancy clean for them it came to £50 for 2-3months storage. The landlord was ok with this (they asked)

Dd3 currently has her uni stuff in a friends place she is going back to uni next week to move it to her new place she takes posession off mid July. Friend hasnt charged her for this at all.

Dd2 we used a storage unit over her 2nd summer. (1st was in covid lockdown and basicslly all go hurled into the car and sorted in our then garage) we need to find most of her stuff again for September as she is returning to read for a masters.

Dd1 took home in sensible plastic containers.

When my parents decided to clear out their “big shed” (a massive steel structure bigger than many 1 bedroom houses) They were going through boxes and found a box still unpacked from when they moved in 1980. They have moved house 6 times since then. Mum still went through it and decided there was stuff in there she wanted to keep. 🤦🏻‍♀️

OP, be the parent, tell her she has a week or it’s all going to the tip, make a plan with her to go through it and Marie Kondo the shit out of it.

Her stuff has to be tidied away somewhere for YOUR mental health!

Though having said that, ‘mental health’ is used as a convenient excuse for so many things now. A couple of decades ago I dare say my dds would have used it as an excuse for why their bedrooms were like pigsties, stuff all over the floordrobe, plus adorned with old apple cores, cold half cups of tea, and bowls with old Ready Brek dried on like cement.

My Dd has taken all her clothes up to her room and some of her books and her tech stuff, as it's all in use.
All the bedding and towels inc the duvet were washed dried and went into a big duffle bag and went into the attic, I can just throw that into the car in September as it's ready to go. There's a box of kitchen stuff in the corner in the front room, and a box of bits and pieces there too. Her TV went onto the wall in her room. Listing it doesn't seem like much, but when I pack up my car it seems like a lot more.

In the loft!

Lost the quote!!

Mean to say that kitchen cleaning stuff was used up by us, as was any food. Duvet and pillows vacuum shrunk and under the bed.

DS's stuff is all piled up in his room!

Yes, this. Plus boxed up kitchen stuff and put that in the loft.

Nothing was in any other room but his.

We have 2 DSs who graduated in the last 2 years and both lived at home for a year or so.

I found these beds were the perfect solution. Their entire university lives fit underneath, in storage boxes.

Under the stars, in the attic, back porch and at his dads- that's where we're storing it!