To feel ‘less’ of a mother when you have one child

And regardless of how many children we have, we can collectively look back to a time when we had no children and thought we were tired 😂😂😂

I don't think you're any less of a mother because you have one child.

I have 5 children and if I'm honest, I do think that having one is easier. But having 5 was totally my choice and I wouldn't change it and I love having a big family. If you're happy with your choice, I wouldn't worry what anyone else thinks about it. I know that some people think I'm bonkers for having 5 and I'm ok with that!

I love having 3. Not hard at all

No. I have one very easy, straightforward child. She’s my world.
i do not feel less of a parent. I feel fortunate.
What a weird post @HelloSunshine100 parenting isn’t meant to be an endurance test or some sort of martyrdom.

You are a mother whether you have one child or 10.

However...

Personally, I found that navigating the dymamics between my DC and balancing their very different needs was a significant element of my overall parenting effort. I do think that the experience of parenting one child is different to having two or more. Not better or worse, but definitely different. They both have their benefits and challenges.

I have one, my friend has 4, soon to be 5. I don’t feel like less of a mum.

I’m just as frazzled and tired as she is 😂 my one is incredibly demanding and Wiley and has just found out she can get onto the sofa herself. I’m constantly on alert or running around after her, have a full time job, plus 2 side hustles that I work over the 7 day week, doing unsociable hours so that I can be there to run around after my one in the afternoons. If I had two I might get to sit down for a few minutes as they could play together maybe 🤣👀.

The only difference is the lifelong balancing act required when you have more than one. Otherwise, people manage parenthood differently: you can feel totally stressed out and drained by one chilled out and easy baby/toddler/child, or you can take 5 kids totally in your stride and always have perfect hair. A lot of it is what you make of it. But the managing competing demands thing is real.

I have four kids all under 6. I know. Insane.

The way I see it is much the same as others have said. Generally, more than one child IS harder work. Not always but usually.

However, it also depends on the individual child/children. Mine for example are all extremely strong willed, high energy, stubborn, defiant, messy, loud etc. I know many other kids are like this. But, I also see their friends and children of my friends who aren't like this and seem to be "easier" children. I'm utterly exhausted and stressed most days. Quite often, I find other parents of 1 or 2 children struggle to relate to certain aspects of my day or how my children have been acting etc.

Also, things tend to seem much easier when 1 or 2 children are removed from the equation (in school/childcare or at grandparents etc) but it depends which ones 😂

But at the end of the day you aren't any less of a parent and trust me, you aren't missing out. If it makes you feel any better, I've noticed this summer more than ever how I'm slightly envious of all the social media posts I see from all the mums I know with one child having nice days out and trips and lovely calm activities with them. Going out with multiple young children is a mission and tbh rarely that enjoyable.

The grass is always greener 😂

I had 2 and that was more than enough, I see any parent no matter how many DC as equal. I do pity those with lots of DC and wonder why you would put yourself through that

My mother always said, one's hard work, five look after themselves (I'm #4).

When I only have one with me now it feels like a breeze but when I only had one, it never felt easy.

Never consider mums less than for having an only child but objectively of course it’s easier generally. Not easy, just easier.

I have two and mums of three make me feel less of a mum.

But I guess maybe they feel that way about mums of four?

Not really. We were all first time mums whinging together. Having multiple kids doesn't eradicate that.

That said, doing it twice sounds like twice the physical work e.g. wake ups, nappies etc plus less energy and having to juggling it all.at the same time, so it probably is harder.

I stopped at one because I found it hard and knew I'd be a worse mum to two. Others probably don't feel that way. Some adjust better than I did. That's OK too. Ots doesn't make either of us "less than". It's not a competition. All feelings about motherhood are valid.

Exactly this!

I only have one by choice, not because I found it hard!

No. I have one and am a Mother regardless. It’s not a competition to see how many kids you can pop out.

I have one and have never felt like this. I would have liked another, unfortunately my second pregnancy didn’t work out and it ultimately didn’t happen for us. That makes me sad but I don’t feel any less of a mother for it.

I have three under five. I don’t find it particularly hard, otherwise I probably wouldn’t have had more than one. But I really wouldn’t judge you about your decision to have one, or expect you to pitch in and give me a hand! We all make our own choices - try not to care too much about what anyone else thinks!

I'm a mum of one. Dc is a very easy child. DP very involved. Both sets of grandparents on hand. I have it a lot easier than many.
Don't feel less of a mother.

You're 100% not less than 'just' because you have one child.
Parenting is tough and can be really tiring. You can be just as stretched with an only child!
I have twins and have always felt that I am pretty lucky, as they can often take the pressure off me needing to constantly entertain them, as they play happily together!
We just adapt as parents, dependent upon the amount of children we have.

One is infinitely easier. Whenever only one of my kids is home it is such a calm and quiet and easy time.

But saying that therefore, one child makes one less of a mum is really saying that motherhood must be hard to be motherhood. And the harder, the better/more real.

Which is a rather depressing way to think about motherhood!

So no, I don't think mums of onelies are "less" mothers.

I have three and at times (like the hours a day that they play together) it's much easier than one! I occasionally feel bad for my sister who has to entertain a little one constantly, I feel like I couldn't do that! Once a parent, always a parent, doesn't matter if you have 1 or 6 that doesn't change that.

I must say I do think carting them all about to different places is bloody hard work and at those times it would be easier to have one to focus on.

I think it depends on the child, I found going from 1-2 SO much more tiring, but I think thats because DC2 is a handful. If i just had DC1 I would find it easy, if I just had DC2 it would be as tiring as having both of them!

You're not less of a mother for having 1 OP 🙂

Honestly, I always find it quite odd so many people have more than one.

Anyway, if you have a child, you’re a parent. You can’t be ‘slightly’ a parent. Nor are you more of a parent because you have four children.

This. I think anyone who has 3 kids is insane (and in the cases I know the third has been an accident!)