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AIBU?

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Over familiar shop assistant

393 replies

StinkyCheeseMoose · 05/07/2025 19:43

I had a bad attack of internal rage today.

Apart from a bit of snippiness - which the subject of my rage quite possibly didn't notice - I managed to keep it to myself.

I work in an office close to the high street of a small town. Every lunchtime I walk into town to buy my lunch and take it back to the office.

On my way back, I go into the newsagent to buy a newspaper and a flake.

The shop assistant is murderous-thought inducingly annoying. She is the kind of person who speaks to her elderly customers in a higher than usual sing-sing voice and seems to think that a bit of patronising chit-chat should be part of the service.

My annoyance started to accelerate a few weeks ago. I had bought a sausage roll from Greggs before I went into the newsagent.

"Oooo! That smells nice, what are we having for lunch today?" She asked.

I decided to ignore her question and paid for my paper and flake.

A few days ago, the weather was colder than had been forecast (unfortunately, the heatwave everyone else seems to be getting has passed us by). It was cold and windy and I wasn't wearing a jacket or cardigan.

"Oooo! Aren't you cold dressed like that?" She asked.

I ignored her question and paid for my paper and flake.

Yesterday, I put my paper and flake on the counter and waited to pay. As she picked up my flake, she said:

"Oooo! You really love these, don't you? You'll look like one soon if you aren't careful"

Am I unreasonable to expect a shop assistant to respect my privacy, not to quiz me on what I am having for lunch, comment on what I am wearing or what I am buying?

I don't mind a quick "It's a lovely day today" type of interaction, but all I actually want from her is quick and efficient service.

OP posts:
ConnieHeart · 05/07/2025 21:38

I do know what you mean OP. If a sales person rings up and says "good morning Connie, how are you today?" I just want them to get to the point so I just give a quick "ok". I don't really want to partake in mindless chit chat

RominaDina · 05/07/2025 21:37

Ilikemymenlikeilikemycoffee · 05/07/2025 21:33

Sounds like she’s just being nice! Sorry but I’d think the same about someone buying a flake everyday! Also, why don’t you just go somewhere else if it bothers you? Surely a family pack of flakes from the supermarket are cheaper!

Yeah, I think there's some sort of perverted pleasure in this ritual of negativity and rejection of social discourse, so she intends to keep this going, I would guess.

cocoonscriticupgrading · 05/07/2025 21:37

UsingAMansNameInAWomensWorld · 05/07/2025 21:36

Must make ordering food hard

😂

katseyes7 · 05/07/2025 21:37

Cherrysherbet
I agree with you 100%.
I had one (apparently) nice older couple at my till. The wife was lovely, very friendly and chatty. Him, not so much, but no red flags.
The lady was chatting away to me, commented on my accent (I don't have a local accent), she asked where l was originally from, how long l'd lived down here, and did l do the same job back home. All very pleasant.
When l said l'd been in the police for nearly 30 years before l moved to Yorkshire, her husband stopped packing the shopping, eyeballed me, and remarked "And now you're REDUCED to THIS...."
I didn't even dignify it with a response. His poor wife looked mortified.
I'd love to have been a fly on the wall when they got outside.
No doubt he'd have been apoplectic if l'd decided to just claim benefits instead of bothering to get a job for the short while before l retired.
That's the opinion some of them have. That working in a shop is demeaning.
Quite honestly some customers were nastier and more obnoxious than most l encountered in my previous job.

wizzywig · 05/07/2025 21:37

Just buy a multipack of flakes and the newspaper app. Sorted

UsingAMansNameInAWomensWorld · 05/07/2025 21:36

Drowninginconfusion · 05/07/2025 21:25

I wouldn’t want to tell a stranger what I was having for lunch 🙈

Must make ordering food hard

Cathmawr · 05/07/2025 21:36

This is funny. Don't move up North. I think you should stick to self service checkouts and let's hope the 'thankyou' message on the screen at the end isn't too intrusively cheery

tempacct · 05/07/2025 21:34

Drowninginconfusion · 05/07/2025 20:51

It’s not rude to not want to answer a personal question from a stranger!

You class asking what you’re having for lunch as a personal question?

godmum56 · 05/07/2025 21:33

I don't mind a bit of mundane chat...I will mundane chat back. I DO mind "what are WE having for lunch"

Ilikemymenlikeilikemycoffee · 05/07/2025 21:33

Sounds like she’s just being nice! Sorry but I’d think the same about someone buying a flake everyday! Also, why don’t you just go somewhere else if it bothers you? Surely a family pack of flakes from the supermarket are cheaper!

CallMeBettyBoop · 05/07/2025 21:32

Are you practising your creative writing, OP?

aWeeCornishPastie · 05/07/2025 21:32

Is she being friendly though or being a pain in the arse? Maybe the OP is right and she is being very over familiar. If that’s the case I would feel the same sorry!

NoelFaraday · 05/07/2025 21:32

If Victor Meldrew was a woman …..

BallerinaRadio · 05/07/2025 21:32

Another post that reads like a short story submission, what's going on on here lately

RominaDina · 05/07/2025 21:32

Never, ever visit Sheffield.

RominaDina · 05/07/2025 21:30

PonyPatter44 · 05/07/2025 21:04

I feel a bit sad for you, tbh. I can't imagine getting so wound up about normal social interaction.

I think the word "murderous" was in there, too, so we're in quite different territory.

florizel13 · 05/07/2025 21:30

Notreallyme27 · 05/07/2025 19:58

You sound extremely southern. (Apologies to the friendly southerners!)

I'm a southerner but that made me 😂🤣

Cherrysherbet · 05/07/2025 21:29

Shakeyourbaublesandsmile · 05/07/2025 20:13

It’s ok OP - I get it sometimes at the end of day and I call by Asda for panic food buying I’m ready to explode if they asks me if I have had a nice day - it’s raining I might pee myself and I’m bloody knackered-

Read the room

I reserve the right to be and own my grumpy cowness

As long as you’re ok if the person serving you is grumpy? No?? Didn’t think so. They will also be at the end of their day, it’s raining for their journey home, they will be shopping after work (and answering customers questions about where things are after they’ve clocked out) and I can also guarantee a lot of them won’t have had a toilet break in hours.

I work in a supermarket, and believe me, you can’t do right for doing wrong. All for just over £12 per hour.

Manners cost nothing. Just because you don’t appreciate someone being courteous, it doesn’t mean lots of other customers don’t.

Just be kind…..you too OP.

RominaDina · 05/07/2025 21:28

Drowninginconfusion · 05/07/2025 21:25

I wouldn’t want to tell a stranger what I was having for lunch 🙈

Why? Is it something really weird?

RominaDina · 05/07/2025 21:28

Drowninginconfusion · 05/07/2025 20:51

It’s not rude to not want to answer a personal question from a stranger!

Yeah, she's not asking her what she thinks about Gaza, it's a 2 minute chit chat.

Berlinlover · 05/07/2025 21:25

I work on a supermarket checkout and you would absolutely hate me.

Drowninginconfusion · 05/07/2025 21:25

selkieselkie · 05/07/2025 21:24

But she hasn't asked any personal questions...

I wouldn’t want to tell a stranger what I was having for lunch 🙈

selkieselkie · 05/07/2025 21:24

Frenchiex · 05/07/2025 21:09

Throw her off and buy a twirl

😂😂😂

selkieselkie · 05/07/2025 21:24

Drowninginconfusion · 05/07/2025 20:51

It’s not rude to not want to answer a personal question from a stranger!

But she hasn't asked any personal questions...

MasterBeth · 05/07/2025 21:23

You sound fun.

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