Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Do Ladybirds have willies? (Lighthearted)

82 replies

mygrandchildrenrock · 05/07/2025 15:49

Having just pegged my washing out, ladybirds came swarming all over it. Each item of clothing had 3-6 ladybirds on. It made me think about washing being left out overnight and the horror that spider might ‘wipe their willies’ all over it!
YABU -Will my washing be safe
YBNBU -Will I have to re-wash it?!

OP posts:
B1anche · 05/07/2025 17:27

Well, I've certainly not wasted my time here today. What an education. I'm now armed with a whole new topic of conversation for parties.

DinoLil · 05/07/2025 17:25

I don't remember seeing a ladybird penis at the Penis Museum in Iceland.

I remember pig ones being curly.

Actually, I don't remember the last time I saw a ladybird!

Missmarplesknittingbuddy · 05/07/2025 17:25

Quacking4it · 05/07/2025 17:14

Ducks have corkscrew shaped penises

So handy if the want to get drunk and have wild sex ! .

Themtheywho · 05/07/2025 17:22

Mumsnet really is the font of all knowledge! What I'm sitting here wondering now is.....do lady barnacles move a bit funny or constantly have a huge grin on their face.....🤔

AKAanothername · 05/07/2025 17:22

tilypu · 05/07/2025 16:38

I'm not sure.

Barnacles are renowned for the length of theirs though, if that's any help?

It's very random but I knew this, must have watched a nature programme where it was mentioned. My late DH and I used to have an ongoing private joke about 'hung like a barnacle' or 'ooh, bet it's not as big as a barnacles'. This thread has made me very happy.

InjuryMyArse · 05/07/2025 17:21

I'm getting adverts for LoveHoney on this thread!

pizzaHeart · 05/07/2025 17:21

TwoLeftSocksWithHoles · 05/07/2025 16:32

I would think that the name 'ladybird' would mean that they don't, but then maybe the 'trans thing' has now been picked up by the insect world...🤔

Or we picked it up through washing from them…🤔

youreactinglikeafunmum · 05/07/2025 17:20

I think they're all girls

No idea how they reproduce 🤭

tilypu · 05/07/2025 17:19

Flatworms have penises with two heads, and they fight each other with them... I know men that would DEFINITELY do that if they could

Quacking4it · 05/07/2025 17:14

Ducks have corkscrew shaped penises

B1anche · 05/07/2025 17:11

Springflowersyay · 05/07/2025 16:37

Yes! Here are some pictures of them (different species)

Isn't the Internet great? In the old days you would've had to go to the library to dig out this sort of info with the help of the librarian. Although, you probably wouldn't have been discussing ladybird penises with a group of strangers (or maybe you would...I'm not judging).

SummerFrog25 · 05/07/2025 17:10

B1anche · 05/07/2025 16:54

8 times their body length so they can fertilise their neighbour. Thank goodness human males don't have this feature. (Closes bedroom window just in case)

Show quote history

8x their body length... can you imagine??

SummerFrog25 · 05/07/2025 17:06

Springflowersyay · 05/07/2025 16:37

Yes! Here are some pictures of them (different species)

Porn!!

Bridport · 05/07/2025 17:05

B1anche · 05/07/2025 16:54

8 times their body length so they can fertilise their neighbour. Thank goodness human males don't have this feature. (Closes bedroom window just in case)

Show quote history

This is why we had to stop keeping barnacles.

InWithThePlums · 05/07/2025 17:05

I heard they had nine hour orgasms and no qualms about necrophilia.

NPET · 05/07/2025 17:02

I'm sure half of them must have!
Their name seems to be a rare example of the female getting "the upper hand" sts - whereas in most animals, like dog, lion, tiger, peacock, etc., the male name is used for both.

Bridport · 05/07/2025 16:57

@Justlovedogs Really hope your husband is well and home very soon. You must have had a helluva week.

tilypu · 05/07/2025 16:56

B1anche · 05/07/2025 16:54

8 times their body length so they can fertilise their neighbour. Thank goodness human males don't have this feature. (Closes bedroom window just in case)

Show quote history

Ooh this so needs the laughing emoji back!!!

B1anche · 05/07/2025 16:54

tilypu · 05/07/2025 16:45

Nice! I hope there's is a big jump in people searching this, and someone at Google is scratching his head wondering why there is a sudden interest in the length of a barnacle penis 😁

Show quote history

8 times their body length so they can fertilise their neighbour. Thank goodness human males don't have this feature. (Closes bedroom window just in case)

Justlovedogs · 05/07/2025 16:51

Thanks for this thread @mygrandchildrenrockand everyone else that has posted. I needed a giggle after a rough week (DH in critical care following an aneurysm and emergency surgery on Monday) and this hit the spot!
For the record, I am one of those MNetters who lets their washing get darked on and doesn't care about spider's willies! 😂

AcademicallyAverageTeddy · 05/07/2025 16:46

Springflowersyay · 05/07/2025 16:37

Yes! Here are some pictures of them (different species)

This is already shaping up to be one of the best Mumsnet threads ever

tilypu · 05/07/2025 16:45

B1anche · 05/07/2025 16:41

Thanks. I now have "Do barnacles have long penises" on my Google search history.

Show quote history

Nice! I hope there's is a big jump in people searching this, and someone at Google is scratching his head wondering why there is a sudden interest in the length of a barnacle penis 😁

tilypu · 05/07/2025 16:43

Bridport · 05/07/2025 16:42

How long? Could they reach a washing line?!!

Show quote history

I believe they are pretty long. If you live by the coast then maybe get a tumble drier?

Bridport · 05/07/2025 16:42

tilypu · 05/07/2025 16:38

I'm not sure.

Barnacles are renowned for the length of theirs though, if that's any help?

How long? Could they reach a washing line?!!

NormasArse · 05/07/2025 16:41

MoominUnderWater · 05/07/2025 16:39

They do, even ants do.

most insects have a “lock and key” type genitals so they can’t accidentally mate with a different type of insect. So a male ladybird penis will only fit into a female ladybird. And an ant couldn’t have sex with a ladybird.

Which is why there are no insect swingers clubs- fact.

Swipe left for the next trending thread