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AIBU?

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Original poster

Do Ladybirds have willies? (Lighthearted)

82 replies

mygrandchildrenrock · 05/07/2025 15:49

Having just pegged my washing out, ladybirds came swarming all over it. Each item of clothing had 3-6 ladybirds on. It made me think about washing being left out overnight and the horror that spider might ‘wipe their willies’ all over it!
YABU -Will my washing be safe
YBNBU -Will I have to re-wash it?!

OP posts:
ThatDaringEagle · 03/08/2025 03:24

tilypu · 05/07/2025 16:45

Nice! I hope there's is a big jump in people searching this, and someone at Google is scratching his head wondering why there is a sudden interest in the length of a barnacle penis 😁

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This would then be classified as 'an acquired taste' for Mumsnetters....

I mean whatever ye're into yourselves really, just try not to type with your mouths full !! ;)

DeanStockwelll · 05/07/2025 22:49

@mygrandchildrenrock , thank you so much for this thread, it's given me such a laugh. We definitely need the 😄 back.
At first my innocent mind ( yeah right ) thought your washing might somehow get spots on it , but after seeing the ladybird porn that @Springflowersyay posted I think you are more right to be worried about their penis's .

I wonder if other shell fish are jealous of barnacles?

Sweetpea , our kind of thread 😂

HoratioBum · 05/07/2025 22:45

Quacking4it · 05/07/2025 17:14

Ducks have corkscrew shaped penises

Wait till you hear about female Mallard’s vaginas.

Original poster
mygrandchildrenrock · 05/07/2025 22:10

Well you’ll all be pleased to hear the washing is in, all bugs shaken out and I really wish Mumsnet would bring back the 😂because I’d have given it to so many of you!

OP posts:
AloeVeraAloeFred · 05/07/2025 19:38

They're willies Jim, but not as we know them

Justlovedogs · 05/07/2025 19:37

mygrandchildrenrock · 05/07/2025 16:34

Hmm, I hadn’t thought of that, but how do ladybirds have baby ladybirds if some of them aren’t men!

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Thanks for all the good wishes 😍

Has nobody on this thread seen A Bugs Life? Boy ladybirds (ladybugs) get very upset when everyone assumes they're a lady... 😳

NPET · 05/07/2025 19:20

crackofdoom · 05/07/2025 18:03

I'm never going to look at those guys washing first floor windows from ground level with their long hoses in the same way again 😬

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Often worried that they're wobbly and could snap off!

FormidableAnt · 05/07/2025 19:09

Bridport · 05/07/2025 16:42

How long? Could they reach a washing line?!!

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They ARE the washing line.

crackofdoom · 05/07/2025 18:03

B1anche · 05/07/2025 16:54

8 times their body length so they can fertilise their neighbour. Thank goodness human males don't have this feature. (Closes bedroom window just in case)

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I'm never going to look at those guys washing first floor windows from ground level with their long hoses in the same way again 😬

Painrelief · 05/07/2025 18:01

Well I never thought when I woke up this morning I would be finding out about a ladybirds penis 🤣🤣🤣 this has really made my day .

LiteralLunatic · 05/07/2025 17:58

mygrandchildrenrock · 05/07/2025 17:37

We’re safe though, the article says they only pass them to other ladybirds!

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They can pass them on to other insects, spiders and centipedes though. Think of the poor spiders wiping their willies on your washing! How will they explain that to their wives?!!

B1anche · 05/07/2025 17:45

mygrandchildrenrock · 05/07/2025 17:37

Some people on AIBU can be quite sniffy about certain threads. Need to make things crystal clear!

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That's true. Someone would have come along to remind us about the situation in the middle east, or told you that you must live a charmed life if this is all you have to worry about.

Abhannmor · 05/07/2025 17:38

Justlovedogs · 05/07/2025 16:51

Thanks for this thread @mygrandchildrenrockand everyone else that has posted. I needed a giggle after a rough week (DH in critical care following an aneurysm and emergency surgery on Monday) and this hit the spot!
For the record, I am one of those MNetters who lets their washing get darked on and doesn't care about spider's willies! 😂

Best wishes for your DH 🙏 🌺

tilypu · 05/07/2025 17:38

mygrandchildrenrock · 05/07/2025 17:36

Wow! You lot are wonderful and have cheered me up no end.
@Justlovedogs I do hope your DH makes a good recovery.
Now, someone said you only had to worry if you live at the coast, and I do indeed live about 100 yds from the beach and peg my washing out from February through till October, although ladybirds are mainly around in June.

That was in relation to barnacle willies. Ladybird willies are EVERYWHERE! Well, everywhere there are ladybirds. Lordbirds?

Original poster
mygrandchildrenrock · 05/07/2025 17:37

tobee · 05/07/2025 17:28

I love the brackets (lighthearted) on this thread title .

As opposed to....?

Some people on AIBU can be quite sniffy about certain threads. Need to make things crystal clear!

OP posts:
DinoLil · 05/07/2025 17:37

@pizzaHeartVaguely! I was watching a film the other day and there was a naked man lying in a shower being murdered. I was so underwhelmed that I can't remember what the film was! 😂

Original poster
mygrandchildrenrock · 05/07/2025 17:37

LiteralLunatic · 05/07/2025 17:29

Not only do ladybirds have penises, they have (I quote) “an unfortunate number of STIs”!

www.theguardian.com/environment/shortcuts/2018/oct/11/invasion-of-the-ladybirds-why-are-these-sti-infected-insects-taking-over-our-homes

We’re safe though, the article says they only pass them to other ladybirds!

OP posts:
Original poster
mygrandchildrenrock · 05/07/2025 17:36

Wow! You lot are wonderful and have cheered me up no end.
@Justlovedogs I do hope your DH makes a good recovery.
Now, someone said you only had to worry if you live at the coast, and I do indeed live about 100 yds from the beach and peg my washing out from February through till October, although ladybirds are mainly around in June.

OP posts:
GaspingGekko · 05/07/2025 17:32

Mumsnet is so informative in the most unexpected ways at times.

When I sat down to scroll just now I never expected to gain so much penis information.

Missmarplesknittingbuddy · 05/07/2025 17:31

Quacking4it · 05/07/2025 17:29

Snakes and lizards have 2 . Handy if one breaks down I suppose

Won't happen like that . They will be like buses, both will break down or they will all come at once.

LiteralLunatic · 05/07/2025 17:29

Not only do ladybirds have penises, they have (I quote) “an unfortunate number of STIs”!

www.theguardian.com/environment/shortcuts/2018/oct/11/invasion-of-the-ladybirds-why-are-these-sti-infected-insects-taking-over-our-homes

Quacking4it · 05/07/2025 17:29

Snakes and lizards have 2 . Handy if one breaks down I suppose

pizzaHeart · 05/07/2025 17:28

DinoLil · 05/07/2025 17:25

I don't remember seeing a ladybird penis at the Penis Museum in Iceland.

I remember pig ones being curly.

Actually, I don't remember the last time I saw a ladybird!

The next logical question do you remember the last time you saw a penis?

tobee · 05/07/2025 17:28

I love the brackets (lighthearted) on this thread title .

As opposed to....?

Missmarplesknittingbuddy · 05/07/2025 17:28

AKAanothername · 05/07/2025 17:22

It's very random but I knew this, must have watched a nature programme where it was mentioned. My late DH and I used to have an ongoing private joke about 'hung like a barnacle' or 'ooh, bet it's not as big as a barnacles'. This thread has made me very happy.

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Oh yes , definitely a " nature " programme that you were watching 😉

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