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Original poster

Do Ladybirds have willies? (Lighthearted)

82 replies

mygrandchildrenrock · 05/07/2025 15:49

Having just pegged my washing out, ladybirds came swarming all over it. Each item of clothing had 3-6 ladybirds on. It made me think about washing being left out overnight and the horror that spider might ‘wipe their willies’ all over it!
YABU -Will my washing be safe
YBNBU -Will I have to re-wash it?!

OP posts:
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Ashley911 · 04/08/2025 17:00

I do t think a ladybird would do that

tilypu · 04/08/2025 16:58

It would be interesting to know what the animal kingdom would say about the human penis/sperm quantity... Fruit flies would be like 'how can you expect to have babies if that's all you're got...'

Original poster
mygrandchildrenrock · 04/08/2025 12:17

Thank you so much for reviving this thread. You have made me chuckle out loud!
Ladybirds have not been so pervasive in the past few days, and with the named storm coming I think the tumble dryer will be used this week!
I certainly know a lot more about anatomies than I did when I first posted!

OP posts:
GarlicLitre · 03/08/2025 18:21

QuaverQuanta · 03/08/2025 14:33

Could you imagine the human scale equivalent? Would be like a pod of whales shooting out of his todger

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😂😂😂🐋🐳

Createausername1970 · 03/08/2025 14:36

tilypu · 05/07/2025 16:43

I believe they are pretty long. If you live by the coast then maybe get a tumble drier?

Edited
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I do love these threads.

I will still be giggling about this later.... But try explaining it to a confused DH 🤣

topcat2014 · 03/08/2025 14:35

Bridport · 05/07/2025 16:41

Initially I thought your washing would be absolutely fine, but having seen the detailed genitals diagram I have changed my mind.

You should double bag your laundry and take it immediately to your local tip where it can be disposed of safely.

You should take it to our local tip where they buried the entire ambulances from the Salisbury poisonings - just to be safe.

QuaverQuanta · 03/08/2025 14:33

GarlicLitre · 03/08/2025 13:40

OMG! Their sperm are 20 times their body length 😲 "Males have to grow these outrageously large testes and the sperm are all rolled up inside. The testes are about 11 per cent of the male's total body mass."

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Could you imagine the human scale equivalent? Would be like a pod of whales shooting out of his todger

Ownedbykitties · 03/08/2025 14:24

What a fantastically ludicrous thread! I LOVE it! Thanks everyone. Made me giggle. 👏👏👏

Wingedharpy · 03/08/2025 14:24

GarlicLitre · 03/08/2025 13:40

OMG! Their sperm are 20 times their body length 😲 "Males have to grow these outrageously large testes and the sperm are all rolled up inside. The testes are about 11 per cent of the male's total body mass."

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Gives a whole new meaning to the phrase Billy big balls. 😅

NPET · 03/08/2025 14:11

GarlicLitre · 03/08/2025 13:40

OMG! Their sperm are 20 times their body length 😲 "Males have to grow these outrageously large testes and the sperm are all rolled up inside. The testes are about 11 per cent of the male's total body mass."

Show quote history

I'm suddenly jealous of a female fruit fly lol

GarlicLitre · 03/08/2025 13:40

QuaverQuanta · 03/08/2025 13:29

It's not barnacles you need to worry about, it's fruit flies. Biggest sperm of any living creature, up to 6cm long. Makes you wonder how they even get off the ground 🤔

OMG! Their sperm are 20 times their body length 😲 "Males have to grow these outrageously large testes and the sperm are all rolled up inside. The testes are about 11 per cent of the male's total body mass."

QuaverQuanta · 03/08/2025 13:29

It's not barnacles you need to worry about, it's fruit flies. Biggest sperm of any living creature, up to 6cm long. Makes you wonder how they even get off the ground 🤔

NPET · 03/08/2025 13:06

Violinist64 · 03/08/2025 03:47

The male of every species has a member. I know this because it brings back an excruciating memory of my late father, who loved all nature programmes, watching a natural history documentary about this very subject at my house. The cameras honed in on each animal for full effect. Dad was engrossed and oblivious. I was mortified. had to leave the room because I really, really did not want to watch such a programme in the company of my fairly elderly father. It was the close up of the snake's appendage that was the last straw for me.

Definitely sounds the kind of programme my sister & I would have loved though! (Especially if our brother was squirming in the corner!)
She and I were TERRIBLE after watching a documentary telling us how big a blue whale's p was. The next day at school we... well I better not continue.

teaandtoastwithmarmite · 03/08/2025 11:00

If you get one crawling on your hand you get that yellow stuff (is it poo?!). That would make me want to wash it again.

BoredZelda · 03/08/2025 11:00

B1anche · 05/07/2025 16:41

Thanks. I now have "Do barnacles have long penises" on my Google search history.

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That’s funny. 😆

GarlicLitre · 03/08/2025 10:55

LoopyLoo1991 · 03/08/2025 10:51

I'm not sure about what ladybirds are packing, but I do recall from some useless facts book that the male dog flea has the most complicated penis of any animal 😁

😂 I had to Google that, obviously, and thought you'd all enjoy the relevant articles it suggested:

Do Ladybirds have willies? (Lighthearted)
GarlicLitre · 03/08/2025 10:52

SummerFrog25 · 03/08/2025 10:44

Poor bastard!!

Doesnt even get to enjoy anything before he dies!!

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Yh, I was thinking about that (insomnia: random cogitations and unwise online purchases). Octopods have highly developed nervous systems, so I hope he goes out in a blaze of ecstasy as his penis kills him by shooting itself out of his face 😕

LoopyLoo1991 · 03/08/2025 10:51

I'm not sure about what ladybirds are packing, but I do recall from some useless facts book that the male dog flea has the most complicated penis of any animal 😁

SummerFrog25 · 03/08/2025 10:45

KimberleyClark · 03/08/2025 05:43

I think so

That probably need to be age verified now!!

🤣🤣

SummerFrog25 · 03/08/2025 10:44

GarlicLitre · 03/08/2025 04:09

Oh, what a glorious thread! What a poignant reminder of our recently-deceased laughter react button!

The argonaut octopus has a detachable penis, which explosively ejects from his face (yes) and swims like a self-guiding missile to the female's mantle, where it burrows in next to her reproductive organ. The male argonaut instantly dies.

I'm not sure it makes this scenario any less creepy to know the female is ten times the size of the male. Also, she can store several sperm-laden penises until she's ready, then fertilise her eggs with all or any of them.

As you live on the coast, OP, best you try not to look like a female argonaut.

Poor bastard!!

Doesnt even get to enjoy anything before he dies!!

SummerFrog25 · 03/08/2025 10:42

JoshLymanSwagger · 03/08/2025 04:05

I wonder where they keep it when they're not using it?🤔

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Rolled up like a fireman's hose?

or it shrinks up to a manageable size??

might have to google now!!

anyway, what were you doing thinking about ladybird willies at 4am. Deviant.

🤣🤣🤣

KimberleyClark · 03/08/2025 05:43

I think so

Sensitive content
Do Ladybirds have willies? (Lighthearted)
GarlicLitre · 03/08/2025 04:09

Oh, what a glorious thread! What a poignant reminder of our recently-deceased laughter react button!

The argonaut octopus has a detachable penis, which explosively ejects from his face (yes) and swims like a self-guiding missile to the female's mantle, where it burrows in next to her reproductive organ. The male argonaut instantly dies.

I'm not sure it makes this scenario any less creepy to know the female is ten times the size of the male. Also, she can store several sperm-laden penises until she's ready, then fertilise her eggs with all or any of them.

As you live on the coast, OP, best you try not to look like a female argonaut.

JoshLymanSwagger · 03/08/2025 04:05

SummerFrog25 · 05/07/2025 17:10

8x their body length... can you imagine??

Show quote history

I wonder where they keep it when they're not using it?🤔

Violinist64 · 03/08/2025 03:47

The male of every species has a member. I know this because it brings back an excruciating memory of my late father, who loved all nature programmes, watching a natural history documentary about this very subject at my house. The cameras honed in on each animal for full effect. Dad was engrossed and oblivious. I was mortified. had to leave the room because I really, really did not want to watch such a programme in the company of my fairly elderly father. It was the close up of the snake's appendage that was the last straw for me.