To be annoyed none of my friends have come to my concerts?

If the music was in the style of the film 'Sister Act', I'd consider going. If its regular choral music- no way.

I have friends that I like to spend time with- not watch THEM doing THEIR hobby! They don't come to my house to watch me garden, crochet or exercise!

This I would hate to sing in public so it wouldn’t cross my mind to go unless you specifically invited me!

It is not entirely clear from your post if you have extended an invitation to your friends? Or are you just expecting them to show up by assuming they’ve seen that there is a concert coming up? If it really means a lot to you, maybe just ask them to come to one?

If I was a close friend of yours, I would probably go for one concert (I’m not that fond of choirs but I’d want to support a friend). But I’d only go if I was actually invited by my friend for a specific date/time.

Typical cold MN responses. If they are close friends and this means a lot to you they should try and go once.
Depends how much friendships mean to you but you reap what you sow in my opinion. They might not love the choir itself but being there sends a message that they want to be there for you. It works both ways.

Of course, absolutely no obligation. Stick with what you know 🙂

I'm not very familiar with it at all. I just have a pretty immediate reaction that I don't want to hear any more of it. That's fine, isn't it?

Are we obliged to "explore" heavy metal or K-pop or smooth jazz if we don't know much about it but know we don't care for it?

I've sung in choirs and played in gigging bands. Tbh, I've never expected or assumed anyone would come because, let's face it, no one wants to see a band whose music they're not into and choirs are boring.

My children were also in choirs as children/teens and, although they were very good and I loved seeing my children. It was also boring 🤷🏻‍♀️

@MasterBeth if you’re familiar with a wide range of choral music and you know it’s not for you, no problem 🤷‍♀️ My comment was for people who don’t know much about it and have decided they don’t like it based on assumptions and little experience of it. I’m just suggesting that it’s worth exploring if it’s largely an unknown area of music.

I'm currently "between choirs", but have been in many, many concerts over the years. And although family have attended a very small few, none of my friends ever have, not one.
I'd say 8 out of 10 choir concerts I've done as an adult, I've had no one in the audience just for me. I did find it a bit sad, but I was in choirs because I enjoyed it. I realise it's not everyone's cup of tea.

Are you ok?

Yeah, but... You clearly love that music. Great.

But I don't choose to listen to that music even when it's performed by the best singers and instrumentalists in the world. It's not my kind of thing.

I'm not suddenly going to find it entrancing because in a bunch of amateurs, however talented, there's my mate Laura.

EDIT: Just in case I was, I have started playing Figure Humaine by Poulenc on Spotify and, honestly, this is the kind of music I hope and expect to not hear again until, I don't know, the King dies...

I’m really sorry but I find this type of thing really annoying.

People who do choir, in a band, in a performance/drama group or similar and who keep advertising their performances for people to attend are being pushy. I have no interest in going but yet am put in the position to say no time and time again.

This is rife on my kids’ school WhatsApp groups. I find it really uncomfortable and cringy.

if people want to go, they’ll express an interest and go. If not, take the hint and leave them be.

If you were in Oasis or ELO (both playing this week) your friends would be right there with backstage passes. But a choir? They aren't interested.

This is such an interesting thread. I’m a devoted choral singer and have sung in the same chamber choir for over 25 years. Yes we are good (we do paid gigs as well as unpaid) but I gave up years ago mentioning our concerts to friends as no one ever wants to come. Fair enough, I would hate for someone to go to a concert because they felt obliged through friendship.

But I’m sad to see so many people in this thread dismissing choral music entirely. It’s more than ‘just old ladies singing Old Lang Syne’ or however @ElCorazon so charmingly put it. There is a world of glorious music out there, moving, inspiring, life-affirming, and even (gasp) amateurs can produce enjoyable performances. Bach motets, Songs of Farewell by Parry, Figure Humaine by Poulenc, music by Eric Whitacre, Arvo Part, Eric Esenvalds … there is so much incredible music to discover.

It's your hobby which is great but do you go and watch all your friends at their hobbies? Say football, netball, track events, tennis tournaments, etc I don't view it as any different. If you were performing on the west end or something major that's different.

If someone is a solo singer/musician/artist/dancer whatever then I think many of their friends would make an effort to go to the odd performance, but I agree with PPs that amateur choir singing is boring to watch and listen to!

Just because your interest/hobby involves performing doesn't mean that your friends should be interested - and you're being unreasonable to be annoyed!

It's your hobby, not theirs.

But not in the way they want to be supported clearly …

☝️this. I have a friend in a choir and whilst I love her, nothing would entice me to go.

Where I do sympathise if if you’ve gone to their performances and they’ve not done the same for you because it feels unequal. However I don’t generally think you should expect people to come. People have such a lot on that they have to prioritise how to spend their time. I’m a single parent of young children and I work full time. I am honestly constantly teetering on the brink with stress and exhaustion. I just don’t have the capacity for people being needy about going along to support their hobbies.

As for “self centred cunts”, I’ve supported my friends in so many ways. Im a good friend and have a very wide circle of friends. I’m a lawyer and have devoted hours to helping people with issues at work, their landlords, divorces etc. I’ve arranged hens, surprise parties, been a constant open ear whenever someone needs to talk. I gave up a weekend to help a friend move house because she has a disability which means she can’t lift boxes easily. I help my friends out with childcare whenever I can. I support my friends in so many different ways but I’m a “self centred cunt” because I don’t want to use a rare free evening siting having a horrible time doing something I really don’t want to do?

Yes, I find choir singing really boring. Most of us did our stint of performances when our children were young. You are being quite unreasonable to expect your friends to sit there bored.

I love a choir so I’d go. But generally I think only your immediate family who have a duty to turn up to this sort of stuff- I wouldn’t expect my friends to do so.

Do you watch them do their hobbies?

Gosh it's tricky. My friends are into things I find dreary and I wouldn't want to hurt their feelings but I 100% wouldn't attend those.. Sometimes we're just polite and pretend we like things. It's time and money and maybe they have other priorities.
Don't take it personal.

I would go and watch friends sing but I know nothing about choirs and might not know that it was an open invite unless told. For example, if it’s in a church is it just for those churchgoers etc.

If you were my friend I would gladly come and support you but would need a, ‘I’m playing at the community centre on the 21st. Do you fancy popping along?’

Not sure if it’s the same but I’m an artist and when I exhibit I invite people despite it not being invite only. Lots of them wouldn’t go in a gallery unless they knew that me and my work are there.

Just a thought. Might just be me though!

I’ve been singing in a choir for years and only family have come to see me sing. I think it’s one of those things that is fun for the performers, not so much for other people, unless you are a fan of the particular music genre. I used to sing in one of those pop choirs, but honestly, I wouldn’t watch one, and certainly wouldn’t pay for it. OP, you could ask friends if you could buy them a ticket if you really want them to come.

I just think it's a bit ridiculous to charge when professional musicians struggle to sell tickets to their gigs?

It's a hobby group. If they're really good then the leader will be paid by someone else for them to perform. If they're not really good then they should give back to the community by at least letting people listen to them for free. Otherwise it's just self indulgence?

The choir is meant to be able to perform in front of an audience. That's supposed to be the point.

But not to make a profit from it? It's meant to be showcasing itself to the local community, to help cohesion, to bring people some happiness?

I just don't see why anyone would pay for that when they could go to an actual professional concert.