To be annoyed none of my friends have come to my concerts?

I agree with you. I believe friends should show up to support each other.

A few years ago I was dancing and took part in a few shows. None of my friends came. I was so proud of what I’d done. It just made me feel very alone.

My friend is doing gigs in pubs and singing country music. I don't like that music and haven't been to see them. I'd be even less likely to see a boring choir! I sell at craft fairs and majority of friends don't come to see me. It's fine. We support each other in other ways and meet up and have fun at other times.

I sing in a choir too OP. It's difficult because we spend a lot of time learning the songs, and really we need to perform them, and for that we need an audience. My DH comes every time with my friend's husband, but many if the choir don't bring anyone. So where does the audience come from?
I have asked friends if they'd like to come and made a party up so that we meet up after. They have also come to our main concert, where we provide a full meal. They have said they enjoyed it. But it's not everyone 's cup of tea.
It's a dilemma, we're just trying to make it more than us singing.

You need to ask, even if casually “Got my next show on at xx on yy, anyone want a ticket?”

If you judge your friends by how YOU would behave, you'll continue to be disappointed.
Enjoy singing in your concerts and seeing your DH in the audience, and forget about everyone else. If you want to go along when your friends are doing a performance/marathon/exhibition yada yada, then continue to do so - you do you.

I’m a professional musician, and have been for many years. My friends rarely come to my concerts (and I do a lot!) mostly due to lack of interest, also due to busy lives etc.
Sometimes it frustrates me, particularly if I’m playing a concert close to a friend and I’ve taken the time to let them know and have assured them it’ll be a good one (I’m freelance so not all of them are 😂) but you can take a horse to water…!
Enjoy what you do, and be thankful you have a lovely DH who supports you. I have a lovely partner who supports me too, when I’m playing locally he’s nearly always there and that’s lovely ❤️ sing your heart out, knowing you’re doing it well and having a great time, your friends might one day still come, but in the meantime just keep loving what you do.

If I'm being honest, this is really a you problem and nothing to do with your friends. You have decided that a yardstick of friendship is for people to unquestioningly attend each others' hobbies and performances.

As you can see from this thread, this is not a view shared by the majority of people around you. So, you are effectively setting up a secret test of friendship with rules that no one knows, then judging your friends for failing it.

If I were your friend, I would actually be someone who would happily come along (once) if invited and would try to find something nice to say. But I wouldn't assume when you told me you had a concert that it would mean anything to you if I came along because it wouldn't be the same for me if I was performing.

So, I suggest you accept that your yardstick of friendship is yours, and others will vary. Specifically invite your friends along to any performance that is really important to you and maybe make it into more of an evening by suggesting you all go out for dinner or drinks afterwards. You might have more success that way, and everyone would get something out of the evening, you included.

I have lots of experience in performing in a wide range of types of choirs and I’m not sure anyone except very close relatives has ever watched me sing in an amateur choir

It actually wouldn’t even occur to me that a friend might come to watch, and it also wouldn’t occur to me to go to a friend’s choir performance - unless it was a very, very good choir who sang proper choral music that I was interested in. Solo performances are different, but just amateur choir, pop/rock choir type stuff? No

Totally agree. My elderly mum's neighbour is like this. Constantly asking her to buy tickets to see her amateur choir. She'd rather watch paint dry. I would never go, but to be honest I wouldn't be friends with people who push their own hobbies like this. People are really busy nowadays and don't want to waste precious leisure time.

Is this Rock Choir? I sing in Rock Choir and when concerts come up I invite people but I always make it clear that they are under no obligation because I understand it’s not everyone’s thing. I don’t think it would be a measure of friendship for me.
My OH isn’t really into choirs but he has come to a couple of concerts to support me. I don’t expect him to come to more than the odd one and even that I wouldn’t expect if it weren’t for my daughter who is 10 and loves seeing us and I need him to bring her!

They are interested in you as a friend. They’re just not interested in watching you sing. Which is perfectly reasonable IMO

I wouldn’t go to a choir performance just because my friend was in it. It’s not my kind of music and I wouldn’t enjoy it. I wouldn’t expect my friends to watch/read/listen my creative projects if they aren’t to their taste.

Sorry, I think this.

It’s really annoying when people expect you to be excited about their hobby or job.

I adore choral music. Which, to be honest, would make me less likely to attend an amateur choral event I thought would be bad.

I'm sorry but I wouldn't go I couldn't think of anything more boring than a night watching choir singing. That's just me. Maybe they're the same. Even if my best mate of 35 years was in there i wouldn't. And nor would I expect her to go to anything i do that she may find boring.

I don't get the whole idea of wanting support from friends. I compete in a sport, I win medals in it, I don't expect anyone to come watch, not even my husband. I don't watch his hobbies either

So in my mind, it's not something reciprocal, I don't want anyone to watch me doing my hobbies so it wouldn't occur to me to spend time watching someone else do theirs.

On the - different to friends growing up thing - it’s totally different as you get older. I saw loads of friends plays in my teens and 20s, but feel like I’ve used up my tolerance for it and have limited time left on earth so am more choosey with how I spend it. I’m still a good friend but better at boundaries and not doing things I don’t like just because someone expects it. Good friends wouldn’t want to make me sit through something I wasn’t going to enjoy.

No I couldn’t think of anything worse than going to see a choir! Maybe it’s not their cup of tea. I get you feel they aren’t supportive but this is a bit niche! You can’t force them.

One of my friends sings in an amateur choir. They were singing at a fun day event locally so I saw her there unintentionally (having taken kids to the event generally) and gotta say I found it quite cringe to see her - she was loving it so I’m happy for her on that score but it gave me a really uncomfortable feeling like when my nan used to oversing in church. As others have said, it’s way more fun for the singers who’re getting lost in it then the ones having to watch unless it’s mega their thing. Different with pro’s or even a church choir doing hymns at a ceremony but something about the ‘fun’ amateur choirs is intrinsically awkward to watch for some of us and watching a friend in one is worse. More like watching them at it than playing sport or acting. Something unbridled and exposing about it. Hence why your DH is more enraptured.

I wouldn’t want to go and listen to a choir for the evening, but if you were performing a few songs at a fete or in the town band stand for example I’d happily pop along. Maybe tell them about those kind of things instead?

No, I wouldn't go. I'm not interested in spending my evening listening to a choir. I'm pretty tone deaf and don't enjoy concerts. I'd be surprised to discover that a friend expected me to go to support them. It is their hobby, not mine.

I played Hockey at County level from my teens to my 30s. It would never have occurred to me to expect friends or family to come watch me. I also played for a club that won a lot of tournaments, cups and shields. Same with tennis. Again, I don't think any of my family ever came to watch a tournament. It's a long, boring day if you aren't interested in watching hockey or tennis matches.

I'll be honest, I'm not really interested in watching hockey matches. Fun to play, not fun to be watching.

Growing up your friends probably had more free time than they do now. Do they make time for you otherwise? That's what you should focus on. Not whether they spend an evening or afternoon passively listening to you singing in a choir.

I'm in a cathedral choir but I would never expect friends to come and see me sing even though it's free and reasonably high quality. It's not their thing.

I would also never pay to see an amateur choir or attend one of their concerts even if a friend was a member. I hate the sound, I sit there judging any wrong notes or badly timed moments and being there makes me feel sick and incredibly anxious (which is a horrible and totally involuntary response).

The only time I will go see a choir is if they're professional e.g the Monteverdi choir or the sixteen. Anything else is a waste of an evening for me.

I might go occasionally just to support my friend, probably not a lot. Most people would not assume it means that much to someone, I’d be clear to people it means a lot to you, just don’t expect it from others. Maybe consider how much you support your friends in all areas of life, areas you would not have considered until now. Do they nobble you for attention? If not, just think about that before you complain to them.