To be annoyed none of my friends have come to my concerts?

I like choirs and concerts so I would definitely go. I have zero interest in sports but I’ve been to see my friend’s amateur women’s rugby team several times because I love her! I would feel upset too, OP

I have friends in choirs . I appreciate and recognise their interest and talent. I am not interested in choirs / concerts.. i have never once gone and I wouldn't expect them to come watch me in a netball match...

DH is in a choir. He has a beautiful voice and I encouraged him to join. But I dread his concerts. Three times a year. They are so dull. The music is rarely to my taste. The programme is always about twenty minutes too long. The quality of the singing is amateur. The interval goes on forever to give them all a chance to get a drink and go to the loo. They serve very mean half-filled glasses of sour white wine or lukewarm elderflower cordial and charge too much for it. And horrible handfuls of weird-flavoured crisps served in paper cupcake cases. They are such depressing evenings. I force myself to go to one a year and am luckily often ill with a cold for the winter one.

I also have a very good friend who is in a small semi-pro music group. They do a couple of concerts a year. I've been to one. It was okay, but not my taste in music at all. the repertoire is the same every time so I have no desire to see it again. But she is always asking and I have to make excuses.

My rule is - do things because you want to do them, but never force others to support you. I make stuff. I never suggest people buy it. Never offer it as a present unless someone actively requests it.

I'm sorry OP, but I'm not with you at all.

I play piano and go to regular piano events. My DP does sometimes come, but I certainly wouldn't expect my friends to. I do it for me; these events give me a focus and a reason to practice, all of which gives me great pleasure, but to someone not involved they are likely to be rather boring

I'd attend and have done so even if i didn't like the activity. if i like the friend I'd go at least once.

I think we would all agree with that in principle, but lives are busy and most rarely get to do all the things they feel they want to do, let alone the things they feel obligated to do … It’s not a deliberate snub,

I have a couple of friends who are in choirs and would love to go and see them but unfortunately this is way down my list after trying to arrange time off work to see my own DC's activities at school, weekends, evenings etc.

Please don't take it personally, it's just an event not everyone can manage to go to unless maybe retired and a personal interest.

I used to martial arts competitions but didn't dream of inviting anyone along, just me and family once for a big event. Xxx

I would ask you about your interests but I would have no interest in watching a choir. Sorry. Likewise I wouldn’t expect my friends to watch me doing my hobbies.

I think you should invite them directly to a concert instead of just assuming/expecting that they’d attend your choir performances, even if they supposedly “know” when and where they are.

You're projecting your mores and social morals onto your friends, and that’s a bit unfair.

I know you said you’ve attended friends’ art shows and plays and so on - but have you attended any of the events/etc. of these SPECIFIC friends you’re hurt about, the local ones who would, in concept, be the ones attending your choir performances? Have you gone to their birthdays, etc.?

As we would have said when I was a kid, you’re being a bit butthurt about this. It’s understandable - but other people aren’t you, even if they’re lifelong friends, and expecting them to socially act exactly as you do is unfair.

I personally would never just go to a friend’s event/concert/performance unless I’d been at least superficially invited.

Invite a few of your friends to your next choir performance, express how much it would mean to you to have them attend if they can, and go from there.

YABU. I sing in a choir too. My friends and family always know when we're singing in concerts but few rarely come. It's frustrating but it's not everyone's bag, unless it's something like a Christmas concert where they know what to expect. It's quite a specific type of music, and tickets for concerts are expensive!

Im not into choirs, id try and come once though.

That said people are busy and may see this more as your hobby than as a performance. If its important to you id ask them to come sometime, they may have not realised it would be appreciated.

Obviously if you tell them its important to you and they dont bother thats a bit shitty

Oh god I have friends who always ask me to go and watch them in their dance show… it’s so uncomfortably embarrassing when they do. I don’t mind going to watch them if it’s a special one off thing…. But it’s like all the time. I’d never ask my friends to come and watch me do something that I do regularly.

I know just how you feel. I'm a very keen amateur actor and I've been doing this for over 40 years. My big sister has been to see me twice in all that time, my stepchildren once and my daughter a handful of times. Most of my friends aren't interested. Hurts doesn't it when you've rehearsed for months and are proud of what you do ?

Her experience is that it’s not fun for “anyone”. How can she know? Has she personally asked every person who’s ever gone to hear a friend sing in a concert?

I think my understanding of English is better than yours.

So why claim that it’s not fun for “anyone” rather than just yourself?

I'm not rude or ignorant. I said 'in my experience' and that is true and I also have 'a couple of friends' who have sung in choirs.

Yes, and in her experience that has been true.

Is English not your first language?

No - she started off saying it was her experience but then said that they weren’t fun for “anyone” who “has to” sit and listen to them.

It wouldn’t kill them, worst case they might actually enjoy it. Certainly it’s something I’d do for my friends.

No, it isn’t rude or ignorant.

The previous poster is literally telling you her experience.

Your experience is different.

I would go and watch my child, but I would find going out of my way to watch a friend in an amateur choir cringeworthy. Just like I wouldn't watch friends do their sport hobbies, only my children.

That’s rude and ignorant. I’ve been to a couple of friends’ concerts, both very different choirs, both very enjoyable and nice to do something a bit different with my evenings.

In my experience choirs are great fun for those who sing in them but not for anyone who has to sit on a hard seat and listen to them. Presumably, your friends have better things to do like ironing.

It’s literally because it’s a choir, that’s all. Most people find them really boring and if you’ve never asked them to come, they’ll happily not offer or even think to! Ask them. If they say no, they’re busy, I’ll bet it’s because it’s a choir not because they don’t like you. Don’t take it personally. I only ever see choirs at king cross station, and it’s slightly cringe to be honest…or on britains got talent, at which point I do something else… so it’s not you!

I consider myself a good friend and wouldn’t have even thought of going to a friend’s concert. I love that my friends have hobbies but don’t get involved in them, I always think of the hobbies and interests as their thing.