To be annoyed none of my friends have come to my concerts?

So you blackmail them with guilt by saying well I came to your thing so now you came to mine.

Id rather not have people attend over having them come when really they’d rather not.

People need to realise that just because they choose to be passionate about something and want to spend their time doing it that doesn’t mean that their family and friends want to witness or be a part of it.

They can be happy for you from a far and want to hear about it but not want to spend their precious time wasted on it.

It’ll be about the choice of music or venue or whatever. It’s not personal

Same here. It’s obviously feels great for those who do it, but to watch it..no thanks.

I love my friends, I’d definitely ask about their hobby from time to time but no I wouldn’t go to their choir concert

Hmm, this is an interesting one. You wouldn’t ordinarily expect friends to come and watch you do your hobby, but this is different because of the performance aspect. Is it comparable to watching a friend play a sports match? I don’t think I’d do that.

I have been to amateur performances locally but that’s been to support the cause rather than because someone I know was involved. They can be a bit of an endurance test (hard seats, warm glass of not-very-nice wine in the interval, interminable speech by organiser, etc).

Im with most here. I'd hate to be expected to go see/listen to a choir, or watch a marathon, or watch a play..

I write novels. I don't expect my friends, or even my family to read them.

A couple of my best friends sing in choirs. It's never even occurred to me to go to one of their concerts. It's just not something I would want to spend time or money doing.
If they are good friends in other ways, who cares?

Sorry, but it's a bit ego centric to expect people to come to watch you, especially those not really interested in choirs.

My dad is in a choir and to my knowledge none of his friends have ever gone to watch bar 1 (who actually is my mum's friend and husband, and I'm pretty sure they go occasionally more so that my mum has company tbh!) I have watched him perform a few times when it's been at "events" like fun days, public spaces etc but haven't actually ever been to watch any of their concerts.

I have had hobbies where I have competed/performed in the past and have never expected my friends to come and watch, sometimes some did but I think moreso because it was a shared hobby and so they were happy to be there for their own enjoyment, nobody ever came if that wasn't already their idea of a fun day out. I don't think I've ever been to watch my friends do any of their hobbies either tbh (other than the same caveat of it being my idea of fun anyway!)

I would however expect friends to take some sort of interest in my life to some sort of degree, if they ask what you've been up to and you told them about the concert would they ask how it went? Would they wish you luck if they saw you the day before?

I was in 2 choirs for a while. Left both for differing reasons, never invited family never mind friends, I knew it wasn’t their thing

OP choirs are incredible boring to everyone else not participating. I would rather watch paint dry than watch a group of amateurs possibly butchering songs I've never heard of. On top of paying for a ticket for the experience.

I sing in an amateur choir.

honestly, our concerts are for family and friends. We’re not good enough for people who are genuine musicians, it’s about showcasing what we’ve done over the previous years.

I do ask family and friends if they’d like to come but it’s very much on a “I supported you by ensuring you/going to your triathlon etc so please support me” sort of basis.

I can see why you'd feel hurt.

However, from their pov, choirs are often just one big blended sound - kind of the main idea, really - so you can't always distinguish any one voice in the crowd.

How big is the choir? Are you a regular soloist? Do you think they would come if it was just you singing alone or as half of a duet - rayher than in a sea of voices?

Also, is it a choir with auditions/a minimum standard to be accepted? Some choirs have a (very noble) policy of automatically accepting everybody who wants to join - but the result is that you often end up with a few ultra-confident and very loud people who, shall we say, may have a great many talents, but singing is probably not in their personal Top 100!

We can’t all show up for everything that our friends like to do.

Peoples lives are busy enough trying to juggle work, partners, children, aging parents, money worries, hobbies and anything else. People suffer enough over load and mental burnout from trying to juggle their lives that adding in supporting their friends hobbies is just too big of an ask.

Imagine if you have a group of 5 solid friends and each one has a different hobby. Choir singing, marathons, a sport, dancing, etc. Finding the time to attend their events just wouldn’t be possible on top of everything else going on in life.

You do it because you enjoy it, don’t expect everyone else in your life to have to include it in theirs.

It's a very niche interest OP, your voice would be indistinguishable from the rest and some music - especially choral - would bore others to sobs.

I certainly wouldn't expect family or friends to endure something they didn't really like - that'd be incredibly self-centred of me.

Your expectations are too high in my opinion. We have been to see plays friends have directed etc to support them but it’s up to them how they spend their money and time.

I have a family member in a choir - I decline the invite every time.

Did they ask you to come to these sport/drama events? Or did you just choose to go?

Have you asked your friends if they want to come along one time to see you perform?

Ha, I've sung in various choirs over the years (and sometimes go to other friends' choir concerts). I've had various friends come to watch me which I really appreciate, but I wouldn't expect it from anyone - because I'm quite fussy about which concerts I go to.

I once went to a friend's concert and the sopranos were out of tune. I obviously didn't say that to her but wouldn't go again. I'd also never go to Rock Choir etc as it's not my scene.

Do your friends actually like the sort of music you sing? And is your choir genuinely good? (I am resisting the temptation to ask which choir it is)

I don't think being a friend should be a duty.

A good friend wouldn't expect another friend to come and see them in a terrible play.

Personally this isn't how I measure friendship.

They are interested in you as a friend. That's why they spend time with you.

They are not interested in you as an amateur performer in a choir they don't care to go and see