To be annoyed none of my friends have come to my concerts?

Concerts cost a lot to put on, venue hire particularly. Most choirs barely cover their costs tbh. Choir members subscriptions barely cover rehearsal venue hire and paying the MD. Of course they need to charge for tickets!

Not to mention the cost of the orchestra........

I definitely wouldn’t go to every single one (I don’t think DH needs to either) but I would absolutely go to at least 1 (as long as it didn’t cost too much).

I even go to colleagues performances when they’re doing plays on stage, even though I’m really not a fan of plays.

It’s just nice to be supportive.

Have you said that they’re welcome to attend?

It sounds silly but sometimes I can be oblivious/don’t pick up on social cues and I would sometimes assume that if you wanted me there you would explicitly say it.

Well, I’ve heard it too, many times, and was in my 20s (and a confirmed atheist) the first time, but that’s a professional choir singing astonishing music beautifully, not an amateur choir doing jazz hands while singing ‘La Isla Bonita’.

I

This.

OP I understand.

When we lived in London I sang in a few choirs, but they were famous choirs of a really good standard (BBC Symphony Chorus, Crouch End Festival Chorus) and I was always more excited when I knew that a friend would be in the audience.

I mean despite the fact that we sung most of the Proms, I loved it when a friend came.

But you must take on board the fact that lots of people can't bear choral music.

A couple of years ago, DH and I went to a play in our village which a friend had enthusiastically taken part in.

It. Was. Fucking. Awful.
Just dire. But I had to pretend to my friend that we'd enjoyed it.
🤣

Lighthearted and you sound like a nice person OP, but I can’t help feeling for your DH. 😂

Concerts cost a lot to put on, venue hire particularly. Most choirs barely cover their costs tbh. Choir members subscriptions barely cover rehearsal venue hire and paying the MD. Of course they need to charge for tickets!

Having said that, my choir does shorter free performances as part of local events and I feel I have a better chance of friends coming to these, particularly if they're easy to get to /an event they'd go to anyway.

But why, you seem to accept that they're probably not going to enjoy it. Is this some sort of session to prove their friendship? Why? They're clearly not interested. If they did go, they'd be bored or worse and see it the way you saw their terrible plays. What's the point? I'd hate having someone watching me miserably

I think you make a fair point op. I don’t think it would be unreasonable to turn up once? Say at Christmas or something. Especially if you have reciprocated and turned up to their tennis match or charity coffee morning,

The tricky bit is whether you mention it to them. Or not bother?

Or maybe you just try and be a bit more direct on the WhatsApp group and say something like “hi friends, my choir has this concert coming up in September (give them plenty of notice) and I would really love it if one or two of you could be there and maybe we could go out for a drink or a curry afterwards?”

After that, there’s not a lot you can do. I must admit, I’m quite shocked by the number of people on here who find choral music boring. I know the term “choir” covers a wide range of repertoire and competence but to me there’s nothing better than hearing live choral music. Even if the choir is local or very amateur, there’s usually some aspect of the performance that is enjoyable.

I can barely cope with the end of year concert that my kids do, I find it beyond tedious. But then I have adhd and the attention span of a toddler.

But that’s your philosophy of friendship.

I can’t see whether you’ve answered something several pps have asked — do you explicitly invite your friends to your concerts, not just post the date, venue etc on social media. Do you actually say ‘Laura, I’d love it if you came to my concert?’

Parents have to go along and support their children's sport matches, concerts, plays etc whether they are interested or not.

Friends have no such obligation

You choose to go along and support your friends which is kind of you but that's your choice. Your friends don't have to reciprocate.

Why not gift them a ticket? That might encourage them to attend more …..or not, as the case maybe.

You're being to sensitive. I cant think of anything more boring than a choir.

My adult daughter sings in a choir.

We went to watch her in a charity concert last Christmas.

Her choir was... fine. They sang Motown Christmas songs, were quite well-rehearsed, we knew some of the friends she sings with... Whatever. It's for charity

But her choir weren't the only act on the bill. it was when I was sitting watching a man in his 50's singing a solo version of Hushabye Mountain from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang that I realised that what I was sitting through was a junior school Christmas concert, but for adults, where the only joy is in seeing your kid dressed up as an angel.

Friends don't oblige other friends to live through such torture.

Think of all the time wasted. People standing around watching triathlons so that someone will watch their hobby.

Many choirs will only do a big full on concert infrequently.

it’s much more common to do shorter sets at (for example) school fetes, church fetes, village or town carnivals or events.

i’m on two choirs and one of them never does a big concert, in our summer season this year we’ve done our standard 20 min set at a local care home (attendance optional before anyone accuses us of torturing the residents), the social afternoon for seniors run by age concern, the wellbeing event (as part of a singalong event to encourage people to take up hobbies available within the village) and the church fetes.

most people are a lot happier to come to eg a church fetes and listen to 20 mins than a full on concert.

my other choir does do a full on concert but only once a year and the other events are similar to above.

all events for both are always free. One choir is funded by community funding (has a lot of disabled and elderly people in it and is funded under social engagement for elderly people) the other is pay to join tenner a month.

I enjoy singing in a choir but have little interest in watching one. I have never been to one of my Mums concerts or my brothers, admittedly they live far away but i would not make the effort to travel down there just to watch the choir sing. At school my parents only came if i had solo, they were very disappointed that they hadn't been there when my music teacher sprung a solo on me 5 mins before the start of the concert. I think you are expecting a bit much from your friends, we'd all like to think our friends would come along and support us but they probably have busy lives and it may just not be their scene.

Are you very young OP because I can't imagine expecting anyone I know to spend hours coming to watch me perform at something that they won't enjoy. By the time most people are adults they have so little free time they're just not going to mess about ruining a rare bit of time off watching something that's boring. And where they're not actually spending quality time with the friend.

Two hours watching the performance plus time getting there and getting ready and organizing and paying childcare. And then my whole day is stopped because I'm doing that in the evening. No way.

When I was a teen early twenty something. Maybe.

But that’s not an amateur choir.

I could, Snooker, Darts, Wimbledon

What if they came to see you perform and thought you and the soprano next to you were flat?