Mum to a 2.5 year old…are these feelings normal?

When he was a baby obviously the needs were even greater but I was fine with that as I was in charge of the situation and just powered through.

This is something a lot of people struggle with. This specific bit of parenting (them having their own agenda and you no longer being in control) is something that only gets worse as they get older and have more say and more autonomy (although they need you less of course).

For this there is no other option than to try and calm any controlling instincts. That's one that you need to work on at a personality level. Do it now and it'll make what's coming easier.

Often when they ask the same question over and over they're trying to make conversation, but don't yet have the skills. You need to control the conversation for them, so for example:

What are you doing?

I'm driving the car home so we can go and have lunch.

What are you doing?

What do you think I'm doing?

Driving the car

Yes, that right I'm driving the car home so we can have lunch.

Then add in some new information. For example:

Do you know what I did when you were at nursery...I went to see Aunty Janet. She told me that.....etc etc.

When they get stuck in the question loop, they can't get themselves out. You need to teach them how to have a conversation, by not allowing the loop to happen. DO NOT answer the same question over and over (they will sometimes need it twice, but no more), always move the conversation on somewhere else.

They love you
You are their whole world
Lean in to it and enjoy that someone at this moment in time wants to know all about what you are doing
Talk through your driving - it teaches them
“so we need to turn left, let’s look in the mirrors check for cars behind and cyclists - indicate so other road users know I am intending to turn”

ours used to “help” with washing up - one safe item at a time (mum did glass and sharp utensils) it took hours, they were wet, the chair they were standing on was wet, the floor the chair was standing on was wet, but they were happy thought they had helped they loved the time together I loved the time together

ours are teenagers now and it was known when we had babies, and long before, you only get peace, when they are young and can move about and talk, when they are asleep until they get a bit older and start independent play

our eldest was 41/2 ish when he first went upstairs to play on his own “I felt bereft” ridiculous I know
younger brother was earlier because he had his brother - then they played together

Absolutely this!

Toddlers are cute, but also annoying and relentless.

I hate the toddler and early years I wish I could skip ages 1-5 and just have a 5yo. It’s soul destroying

Yes it's gruelling and mentally and emotionally challenging this is why many out source it.

OP you need to try and break up the day , soft play , toddler groups anything that gives you a few moments of peace.
I hated some paid for activities where I expected a few moments break and a patronising helper would be like this is for you to interact and have quality time with your child.
I had quality time all day and night 24/7

OP it does get easier maybe start a thread of help to structure the day .
I was a sahm with no parental help it was tough but ideas on here really helped

Exactly this!

Yes, very normal, I’d say. I think there is an assumption that children get easier as they get older. They sleep better and they may not need nappies changed, but their needs are greater and more complex.

Mine are 7 & 12 and I fairly regularly have to tell them to give me some space. I can’t do constant talking or asking for things or arguing with each other about something inane. It’s the emotional needs and these only get bigger as they grow. My 12 year old is more work than my 7 year old and they are both more work than when they were 2.

That said, in the car for example, it’s fine to say mummy is tired right now and doesn’t feel like chatting, but let’s listen to music or look out the window and try to find a red car (or whatever). It models for them setting a healthy boundary.

Do you put music on for him in the car to reduce the questions? I’d put nursery rhymes on and we’d sing along.
Plus, it’s ok to say no more questions when you’ve had enough, or sometimes I’d say one more question then that’s it.

I'm sad to say I feel the same alot of the time, I honestly don't think most people are actually cut out to be parents

I always said I would answer any questions. I love my 3 year old to learn and question things. A few months ago I was fine answering 20 questions in a row, they were inquisitive and she was learning. Fast forward and now she's asking "what are you doing", "why have we stopped driving" 30 times in a row. It's breaking me. Yesterday I was tidying up and she asked 20 times what I was doing with the same answer every time. I'm ashamed to say I'm starting to snap and get frustrated. You are not alone xx

I loved that age but I struggled with the newborn stage, everyone finds different bits harder or less enjoyable I think. Things will change again soon, you aren’t doing anything wrong.

Parenting can be hard. I remember this and I know you don’t want to hear it but I remember it so fondly. Currently have two older teens with a lot of problems. I have so little control now. The control just gets less.
I get it though

You are normal. DS is also normal.

I have a 4.5 DD and I have the same frustrations. So following for advice. It’s pretty relentless