Mum to a 2.5 year old…are these feelings normal?

Oh, you sound like me! As does the OP, and many others on this thread...
I have 4 year old twins and they are relentless, relentless. I love them so much, but sometimes I feel like I've given them every last shred of sanity, patience and energy that I have. And it's still nowhere near enough. I snap at them often, and I hate myself for it. It's hard.

No one enjoys getting their toddler dressed and getting out of the house in time. Your feelings are completely normal and valid. I think what people mean is try and enjoy the good moments. Everyone knows how difficult it is.

Oh my god, this is so normal! Toddlers are HARD WORK! I found six until ten the golden years - they’re good company, helpful but not yet hormonal and stroppy. You’ll get through it xxxx

My mum still feels like that about me 😂She has tried everything possible to get me to talk less. I have tried so hard, I put in strategies, they don’t work. I think because she is so open about it it has made me extremely socially anxious, whilst I seem confident I worry all the time about having spoken too much or said the wrong thing. My children are the same except they are self confident, I have always enjoyed their vocal exuberance. However if I found the why why why too much I used to suggest they rang a grandparent. I could have a cup of tea and gather my thoughts. Would he do that?

I feel this. I find music helps. Sometimes I think they try to fill the silence with questions.

I don't mean nursery rhymes either. Put something on that you like.

Of course they are. Parenting is a mix of joy, frustration, boredom, love, hatred, delight, drudgery and so on. Each ‘phase’ and age brings out different issues struggles and growth. My kids are now 20 and 21. It’s still a mix of the above (not boring though - not since they started school).

I don’t miss it!

DS is so much lovelier and funnier and nicer at four and a half than at two and a half. I would even say he’s cuter now (he was bald at 2 and looked like a mini Phil Mitchell.)

My little DD is two and I adore her of course but I do not adore this stage and I cannot wait for her to turn three. She isn’t bald but does have a strange thing going on with her fringe. They are both beautiful to me and always will be of course. But I don’t miss age 2 and I resent MN telling me I will, tbh.

Being a parent is so hard, harder for some more than others. I'd suggest looking back at old pictures and videos because time really does fly and you will miss it one day. My DC is almost 4 and I've honestly struggled so much, but I look back and also think how also time has flown by, even though it didn't seem like it at the time. What is that saying ... "the days are long, but the years are short" 💗

A typical reading session with DS (reading Hairy maclary. Various dogs getting stuck in pursuit of a bone 🦴)

’mummy how will he get out?’
’his owner will get him!’
<turn the page>
’mummy how will he get out?’
’remember what I said before?’
’his owner will get him!’
’that’s right.’
’but mummy how will he get out?’

arrghhhhhh

Yeah I have to agree with this. And I say that as a mum to a VERY vocal and inquisitive three year old who asks about 1500 questions in any one day. Yes it can be annoying sometimes and it’s totally fine to say ‘why don’t you look that up in your own head’ or ‘let’s do two more questions then it’s time to sleep’.

And we all snap sometimes but to wish an entire developmental stage away is a bit sad, as is to ‘dread’ reading with them because of the questions.

also remember that they haven’t developed the ability to converse properly they way they see adults do. So when they ask the same question over and over, or when they ask something they know the answer to they are trying to establish a back and forth question the way they see adults do, they just really haven’t mastered the technique. They’re learning from you, even if it doesn’t feel like it.

Absolutely it is but that doesn’t mean that no one can ever get ground down by the other extreme.

I know that if you posted about what you’ve just said 90% of responses would be compassionate and kind. But using that situation to make someone else feel bad isn’t on.

This drives me potty as well. My four and a half year old has got better though but still asks me twenty times in as many minutes why we’ve stopped.

I used to love reading with him but I dread it now because of the questions!

I was going to reply that I've got an almost 3 year old who has zero words. What I wouldn't give to hear mommy never mind a question. Honestly be grateful they're communicating with you, it's torture the other way

If OP is anything like me, there is plenty going on through the day but it’s still endless questions and battles.

My 2.5 wants me to join in with play when we go to play groups or soft play, etc. he has no issues with independent play, he does it at home, it just can’t be assumed going out to places will give you a break. I’m just pointing out it’s not necessarily a case of OP sitting indoors waiting for the day to pass by.

Not even relevant.

This is really helpful thank you.

It's relentless... and I don't believe anyone who has actually made it through the toddler stages hasn't felt the same at some point. (cue a throng of posters insisting that every minute is a delight😁)
But it does pass (I had 4 children aged 5 and under) and they are flexing their independence muscles and thinking skills all the while.

It's ok to feel frustrated. And it's ok to sometimes go ENOUGH! and pick up the arguing, repetitive little control freaks and just get on with what needs doing, now and again without giving options, or giving long explanations.
And sometimes it's ok to just not answer the same question for the 20th time !

Mine are now adults and I'm doing it all over again with my grandchildren as I'm Granny care. I think I have more patience this time round but even so , sometimes it has to be 'Shoes ON, stop talking!' when we have to get to Nursery on time! (Then again I also work in education so I have a 'teacher's voice' when really needed!)

It gets a bit easier for a few years... then they become teens and return to some caveman like status for a while😂

I have teens and I definitely don't wish I could go back to the toddler stage! It was so hard.

This is such a refreshing post. I feel the same! My son is 4 and whilst we have some lovely, lovely times that I cherish, the unpredictability of his moods etc can make things tricky, I never know when he’ll refuse to do something and have a meltdown over it. And he asks me questions constantly too. It’s exhausting and lovely all rolled into one, and it’s okay to acknowledge that!
i also have a 6 year old, and although we still have a lot of questions, she is at a more predictable/ amenable age and will do things “just because” rather than needing coaxing, bribes, structure etc. enjoying this stage before it all flips back again I’m sure!!

Aww man im really sorry for you, that sounds so hard. All the same I don’t think it’s fair or relevant to put that post on here, both things can be true that you have a hard time and so does OP for different reasons x

Give over.

Your situation being difficult doesn't mean someone else can't complain about their difficult situation.

Spare a thought for those who have children who are non verbal and would give anything for their child to communicate with them. Remember your privilege.

My daughter is 3 in December and I felt bad yesterday because I snapped at her. She just bosses me about all the time! We were rushing to get out the house but she wanted to put the dogs lead and harness on. But she kept fucking about doing other stuff. Every time I picked up the dog harness she’d shout ‘no mummy I want to do it!!’ So I snapped and went ‘well bloody DO it then!’ God it’s relentless. Think she’s struggling because she’s working out her independence and has all these opinions but at the end of the day is only 2. I miss the snuggly newborn stage.

I'm an autistic introvert with ADHD so I really struggled with this stage with both my kids. Those pictures of tiny houses on remote islands with no other inhabitants became my idea of heaven.

Totally normal to feel this way. We evolved to live in groups with dozens of other adults and children who would help entertain your child most of the time. Now we're expected to be completely alone with them and feel happy about it!