Page 15 | to not understand Christians who have sex/live together before marriage then marry in church?

onlytwo · 2025-07-05T06:59:39+00:00

Posting here because I am genuinely confused and not trying to offend anyone. I keep seeing couples who describe themselves as Christians who have been living together for years, sometimes with kids, then they get married in church with all the religious vows etc. I thought one of the key Christian teachings is no sex before marriage yet it seems really common that people ignore that part but still have a big church wedding. AIBU to think it is hypocritical?

Madcatdudette · 05/07/2025 17:22

onlytwo · 05/07/2025 16:36

Of course I don’t live exactly like someone from 2000 years ago, and I don’t think anyone does. But I think there’s a difference between cultural practices that naturally change over time, like clothing or technology, and moral or ethical teachings that many believe are meant to be timeless.

My question is really about how people decide which parts of their faith’s teachings are still relevant and which they feel can be adapted or set aside. How do we know if we’re staying true to core beliefs or just changing things to suit what’s easier or more popular today?

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So if society has moved with the times why do you not think religion should too?
Core beliefs 2k years ago do not align with modern society.
Why, in a day and age that being gay is acceptable, should a religious group still adhere to ideas that belong in medieval times?
I think morality comes from being a good person. Not what is written in any religious book.

Original poster

onlytwo · 05/07/2025 17:21

WhenYouSayNothingAtAll · 05/07/2025 17:16

@onlytwowhere does Jesus specifically say that pre marital sex is a sin ? There is a Greek word for it “porneia” that is translated as fornication (which has it’s origins in latin and it referred to sex with prostitutes or illicit sex ) or sexual immorality.

The no premarital sex is an issue of interpretation, translation , word development and most importantly, human influence.

You’re right that the Greek word porneia is often translated as “fornication” or “sexual immorality,” and it can cover a range of illicit sexual behaviours. But in the context of Jewish and early Christian teaching, porneia definitely included premarital sex, not just prostitution or adultery.

For example, Jesus says in Matthew 15:19 that porneia (sexual immorality) comes from the heart and defiles a person, and in Matthew 19:4-6, he points back to Genesis and affirms that sexual union is meant for marriage, where two become “one flesh.”

So while Jesus doesn’t explicitly say “premarital sex is a sin” in modern English words, the moral teaching he affirms and the way porneia was understood in his time clearly prohibits sex outside marriage. Early Christians and Jewish tradition both interpreted porneia to forbid premarital sex.

That’s why, even if the specific wording has changed through translations, the consistent understanding of Christian teaching for nearly 2,000 years has been that premarital sex is forbidden.

OP posts:

Ontheedgeofit · 05/07/2025 17:19

WhenYouSayNothingAtAll · 05/07/2025 17:16

@onlytwowhere does Jesus specifically say that pre marital sex is a sin ? There is a Greek word for it “porneia” that is translated as fornication (which has it’s origins in latin and it referred to sex with prostitutes or illicit sex ) or sexual immorality.

The no premarital sex is an issue of interpretation, translation , word development and most importantly, human influence.

Isn’t this exactly what we are saying though? That interpretations have crept in to allow for leniency in modern times.

There certainly was a time in history where there would have been no room for interpretation and perhaps in biblical times the act of sex with your life partner would equal marriage but I’m not sure a women would have left her parental home to live with a man not considered her ‘husband’…

Morningsleepin · 05/07/2025 17:19

I was brought up a Christian and I never understood why the opinion of a Roman like St. Paul was more important than the teachings of Christ

nomas · 05/07/2025 17:17

NoisyGoldMember · 05/07/2025 17:14

Of course it is, pretty ridiculous to say otherwise or you wouldn’t have made such a fuss to try and justify it. Wait all you want, I’m not apologising. Very concerning how controlling you are. Yikes.

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🤣

I think you must be winding me up, no one can be this obtuse.

So people you agree with can swear but I can’t quote them? Ok. 😂

WhenYouSayNothingAtAll · 05/07/2025 17:16

@onlytwowhere does Jesus specifically say that pre marital sex is a sin ? There is a Greek word for it “porneia” that is translated as fornication (which has it’s origins in latin and it referred to sex with prostitutes or illicit sex ) or sexual immorality.

The no premarital sex is an issue of interpretation, translation , word development and most importantly, human influence.

Okiedokie123 · 05/07/2025 17:15

Maray1967 · 05/07/2025 08:03

I’ve attended church all my life and I can assure you that I have never heard a sermon about no sex before marriage.

I am appalled if you have studied Christianity in school as part of RS and have been taught that no sex before marriage is a ‘key teaching’. Where on earth have you got this from?

Ummm the bible? Maybe have a read of it.

Ive listened to quite a lot of sermons re sex within and not before marriage. It was a key feature of our young peoples groups when I was a teen too.

nomas · 05/07/2025 17:15

NoisyGoldMember · 05/07/2025 17:04

Yes swearing is vulgar. You’re assuming I agree with those posters, because I have a different opinion to you and Op. I presented many points to op, It’s called being objective.

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But you do agree with @PlumLemur . And not only did you not call her out on her swearing, here is a screenshot of you agreeing with her after her post in which she swore.

Double standards much?

to not understand Christians who have sex/live together before marriage then marry in church?

NoisyGoldMember · 05/07/2025 17:14

nomas · 05/07/2025 17:07

Quoting a poster who swore is not swearing. I can’t admit to something I didn’t do that. And you can’t post screenshots because you’re keep lying.

And you still haven’t explained why you didn’t call out the people who swore for swearing, and instead attacked me for quoting them.

Still waiting…

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Of course it is, pretty ridiculous to say otherwise or you wouldn’t have made such a fuss to try and justify it. Wait all you want, I’m not apologising. Very concerning how controlling you are. Yikes.

Original poster

onlytwo · 05/07/2025 17:11

WhenYouSayNothingAtAll · 05/07/2025 17:08

Why is ok for some to pick and choose and not others?

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I think the key difference many Christians point to is whether a teaching is considered ceremonial (laws given specifically to ancient Israel, like dietary restrictions) or moral (principles about how to live that are meant to apply to everyone, everywhere, for all time).

OP posts:

Madcatdudette · 05/07/2025 17:10

NoisyGoldMember · 05/07/2025 16:37

They can’t have sex. But I think many people are getting confused as you can be married and have a wife and still be vicar, which is only allowed in COE unlike the RC church.

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Ah yes of course, my apologies.

WhenYouSayNothingAtAll · 05/07/2025 17:08

onlytwo · 05/07/2025 16:34

I understand what you’re saying, and it’s true that not all Christians follow every traditional rule. But I think there’s a difference between Old Testament ceremonial laws, like not eating shellfish (which many Christians believe were specific to ancient Israel and don’t apply to Christians today), and moral teachings in the New Testament, like those about sexual behaviour which many churches still teach as relevant.

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Why is ok for some to pick and choose and not others?

nomas · 05/07/2025 17:07

NoisyGoldMember · 05/07/2025 17:06

You did swear, you admitted that. Even if you “quoted” another poster you still swore.

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Quoting a poster who swore is not swearing. I can’t admit to something I didn’t do that. And you can’t post screenshots because you’re keep lying.

And you still haven’t explained why you didn’t call out the people who swore for swearing, and instead attacked me for quoting them.

Still waiting…

NoisyGoldMember · 05/07/2025 17:06

nomas · 05/07/2025 17:02

Did you not think you were being aggressive when you were repeatedly lying that I swore?

I agree it is time for you to leave the thread though. Go well.

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You did swear, you admitted that. Even if you “quoted” another poster you still swore.

NoisyGoldMember · 05/07/2025 17:04

nomas · 05/07/2025 16:55

You can’t post screenshots because you’re lying.

You’re basically saying it’s fine for people you agree with to say the word ‘fuck’ but if someone you disagree with quotes that person saying ‘fuck’, then they are ‘vulgar’.

And THAT, is the definition of hypocrisy.

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Yes swearing is vulgar. You’re assuming I agree with those posters, because I have a different opinion to you and Op. I presented many points to op, It’s called being objective.

nomas · 05/07/2025 17:02

NoisyGoldMember · 05/07/2025 17:00

Maybe time to leave the thread, it’s clearly getting a bit too much. You’re coming across rather aggressive. It seems you lack the comprehension to understand how different Christians interpret the bible, something you’ll have to figure out on yourself. I’m not a Christian why on earth would I personally need to interpret scripture? I’m not narrow minded that I can’t understand that different groups will view the bible differently.

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Did you not think you were being aggressive when you were repeatedly lying that I swore?

I agree it is time for you to leave the thread though. Go well.

godmum56 · 05/07/2025 17:01

again @onlytwo Why do you care?

NoisyGoldMember · 05/07/2025 17:00

nomas · 05/07/2025 16:50

Yes, I agree you are passive aggressive.

I’m not surprised you can’t interpret scripture, given you can’t even work out in your head who posted what.

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Maybe time to leave the thread, it’s clearly getting a bit too much. You’re coming across rather aggressive. It seems you lack the comprehension to understand how different Christians interpret the bible, something you’ll have to figure out on yourself. I’m not a Christian why on earth would I personally need to interpret scripture? I’m not narrow minded that I can’t understand that different groups will view the bible differently.

Original poster

onlytwo · 05/07/2025 16:59

AdoraBell · 05/07/2025 16:56

DH’s first wife is a strict Catholic. No sex before they married, but once they married she had sex with lots of husbands. After their divorce all of her partners left their wives for her.

That is highly relevant to this discussion, thank you.

OP posts:

AdoraBell · 05/07/2025 16:56

DH’s first wife is a strict Catholic. No sex before they married, but once they married she had sex with lots of husbands. After their divorce all of her partners left their wives for her.

nomas · 05/07/2025 16:55

NoisyGoldMember · 05/07/2025 16:52

I don’t need post screenshots, everyone can see the thread. I don’t need to apologise either, I know passive aggressive comments when I see it.

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You can’t post screenshots because you’re lying.

You’re basically saying it’s fine for people you agree with to say the word ‘fuck’ but if someone you disagree with quotes that person saying ‘fuck’, then they are ‘vulgar’.

And THAT, is the definition of hypocrisy.

NoisyGoldMember · 05/07/2025 16:52

nomas · 05/07/2025 16:49

Once again, I haven’t sworn at anyone. I quoted @PlumLemur and @L0bstersLass who both swore.

If you have any screenshots of me swearing (not quoting), then do post them.

Otherwise I expect you to take responsibility and apologise to me for lying and to call out @PlumLemur and @L0bstersLass for swearing, since you were the one who raised swearing as an issue.

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I don’t need post screenshots, everyone can see the thread. I don’t need to apologise either, I know passive aggressive comments when I see it.

Noodles1234 · 05/07/2025 16:52

That’s quite an ancient view of Christianity. All walks of life including religion have traditional views that over time have been modified. This being one of them. Most religions have orthodox and modern themes, think gender, alcohol, Same sex marriages, divorce and marrying again after divorce.

nomas · 05/07/2025 16:50

NoisyGoldMember · 05/07/2025 16:49

I‘m not lying. I stand by what I said. You chose to engage first, it’s passive aggressive.

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Yes, I agree you are passive aggressive.

I’m not surprised you can’t interpret scripture, given you can’t even work out in your head who posted what.

NoisyGoldMember · 05/07/2025 16:49

nomas · 05/07/2025 16:42

Seriously, what are you getting out of lying? I’ve posted a screenshot and you’re still lying.

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I‘m not lying. I stand by what I said. You chose to engage first, it’s passive aggressive.