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AIBU?

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Fed up

31 replies

Greaseisthewordd · 04/07/2025 18:16

So I have been asking my ex to do every other weekend and he won’t do it because it will affect his social life. He randomly puts dates into the joint calendar which suit him, he is going away for the weekend on such a date and he told me if I don’t allow the kids to go then he will not pick them up on the day he is supposed to as he will be away (it’s a planned thing with her new gf and her dc). I would be willing to agree to this but he literally does nothing to help me. The fact that he said he wouldn’t pick his kids up on his day because he will be away infuriated me, he is taking them because he has to do it, not because he wants to. After I told him no he then rang my daughter and asked her, he shouldn’t have done that.

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 04/07/2025 18:26

It sounds as though this needs to be formalised through the courts.

Greaseisthewordd · 04/07/2025 18:25

MuckFusk · 04/07/2025 18:22

The less the kids see of this selfish cunt the better if you ask me.
Is the custody schedule court ordered? If so then he has to stick to it and needs a good reason to change it, not just for the sake of his social convenience. If it's not court ordered then maybe that's what you need.

Edited

It isn’t court ordered. He won’t even agree to one Friday a month as he is busy. The fact that the trip is planned anyway and he won’t be picking the kids up on his day just made me realise what a selfish person he is.

OP posts:
Greaseisthewordd · 04/07/2025 18:24

NotAntisocialJustSelectivelySocial · 04/07/2025 18:20

Why are the kids not allowed to go?
It sounds like you are using them to punish him.
It’s the kids that are then missing out. They’ll eventually figure out he’s a shit father and it will all come back to bite him on the arse at some point.

Because it is always on his terms which isn’t fair on them.

OP posts:
MuckFusk · 04/07/2025 18:22

Greaseisthewordd · 04/07/2025 18:16

So I have been asking my ex to do every other weekend and he won’t do it because it will affect his social life. He randomly puts dates into the joint calendar which suit him, he is going away for the weekend on such a date and he told me if I don’t allow the kids to go then he will not pick them up on the day he is supposed to as he will be away (it’s a planned thing with her new gf and her dc). I would be willing to agree to this but he literally does nothing to help me. The fact that he said he wouldn’t pick his kids up on his day because he will be away infuriated me, he is taking them because he has to do it, not because he wants to. After I told him no he then rang my daughter and asked her, he shouldn’t have done that.

The less the kids see of this selfish cunt the better if you ask me.
Is the custody schedule court ordered? If so then he has to stick to it and needs a good reason to change it, not just for the sake of his social convenience. If it's not court ordered then maybe that's what you need.

NotAntisocialJustSelectivelySocial · 04/07/2025 18:20

Why are the kids not allowed to go?
It sounds like you are using them to punish him.
It’s the kids that are then missing out. They’ll eventually figure out he’s a shit father and it will all come back to bite him on the arse at some point.

Gurgletum · 04/07/2025 18:18

Why would you want to subject your children to spending time with some who doesn’t give a damn about them?

how old are the children in question?