That no one said I look nice?

Some people don't like to comment on other people's appearance, even to say something nice. But also I think I have come to realise that people don't even take that much notice of what others look like.
I have recently lost over a stone no one except me has noticed!

Your husband might have felt commenting wasn’t the right thing to do since your mental health has been bad - it would draw attention to the fact you hadn’t been caring. It’s a 50:50 thing OP, but well done for taking care of yourself c

Some people react with embarrassment or defensiveness to compliments about their appearance, so I can see why a lot of people just don't go there.

Your DH is another matter though. He really should have noticed and said something nice to you. I think it would be reasonable to (calmly) tell him "I made a real effort to look nice today, and the fact that you didn't seem to notice made me feel a bit sad actually". Maybe he finds you equally beautiful whether you're in a nice dress with full make up or bare faced and in old leggings, OP and that's why he said nothing! But it would still be helpful for him to know that an occasional compliment would mean a lot to you.

Maybe you didn't look that bad before OP and it wasn't as big as deal for everyone else as it was for you.

I think people are cautious about commenting on other people’s looks as it can come across badly even when it’s well intentioned. If people said to you that you looked nice now they might worry that that would imply that they didn’t think you looked nice before.

Please don’t be downhearted, OP, and don’t let it stop you doing what makes you feel great. I can understand why it upset you (I’ve lost loads of weight and was hoping for a few compliments) but people are much more reluctant to make comments on others’ appearance nowadays, for worry they’ll put their foot in it.

Good on you for feeling better about yourself. X

I would not comment on someone suddenly looking nicer because I feel it implies judgement on how they are otherwise either.
Doesn't mean I wouldn't think you look nice!

Lovely post. Wholeheartedly agree. Plus bejewelled is a top song

Seriously OP don’t take it personally or see it as people not noticing. A mum in my child’s class has just lost loads of weight, really loads. She looks great. But I would never say anything, because I would never want the suggestion to be that she didn’t look good before the weight loss.

Well done on making the effort to feel better for yourself!

Nobody ever says I look nice either tbh, even though I compliment others. I don't expect it back just because I've said it but it would be nice occasionally if someone said anything!

I actually ask my oh “what do you think?” Otherwise they don’t even notice most of the time.

This! And I often avoid complimenting people because I worry about it somehow being taken the wrong way. I’m not sure if ever not enjoyed a compliment though. I must try and be more confident in complimenting.

I’m certain OP that people’s worry of offending has been the problem. It’s a bit shit your husband didn’t compliment you though. I bet you looked fabulous!

I can make the whole place shimmer✨

I’d be hesitant comment on anyone’s appearance. It’s a minefield. What if they think I’m saying usually they look shit? What if I say “you look well” they think I mean they’ve put on weight? What if they’ve been to a job interview they don’t want to tempt fate by taking a
bout? What if they’re having an affair??? Yes I’m an over thinker so may well think someone looks nice but unless we’re v close I’m not mentioning it.

This. I would be afraid of upsetting you.

But good for you! Do it for you, not anyone else.

Maybe they thought that commenting on how nice you look today could be construed as meaning that normally you normally don't look good. They will be used to not commenting on your appearance as it must have been obvious that you were going through a hard time and they probably just felt awkward and didn't know what to do or say.

That does sound disappointing, especially your own husband but people may have noticed and not wanted to say anything. I would usually only say “you look great” to a friend rather than an acquaintance at the school gates or colleague (unless they were also a friend). The main thing is that YOU felt like you looked good because you’d made an effort, so try and maintain that confidence.

I reckon a lot noticed but often people are wary about commenting on appearance.

I sometimes comment on clothes or jewellery because it’s something the person chose so it’s complimenting their taste if you say the dress is pretty or something. I hope I’m not bothering people by doing that, I might stop.

Same here. I really like that type of compliment because as you it's a compliment the person's good taste.

Oh that's sad he didn't say anything though when he knew you were literally in the hairdressers, and had infact driven you there! I can understand not noticing a subtle change, but something like that would bother me. I'd have to say, "Well..." 🤔

Good on you for making a change for yourself op. I think
its unfair of you to expect this from other people though. They might not know what to say/say the wrong thing

If you've been looking a bit sorry for yourself for a while, people simply won't have commented because they won't have wanted to say anything that drew attention to how you looked previously. People do know that the repeated wearing of the same drab outfit is probably MH related. I suppose a massive, excessively strong empath might have recognised that you'd like a compliment, but I think most people out of politeness would have wanted you to think they hadn't noticed, in a good way, that you have had this change of approach. I actually think it is much nicer and kinder that they just took the change in their stride.

As to your husband, is it something he did previously? Mine doesn't - he simply doesn't notice. I got him to drive me to the hairdresser recently, so he knew exactly where I was...I came out hours later with 5 inches lopped off, a different colour, and he absolutely didn't notice. Eventually - a day later, mind - he said "oh, your hair isn't as stripey as it was at the old salon". What the hell should I do with that? Nothing at all. And, to be fair, I barely notice when he's been to the barber. In fact, I never notice - I'm worse than him.

So my take is that people were being kind and nice, and supportive in their silence. And you can't rely on a husband for "noticing things", but then you can't necessarily rely on a wife either 😆

I sometimes comment on clothes or jewellery because it’s something the person chose so it’s complimenting their taste if you say the dress is pretty or something. I hope I’m not bothering people by doing that, I might stop.

Would never say anything about weight, hair or makeup because that’s different somehow. If someone suddenly looked much better than usual I’d only say something if they brought it up first, because that’s kind of opening up the topic.

I never get any compliments unless I wear a Liverpool top (did today! I live abroad so there’s not that many LFC fans around) then I occasionally get a thumbs up and you’ll never walk alone.

Did your kids notice? I would try not to put too much emphasis on what others say or think. YOU felt good. That’s why you do it. People make first impressions and judgments without even knowing it, so the fact you turned up presentable and clean will have given everyone you saw a good impression whether they said so or not. Also, would you just go up to someone and compliment them at school? People may be shy to speak their minds

or maybe being a partner to someone going through depression took a toll on him too 😒