That no one said I look nice?

Oh my gosh I wouldn't have even realised if you hadn't have commented 🙈 thank you! X

Oh my gosh I made a separate post but posted it on your thread somehow. I'm so sorry. I don't even know how I've done this 😂 I've never used the app before and I'm not very familiar with it. Thanks for letting me know Anotherbrickin!

OP I completely understand you feel deflated after putting so much effort in but I agree with many other that people don't notice what we do about ourselves. As an example I saw my friend today. She's feeling low and has had very minimal sleep for days on end because of her new baby. She wasn't as glam as I sometimes see her but to me she's still my beautiful vibrant friend. I can't remember if she had makeup on today. But I remember our chats and our laughs. I definitely agree that our acceptance of ourselves should come from us. Not others. Though that is something I myself an still working on. It's not easy. I so glad you're feeling more yourself. Let this be the start of a journey to love yourself, the others will follow, and if they ever don't, it won't matter ❤️ x

Sorry I don’t mean this to come across rude but people are not focused on you. Are you close to these people or are they more mums your speak to on the school run because of the kids?

Personally I wouldn’t comment on anybody’s appearance unless I knew them very well

Well done on turning yourself around for your kids though!

Well done on turning a corner. When I go out looking good I rarely get a look or comment but I feel good looking good :-)

I bet you looked fab, and you say you felt good about yourself, which is THE most important thing.

Bugger other people.

i bet you looked great, and I hope you felt great and are rightly proud of yourself.

maybe people were nervous of making a thing of saying, worried it would be perceived as them really noticing a change, thus hinting you don’t normally look nice IYSWIM

I am kind and supportive and a good listener but I don’t comment on people’s appearance and absolutely NEVER acknowledge if they’ve lost weight (because I wouldn’t comment if they’ve gained weight)

This. I think it's a case of can't do right for doing wrong.

This is really sad for a number of reasons. Your husband should have commented. However, when I’ve made an effort I KNOW I look amazing so don’t need anybody to tell me and assume they’re intimidated 😂

This does not belong here, just like the ducks in the toilet, the yellow ones are ok but there is a spotty one and it’s out of place.

Does anyone have a household where one partner earns over the 60000 threshold and one earns less than 10000? Because of this we have to pay back a percentage of child benefit. Up until now we've never claimed but things are potentially going to get tight soon. I work 2 days a week and contribute towards bills but with the cost of nursery fees and breakfast and after school clubs it's not feesable to work more until they're both at school. My other half is dreading the idea of filling out forms etc and paying chunks back so he doesn't see it as an option but if I can get my head around the process to pay the percentage back so we can have that little bit of help until they're both at school and I can work full time I really want to do it. Can anyone explain the process of claiming and paying back to me please? I've never claimed any sort of benefit so I'm really unsure how it all works. Thanks in advance.

This exact thing happened to me. Three years in leggings and supermarket t shirts and then I lost two stone and stepped into the dress I had been waiting to wear. I’d had it hanging on the outside of my wardrobe as encouragement to be successful on my diet and it took me a year. Dress a perfect fit, legs shaved, fresh make up and hair properly styled and… absolutely nothing. No comment from anyone at all.

I took several things from this though. Either no one cares what you look like, or no one is looking. Both quite liberating options. So I dress to make myself happy, sometimes I look gorgeous and sometimes hideous but as the above must be true I don’t care anymore!

I bet you looked great. How did you feel just before you went out of the door? That’s what matters. Value yourself, take care of yourself for you not other people’s approval.

You actually sound like a nice and kind person through your post

It’s impossible for others to know that you wanted compliments.

This.

Sorry OP but its a minefield

If someone says you look nice, its an implicit acknowledgement that perhaps you were neglecting your self care before.

If no one says you look nice, it feels like you're not acknowledged.

No win situation.

Just make sure you did it for you and that you were satisfied and happy with how you turned out.

I tend not to comment on people that appear to have suddenly made more effort as it’s like telling them they looked like shit before.

I’m sorry, @FeelingLowf
Here’s the thing - I spent my entire life hearing people tell me how beautiful I was.
I was a national beauty queen in the US back when those were a thing.
Who gives a rat’s ass about that?
Empathy matters. Kindness. Charity. Good deeds.
I ran into a girl I knew from school who I hadn’t seen in 40 years, maybe longer.
She said, “I remember you…” And I froze - was she about to say something awful?
”I remember you - you were the only senior girl who waa nice to me.”
And that is far more important to me than any outfit I ever had on.
Are you up to volunteering somewhere? If you reach out with kindness to people, the rewards you’ll receive in return are far greater than some compliments on your outfits.
I know this. I promise you this.
Becauae I’ve volunteered. I’ve lived it.
You looked absolutely stunning.
I’m always around if you need a friend. ❤️

Well done. It’s a huge step and I bet you looked lovely.

I would have been a bit upset too 💐

I don't think it's reasonable to expect comments on your appearance, apart from perhaps from your husband. Receiving a compliment is a surprise and pleasure, not something you earn each time you dress up.

You've missed the point. Posters are saying they do make that type of comment but they don't make comments about physical appearance.

As is so often the case, the first reply nails it…

Anyway you know you made an effort and looked nice so hold on to that. You are doing the right thing.

You did look good.

But you should be doing this for yourself and not for the reactions from others.

Carry on.

But don't be waiting for others to comments.

It's good if they do but not the be all or end off.

Maybe people thought you looked nice but didn’t get the chance to say it.

Someone said to me recently, You looked really nice the other day in that outfit. They didn’t say it at the time!