That no one said I look nice?

It's not true that nobody notices OP is it?

Well done for making the effort, I really wouldn't worry about comments from other mums. I think it just goes to show how little notice anyone really takes of us outside of our family. They are the only people I care about. Keep doing it for yourself, other school mums are really not important to your life. X

Well done for making the effort, I really wouldn't worry about comments from other mums. I think it just goes to show how little notice anyone really takes of us outside of our family. They are the only people I care about. Keep doing it for yourself, other school mums are really not important to your life. X

You did deserve to be recognised for the work you put in to look nice. I’m happy for you that you felt good. Remember that feeling and how good it made you feel to help you carry on in the future.
As for the people who didn’t say anything - people are self absorbed and only care about what is going on in their own lives. So, no they didn’t notice enough to say anything to you but I’m sure it will come to mind when you’re not there. A snapshot will come into their mind and they will see the effort you’ve put in. As you’re not there it will never be mentioned.
your partner/family are different and they should be complimenting you. Hopefully someone said something.
I suffer with depression etc so I can empathise with how you feel. Say well done to yourself and carry on making changes for you.

I once commented on a friends outfit “Oh WOW! You look amazing. I love that lipstick on you!” (I’m not an overly complimentary person just got the sake of it, but I give compliments when they are due)

She became really offended and said “Are you saying that I normally look a mess?” (She was like you and lived in leggings) and stopped speaking to me!

maybe people didn’t want to bring up your past ways?

i love a compliment, but only if I’ve made a real effort, or them seem insincere, so i do understand.

Just cut and pasting this from a thread this morning:

We had a training workshop last week, on "being respectful at work" (everyone did, I wasn't in a disciplinary or anything!) * . You're not supposed to comment on anyone's body, apparently. Even if it's a compliment or something like "have you lost weight"? You can't comment on a person's height, hair, feet, age, dress sense etc etc, because it might offend. Not as a joke, not as a conversation starter, not as a concern...
I think that's the way it's going, culturally. So this might be something to do with why no-one has commented.*

Well done you OP for snapping out of it and making an effort! You are better/stronger than I! Go on post a picture and we will tell you you look nice:)

Don’t depend on others for validation. Self obsession is self sabotage. You did it for you and your children. Limit social media and read, take care and good luck.

Compliments have become a hot potato nowadays. Strange but true. I’m sure you looked lovely and If I’d known you I would have said so.

I would never comment on someone else’s appearance like that, even if I thought they looked nice, in case it made them self conscious. Probably everyone there either thought you looked great, or didn’t notice what you look like!

Sometimes if you want compliments you have to fish for them a little. People don't always say what they're thinking. Even if they do think you look nice, they might assume you know that. Or just not think there's a natural opening in the conversation to say so. And as others have said: most people are busy thinking about themselves.

Try giving them the opportunity to say something. "I haven't worn a dress in ages - it was nice getting glammed up for a change!" "I thought I'd change up my hair. I feel so much fresher!" Or give them a compliment, and see if they compliment something back. Most people do automatically.

I know a spontaneous compliment is nicer to receive, but sometimes you need to give people a nudge

Well done you for making a big effort, shame on your husband for not noticing 😩.
As for others, maybe they weren't comfortable commenting, but the main thing to remember that it's what you feel that really counts 😎

They probably noticed but some people awkward at giving compliments, either in case it was received wrongly, or in case they didn’t want you think they were hitting on you!

I thought you looked lovely!

I don't think it was in intentional. Many people are just self absorbed to notice or make a point in paying a compliment.

Only you are interested in you, no idea why you’d expect people who normally have to hold their nose around you to say you look like a normal person.

Did they comment on how terrible you looked before?

You probably didn't look THAT bad. I could smell you from here though (that was a joke, OK?)

We live in a world where complimenting a fellow-worker on their appearance can be construed as sexual harassment.

If you've been depressed, your husband has probably learned not to make personal comments. Go up to him tonight and ask for a cuddle. Yes, that as well, if you like.

All best wishes.

If your dh is anything like mine, he probably barely notices such things anyway. I used to say that mine wouldn’t notice if I went out topless with my nipples painted green. He’s still a lovely dh, though.

Honestly OP, I'm sad to say I find many school mums either distracted or very self absorbed so it's likely they didn't even notice or that you didn't look as bad tk begin with as you thought. A bit sad that your DH didn't say anything though.

Did you say to anyone else they looked nice? (A situation where someone might respond in kind?) I would be wary of commenting to someone about their appearance unless they brought it up first for fear of causing offence.

With regards to your husband does he normally compliment you ? Mines terrible at compliments and rarely dies so as he finds them awkward.

The other thing to remember is this was a big step for you, but unless you told others how important this was to you it wasn’t a big step for them.

Own what you did and be proud of yourself, you don’t need others validation.

I would have noticed this and felt very happy for you. But I wouldn't have mentioned it to you unless you were my friend. I would have made said I like your dress or something generic.

Well done on the turn around and taking an interest in yourself.
I know it's hard to drag yourself out of that black hole.
By managing that it's no small feat.
You should be very proud of yourself.

I felt really nice and felt good about myself.

Can you capture, savour and bottle this feeling.
I have been on a similar journey and I am delighted with myself - you should be too. Keep it up for your DCs even if you cant do it for yourself all the time.

I am a big believer in outside in approach for shifting depression.

I try to be a thoughtful person. If I see someone has done something different I'll try to find something I can genuinely compliment eg that's a beautiful dress, I love your shade of lipstick/eyeshadow, your hair is looking fantastic today / your hair looks so nice like that.

I think of the times people say random things like that to me, and it makes you feel good.

Yep.. there's a mum at school I know enough to say hi too, have a few words with, who's lost a LOT of weight in the last year. I'd never comment though because it's pointing out she was big before I guess.. I think people are just wary off accidentally offending someone.

Great answer!