14 year old boys are a pain in the ass.

14 is a vile age! My 18 year old (first born) went into this tunnel of awfulness at 14 but came out the other side about 17-18. At the time I took it all really personally and was tormenting myself that my parenting just wasn’t good enough. Now I have a second 14 year old I am letting her do her thing and have realised that she needs to be a pain in the ass before she’ll get any better. It almost doesn’t matter what I do, the hormones will always win. One more to go after her then hoping it’s all behind me?!

Godspeed! May the odds be ever in your favour 🫶

Totally get ya. Mines 16 and has improved
Having a part time job has def helped. Was fed up off being the bank of Mum and him moaning there is nothing to eat etc. He is still rather lazy at home but his attitude is definitely better. If only he'd do the dishes at home like he does at work lol.

Mine is 13.5 and mostly still a delight, but I’m consciously treasuring the sweet bits for when he goes feral…

My 14 year old boy is genuinely lovely. It’s my 12 year girl that has all the attitude!!! 😅

DS2 is 17 - and still has moments, but we would not have tolerated appalling rudeness or very bad behaviour so we haven’t had that. I have removed the phone once or twice and firmly reminded him of the benefits of the parental taxi service which can easily stop.

If we had had door slamming or his room left in a total state, or he’d been taking his older brother’s property when he lived here, for example, we would have taken his bedroom door off. If a teen can’t respect our house or our property then he has no right to privacy. If he can’t use his phone sensibly then he loses it. If he speaks to us like dirt he gets no lifts. Our approach is to (try to) stay calm and impose meaningful consequences.

DS1 is 25 and is long out the other side …

I took my DD on holiday to Greece when he was 14. I might as well gone on my own.

All he wanted to do was sleep, sit in the shade, have pizza or pasta every night and go in the same bar that had a pool table.

He was pretty monosyllabic unless he wanted food or drink.

Hes now 21 and says to me he feels like he wasted that holiday and would love to go back and do it differently

It does get better, slowly, gradually but it does.

Oh god the flat monotone voice! It's driving me crazy

14 was the WORST age by far. Nearly 17 now and a lot nicer thank god.

I hear you ... Yesterday I was out in an area with lots of kids playing. All these tiny tots clinging to their mums, talking to them, actually enjoying being with them. I felt so sad that those days are gone. How is it possible that this dynamic gets completely turned around? Nature feels cruel sometimes.

Our young man was delightful at 14. Our daughter, on the other hand 🤯 😁

(16 years on, she’s the most wonderful woman)

Mine are a long way off that age thankfully but I was an absolute dick at that age and still remember it clearly (and cringe about it).
People blame hormones which is definitely a huge factor but it’s also the lack of autonomy and being treated like a child whilst simultaneously being expected to behave like an adult. It is bloody hard being 13/14/15. Probably some of the worst years of my life for me as I was badly bullied and felt misunderstood by all the people I used to turn to (parents and siblings). I remember feeling so so lonely and yet also smothered at times by my mum who was desperately trying to cling onto my childhood.
Hang in there, it will pass. And I’m sure I will be here in 10 years tearing my hair out over my own teens 😅

12 -17.5years old - difficult times! It was almost like a switch flicked on at 12.5.

I have a 24 and 21 year old. The 24 year old is lovely - still waiting for the 21 year old to become normal again. Lord, give me patience.

14 year old boy Mum here, yes I can confirm they are arseholes.
Mine is currently annoyed with me as I’ve brought him on another holiday and “we only went at Easter” there is light at the end of the tunnel I also have a lovely 18 year old DS who now only hates me occasionally.
He also rolled his eyes when he found out we were here two weeks and not one.

🤣🤣🤣 so true!

I was sent a great joke the other day...

TOP TIP: Relive your teenage years by calling your mother a fucking twat, then immediately asking for a lift into town.

Mine grunted 3 phrases at me for about 2 years - " sure" ,"I dunno", "whatever ". It was tough but it does pass, now 17 and delightful company. They are hard to love at that age, sullen, grumpy, awkward, smelly..but that's when they need us the most. Feed them good food, buy deodorant, give lifts, get father/male role model to talk about hygiene, shaving, girls/boys/consent...then ride it out.

Mines is the same, think he knows better than me and has become so lazy and selfish, he’s pushed me to my limits then I read it’s all quite normal and calm down a bit, my other teenagers weren’t as hard

Keep telling them, referring to tem as a pain and.....
This will pass.

My 13 year ds is currently in this phase of life. I hope it passes quickly. I'm worn out 😔

They become human. (Eventually). Promise. I recall at the beginning of year 9 our Head telling us parents 'Trust me... it's crap now but the latter teens is just something we all have to move through'.

My dad was a HT years back and they actually had a separate section of the campus for Year 9s only (note- this was not in the UK and was on a huge school site of multiple acres) because they recognised that 14 and 15 years olds were just grim.

Hang in there! It gets better eventually.
When I was tearing my hair out, someone said to me 'But he would be so upset if you weren't around'.
Still makes me cry x

Yeah I was gonna say, get this persona hat and a balloon because clearly they are winning at parenting!
Honestly though, not a helpful comment in the least.

Mine is 12 and I already feel like I'm losing my mind. I am dreading being in the actual pits of teenager horse-shittery tbh. Solidarity sister.