How to tell a bridesmaid I don’t want her to be anymore?

Don’t text her! Christ.

I can’t see the benefit of having bridesmaids these days as there always seems to be drama over the incredibly lengthy, expensive and complied preparation periods required now and someone from at least one side is always disappointing someone else. Tbh I would say just suck it up, reduce all the events involving bridesmaids for the rest of the time and just know that she will be a tiny part of your wedding day.

Is your dp really engaging with this or is he just agreeing with what you tell him about her for a quiet life? Tbh wouldn’t he really want you just not to be having big rows he has to hear about?

I think you were both brave for sacking her from bridesmaid but still letting her come to the wedding! You made the right choice, but why spend your whole day on egg shells

I suggest then you revoke her wedding invite completely and save face by saying she’s ill.

just Do it. I wish I had.

Whatever you do, don’t do it by messaging. It’ll turn into an escalating message war and terrible things will be written. I know it feels easier, but difficult conversations should be done in person so that you can keep it civil.

Be prepared for the fall out, my husband sacked his sister as my bridesmaid as she had been an absolute nightmare in the run up to the wedding, caused a lot of stress over lots of things and I honestly wasn't a bridezilla.

She refused to speak to me on the day, carried on being horrid afterwards as well - the relationship has never repaired even 12 years on. However I do not regret it for one minute, she ruined what should have been a lovely time and I spent my wedding day on egg shells waiting for her to be a nightmare.

That is batshit.

' you can fuck off my wedding but we'll have a coffee in a month or so'

It was the other way round for me. I pulled out of being a friends bridesmaid just 3 weeks before the wedding.

I put up with so many judgemental comments and borderline bullying for many years, she went a bit bridezilla and would be fuming at me if I couldn’t attend things at the drop of the hat.

I snapped 3 weeks before the wedding and couldn’t bare pretending to be all fine and dandy when deep down, I just didn’t want to be her bridesmaid (or friend!) anymore

I sent her a text saying that I couldn’t over look her behaviour anymore and I knew she wouldn’t change as I’ve given her chances before. I knew she’d be upset, but I had to do what we best for me and step back from the friendship which meant in turn no longer being bridesmaid. I wished her all the best on her big day and future, but that was it for our friendship now.

I felt guilty (I’m sure you feel guilty too) but honestly, better to Chuck her out the party now than leave it to the last minuite like I did - or, even worse, have her on the big day when you don’t want her to be

Is there someone a bit more objective than your partner you could talk to?

You need to tell her then. You don't sound like you're being unreasonable if she's being a dick to you. I think send the message suggested in the post above. I hope you have a wonderful day went comes

What did she say?

Send her a message: “I’m really upset that you said x to me yesterday. I don’t want you to attend my wedding anymore. Hope you can understand that and perhaps we can talk it through after the wedding as I have a lot going on right now.”

Would need more specific detail as women sometimes turn into bridezillas with OTT expectations. What did she say?