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DP kicking off because I’ve cancelled our plans to see friend

64 replies

IzzyN · 04/07/2025 13:18

My best friend is going through an awful breakup and has messaged me this morning to say she feels really down and could do with some company tonight. She has been there for me in the past so I asked DP if he’d mind we move our planned dinner to tomorrow (we are both free and the restaurant has availability). He called on my lunch break and got funny with me, said that she can’t expect me to just drop plans and that she’d be better off without her ex. I wasn’t a big fan of him either, but pointed out that’s beyond the point. He said that she ‘wont go short of c**k’ so I should just tell her to go on a night out. I told DP he should be more understanding and that I am going to see her as that’s what friends do.

OP posts:
OVienna · 04/07/2025 13:29

Partner speaks like a bellend. LTB.

Dunnocantthinkofone · 04/07/2025 13:28

His comments were repulsive and that sort of misogyny would have me rethinking a relationship with him

Yabu to drop him in these circumstances though. You could easily see you friend at some point over the weekend when you didn’t have to let someone else down

ManchesterGirl2 · 04/07/2025 13:28

I've known people like this, you jump through hoops for them, and then once life is fine and dandy again you don't see them for dust.

OP says "She has been there for me in the past".

Dozycuntlaters · 04/07/2025 13:27

I'm with your DH to be honest. Yes of course we want to be there for our friends when they're going through a tough time but I wouldn't be cancelling dinner plans with my partner because she wants company. You should have just said sorry I can't come over tonight and then just arranged another time. Are you going to cancel further plans whenever she needs company? Don't be too available. I've known people like this, you jump through hoops for them, and then once life is fine and dandy again you don't see them for dust.

Yes of course, be there for her, but not at the detriment to other relationships, and set some boundaries.

ManchesterGirl2 · 04/07/2025 13:26

Darby3785 · 04/07/2025 13:23

Your DP was completely out of order with his comment but to be honest he is probably a bit annoyed you have rearranged your dinner plans! I wouldn't be happy with my DH if he did this unless it was a complete emergency! Yes she is going through a tough time but you can just drop everything!

Moving dinner to the following night is hardly "dropping everything" is it?

ManchesterGirl2 · 04/07/2025 13:26

You sound a lovely friend. He should be more understanding. All you're doing is moving dinner with him by one night.

FrenchandSaunders · 04/07/2025 13:25

Wow what a thing to say about your friend ... I think you should dump him and go out with the best friend more often!

He has obv got a thing about her to say that!

Wishimaywishimight · 04/07/2025 13:25

I can understand him being a little disappointed but his comment is disgusting. Hearing my partner speak about a woman in such a vulgar manner would put me right off him.

sheknowsitstoolate · 04/07/2025 13:25

I would go and see her tomorrow instead. He shouldn’t have said what he said though.

Darby3785 · 04/07/2025 13:23

Your DP was completely out of order with his comment but to be honest he is probably a bit annoyed you have rearranged your dinner plans! I wouldn't be happy with my DH if he did this unless it was a complete emergency! Yes she is going through a tough time but you can just drop everything!

TravelPanic · 04/07/2025 13:22

Sorry, just realised your plans are only with DP - easier to move in that case but I still don’t see why you can’t meet her tomorrow instead?

that said, your partner’s language is horrible. Does he usually talk like that?

TravelPanic · 04/07/2025 13:21

Why can’t you see your friend tomorrow night instead? She won’t be suddenly happy tomorrow and will still need support. I’d be annoyed too if you’re trying to rearrange plans with other people.

rubyslippers · 04/07/2025 13:20

His response is disgusting
is that how he speaks generally

Gallivanterer · 04/07/2025 13:20

I dont like his last comment, its disgusting.

However I know break ups can be really bad, but i still think you should have honoured your dinner plans with your DP.