why is called the SCs home when it isn't?

It sounds like the relationship is temporary tbh.

But yes, dad and kids come as a package, if you house the dad, by extension you’ve housed the kids.

Whatever pit he lays his head on is their home.

Not that it’s your responsibility to house a grown man or his kids, they won’t lose their home when he leaves. It’ll be wherever he lives next.

Providing a home for DC is for most people an economic commitment, to be fair. So on an economic level, the GF is providing the home in the OP’s case. The couple are not married and the dad is not a stay at home parent to other DC, which I think would equal an economic commitment (so unpaid labour benefitting the household).

Whether DC are welcome or not in the GF’s house is an emotional question, which seems to be tied up for most posters on this thread with the ability to call said house home. As long as the dad lives with the GF it is his home, I don’t think anyone is disputing that. And no-one is saying DC are unwelcome. However, as other posters have also noted, this is not a stable or secure home (they are not married and he has no legal right to the house). It is not his house so whatever home he creates there is dependent on his GF’s consent to the relationship. Whether you agree with the OP’s depiction of the home as temporary or not, surely we can agree that dad has no claim to permanence in this scenario.

The OP has, as I recall, conceded that this is the DC’s home, at least temporarily. However, I would question whether DC actually do have two homes in this scenario, temporary or otherwise, or one home and one place they stay every other weekend. For all practical and legal purposes (presuming the mother has residency), their home is with their mother, their home address for school, doctor, dentist etc will also be with their mother. With the economic costs that entails.

I would say it is values based, rather than value based. Values in so far as providing a home is about more than making DC feel welcome but about providing security and permanency to the best of one’s ability.

You keep saying it’s just words but the kids calling it home is also just words. Is it really that much of a big deal that the kids calling her house home?
The dad needs to rethink his priorities if this is how his girlfriend thinks. Who moves a man in thinking it’s only temporary? Also who would turn to their SC and say sorry you’re just a visitor?

OP I don’t get what point you’re trying to make? In what scenario are you expecting the kids to tell people that the house is their “temporary” home?

it’s the same for anyone in a relationship who has moved in with someone who already owns a property. My husband lived in a house owned solely by me from a year into our relationship until a year after we were married when we eventually bought our own house together. When people asked him where he lived, would you expect him to say “in a temporary home, owned by Travel”? Or, like a normal person, just say “in a house in Brighton” and not mention whose name was on the deeds?!

I just genuinely don’t understand your nitpicking here? No kid owns a home and parents can be thrown out of rented accommodation if landlord sells up or if they don’t pay rent, parents can also be thrown out of mortgaged property if they stop paying the mortgage. So are only people who own house outright in real homes?

You can refer to any home as a temporary home. Many marriages split up forcing children to leave their home.

why are you asking?

Because it is their home. Their dad’s home is also their home. Just because they spend more time at their mums house both places are their home

Yes, but if it was never intended to be a permanent arrangement (e.g. my sister is staying with me for 6 months whilst looking for a flat) then I think referring to it as a temporary home is fine. But this is completely different to the situation you are describing! Assuming the father intended his relationship to last

My personal belief is that it is entirely up to the parents to provide a stable and secure home for their children. So in this strange thread, I would agree that although it is deemed the children are at “home” with their father EOW, the father is not the one providing the “home”, it is in fact his partner. If things were to come to an end then there is no security for him or his children which is why I think it is important for the parents to provide that stability and not palm it off on a new partner.

You are truly bizarre.

why does it even matter? Who are you in this scenario and what’s your actual issue ?

After what arbitrary period of time would you stop referring to it as a "temporary home" OP? One year, five years, 10 years? Surely everyone starts to cohabit assuming it will be a permanent arrangement.

Out of curiosity OP, how should the man refer to the house? For example - If Dave moves in with Mary, and it’s Mary’s house, Dave has no legal claim to the house. After a few years he’s still there, but still not on the deeds or the mortgage. When he’s at work, and it’s the end of the day, should he say “I’m going home now” or “I’m going back to Mary’s house”?

Would you say the same if a woman moved into a man’s home?

I don’t get this line of thought at all, which ever way around it is. People often move into a home already owned by their partner. Couples don’t always buy a new house specially so they can live together, if one of them already has a house that is suitable.

😂

You specifically said it’s about paying.

my sister lived with me for a while, paid no bills and not named. It was absolutely her home while she lived with me.

Why do you keep asking the same question over and over? Have you even read the responses people have taken the time to write?

Why don’t you just explain your actual situation then people can give more specific advice.

No stranger than your thoughts today OP.

What a strange thought. My Nan has never paid a bill in her life. Doesn’t mean the house she lives in isn’t her home.

I see this is a hill you’re willing to die on op, a sad, lonely, bitter hill. Enjoy 🥂 As ever… poor kids.

It is one of their homes, their other home is with their mother.

Not read the thread but this is typical MN , the step children are golden angels and any women who meets a man with kids should provide for them and do all the things their dad should do, but not parent , not overstep and not consider herself important to the step kids.

it’s shitty. Dads who move into other peoples homes and take their kids without contributing are the worst kind of cocklodgers.

Interesting. I bought my home with my ex husband and his kids had a room here and stayed every weekend. He moved out and decided I could not see his kids anymore (cos he is a dick) and then I bought him out so no longer the kids home. I called it their home when they stayed here and we were married though.

Just thinking now if I moved a man in and his kids stayed would I call it their home or not... i possibly not if they were only here every second weekend for a night or so although I wouldnt call it his home either. Im gonna be single forever I think....