Page 15 | why is called the SCs home when it isn't?

Miyagi99 · 04/07/2025 14:11

cardycard · 04/07/2025 14:08

Is that the way ownership of property works?

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Ownership is different to home. I don’t own my home.

Coffeeishot · 04/07/2025 14:10

cardycard · 04/07/2025 14:08

Is that the way ownership of property works?

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That is the way co habiting couples work sometimes though.

WellMaybeYouShouldntBeLivingHeeeeeeee · 04/07/2025 14:10

cardycard · 04/07/2025 14:08

Is that the way ownership of property works?

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You are not making any sense. Do you understand that owning property and having a home are totally separate things?

Coffeeishot · 04/07/2025 14:09

cardycard · 04/07/2025 14:07

How does calling it a home bring security to the poor kids? If the woman ends the relationship which she has every right to, the poor kids are going to think we have lost our home. It was never theirs or their fathers to begin with

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Yes you are right the kids lose security, but what are these hypothetically kids to think/say, i am going over to "sarahs" house to see my dad.

Miyagi99 · 04/07/2025 14:08

cardycard · 04/07/2025 14:03

It is a temporary home I guess as if the relationship ends the father nor his children can stay there anymore. It was never really theirs to begin with.

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That’s the same with most homes, you move, or rent and have to move, then the children’s home changes to where the parent moves to.

Original poster

cardycard · 04/07/2025 14:08

pottylolly · 04/07/2025 14:07

Whereever the dad lives becomes their home. It doesn’t matter who owns it.

Is that the way ownership of property works?

OP posts:

Original poster

cardycard · 04/07/2025 14:07

ScratCat · 04/07/2025 14:06

Because those poor kids with their divided lives should at least be able to call 2 houses their homes. It’s not about who has paid for the home, it’s about where their parents are and where the kids have a base.

How does calling it a home bring security to the poor kids? If the woman ends the relationship which she has every right to, the poor kids are going to think we have lost our home. It was never theirs or their fathers to begin with

OP posts:

pottylolly · 04/07/2025 14:07

Whereever the dad lives becomes their home. It doesn’t matter who owns it.

Coffeeishot · 04/07/2025 14:07

cardycard · 04/07/2025 14:05

Only in words in that case which does not mean much. She can ask him to leave whenever she wants. Then he will have to find another 'home' for himself and his children

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This is true but saying that you don't see it as his house either so not a particular committed partnership.

adviceneeded1990 · 04/07/2025 14:06

cardycard · 04/07/2025 14:06

Only in words though unless the father is on the mortgage/rental agreement etc.

So it is a temporary home until he leaves or she asks him and his children to leave.

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Any man who would subject his children to that level of housing insecurity isn’t a good father. But he’s a visitor 4 days a month anyway isn’t he, with EOW? Hopefully their Mum is a decent parent.

Original poster

cardycard · 04/07/2025 14:06

LBFseBrom · 04/07/2025 14:04

It is their home while they are there unless the home owner exactly stipulates otherwise, eg if relationship with their dad is not a committed one.

Only in words though unless the father is on the mortgage/rental agreement etc.

So it is a temporary home until he leaves or she asks him and his children to leave.

OP posts:

ScratCat · 04/07/2025 14:06

Because those poor kids with their divided lives should at least be able to call 2 houses their homes. It’s not about who has paid for the home, it’s about where their parents are and where the kids have a base.

Coffeeishot · 04/07/2025 14:05

cardycard · 04/07/2025 14:03

It is a temporary home I guess as if the relationship ends the father nor his children can stay there anymore. It was never really theirs to begin with.

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Are you genuinely this unpleasant?

steff13 · 04/07/2025 14:05

BusyExpert · 04/07/2025 13:06

but if the woman is paying all the bills then the father is not providing a home for the SC the woman is.

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But the children have a home wherever the father's home is.

Original poster

cardycard · 04/07/2025 14:05

DurinsBane · 04/07/2025 14:03

Yes

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Only in words in that case which does not mean much. She can ask him to leave whenever she wants. Then he will have to find another 'home' for himself and his children

OP posts:

LBFseBrom · 04/07/2025 14:04

It is their home while they are there unless the home owner exactly stipulates otherwise, eg if relationship with their dad is not a committed one.

Coffeeishot · 04/07/2025 14:04

cardycard · 04/07/2025 12:55

I keep seeing this scenario.

Woman with her own house. She is paying for the bills. Her DP moves in. His kids come EOW. Why do so many people say it is the SC's home?

It is their dads house so for that weekend it is their house, are you in this situation because if you are i would suggest he moved out until his children are adults.

adviceneeded1990 · 04/07/2025 14:03

I’d judge the man who accepts EOW and the woman who moves in with a man who has EOW. A man who thinks 4 days out of 30/31 is parenting is pathetic. And no, somewhere they stay 4 nights a month won’t feel like their home.

Original poster

cardycard · 04/07/2025 14:03

Rallentanda · 04/07/2025 13:40

This is up to the woman, though? If she allows that, then what else would you call the place where the kids' father lives?

'Home' just means where their father lives, and it could mean where they feel at home. Unlikely to feel much like home to them (I speak from bitter experience).

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It is a temporary home I guess as if the relationship ends the father nor his children can stay there anymore. It was never really theirs to begin with.

OP posts:

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 04/07/2025 14:03

If it’s the man’s home it’s his children’s home.

I would advise a women to think very carefully before moving a man in in these circumstances though- paying all the bills and he takes up residence there - knowing he and his kids must always come as a package.

A woman is very naïve and unrealistic if she thinks she can move a man in but his kids are somehow just visitors - and not very nice either!

DurinsBane · 04/07/2025 14:03

cardycard · 04/07/2025 13:28

So because he moves in with someone into a house that he did not pay for, then suddenly it becomes his childrens home too?

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Yes

Bumdrops · 04/07/2025 14:01

cardycard · 04/07/2025 13:31

So if she asks him to leave, she is depriving the children of their home?

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Yes but that’s for the parents to resolve -
the step children are real humans you know !
generally it is expected that parents provide a home ? If your partner has kids and lives with you, your home becomes the kids home when they are with their parent -

Kbroughton · 04/07/2025 14:01

slowraindrop · 04/07/2025 13:48

It’s this sort of view that makes me hope to God that my husband and I don’t break up / die whilst our DCs are young. The thought of a new partner thinking about them like this makes me really sad.

I have a step daughter and I don't think like this. My daughter is also a step daughter (with the woman my husband left me for!) and she treats her really well. My daughter and my step daughter both say they have two homes. And hopefully neither of you will die. TBH reading between the lines I think the OP is the 'woman' in this scenario. She has a cock lodger boyfriend who is saying she will make his children homeless if she chucks him out.

MaggiesShadow · 04/07/2025 13:55

Why are you asking, @cardycard ? Are you having issues with someone in your home?

thepariscrimefiles · 04/07/2025 13:55

cardycard · 04/07/2025 13:30

Just living somewhere makes it the children's home even though the child's father contributed nothing?

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I think it depends on the context. If they aren't married and his name isn't on the mortgage or the deeds, from a legal perspective, he doesn't own the home and OP could kick him out and change the locks. It's currently her DP's home if he lives there full time and maybe the kids refer to it as home in conversation e.g. 'what time are we going home' if they are on a day out. I would presume that the children would call the house where they live most of the time with their mum their 'home'.

Why are you asking?