Was I mean to dd?

Who cares, why should a petty child get their own way? It's utterly ridiculous. She's so keen on being the oldest with privileges,yet sulks like a 5 year old when she doesn't get her own way?

In my house whoever asks first is told yes then the other one gets the next turn. Usually one asks ridiculously early, the other whines and I say you are in front seat next. If one person constantly asking first I say "no you were first in front yesterday"

It is so boring, but seems so important to then both 🙄

In this instance you weren't mean to dd, unless you deliberately took the other car so she missed out?

If you're not going to have a rota, then "first come, first served" seems reasonable, and it means one person less to chivvy to get ready. Sitting and reading in the car does no harm. If you changed car just to catch her out, I think that's rather mean. If not, well, in future she'll be asking which car before she heads out.

This has made my eye twitch - I have 4 boys and every trip was an argument and usually between two of them particularly. A rota is definitely your friend.

I would say it's a little mean to not tell her she was in the wrong car, but at the same time she needs to learn she can't sulk or dominate just because she is older.

Just literally have then take turns. Any sulking when it's not there turn, means they forfeit the next day.

So ideally every other time they swap...
But if she sulks...

Mon: DD
Tues: DS .... DD sulks so
Weds: DS gets another turn. If she sulks, tough. If she doesn't it's her turn next.
Thurs: DD

Or just put the youngest in the front and leave them in the back.

Oh my god. All these questions about 'why can't they both fit???', can't people imagine you have other kids? Not to mention that it says it right there in the OP.

Petty and hilarious OP. She'll get over it.

Can't you put a car seat in the front for a younger one.

What?? Why not? Are they tricycles not cars?

You were mean, clearly favouring your DS.

Step up & sort it out properly.

Kids should sit in the back unless no room(3 kids car seats)

dont understand why no room in a car for 2 kids

what car do you have ?

what happens if go out as a family. Surely they sit in the back then ? And dh in front

you have caused this. Either they take turns or both in the back

petty. Nah. She was being a pain. Sitting in the car for 30m is madness to claim a seat

Why has this even got to this stage?

Going forward, tell them they get the front seat turn about. Nothing to do with age, or who gets there first. Just a fair, simple system. Tell them that any arguments, gloating or other unwelcome behaviour will result in both children being in the back seat.

Explain to your daughter that she's not more important because she's older, but also try and find out why this is so important to her. Is she struggling with feeling second best in some way? Is she needing positive attention and validation? There may be something beneath the surface.

The person in the front had to help the driver whenmy dc were little. Tended to be by age.

You’re being horrible to both of them.
Deal with the situation!
Either sort a rota or make them both sit in the back. Stop feeding into this toxic competitiveness.

When I worked in a children's home, who sat where in the car was the biggest argument they'd have...so rota it was!

Wow yes thats mean

When our girls were at school there was a rota for the front seat ( 3 1/2 years age difference) when DH drove them to secondary school.
This apparently included a radio rota! That was a front seat perk. At the time even the dog had a turn on the radio rota 😂 though not the front seat as she wasn’t keen on Dad’s choices either!
Alternate days is the way to go.

I think telling her the sulks have gone on to long and the palava today was the results of sulks, and there will be no more huffs, if she doesn't say bye when she leaves the car that is on her just smile and wave them both off.

The gloating thing would make me ensure she never got the front seat until she stopped that. Thereafter, take turns.
But I'm hellish mean.

Okay, then, yes, you were petty and childish.

She may be childish and annoying, but she actually is a child.

What vehicle is it that both can’t get in the back?

But yes you were petty.

I think if she got up early and got ready quickly then she deserves to take the seat of her choice. I mean she put in considerable effort and forethought. I do think it was a bit mean to waste the effort she put in.

On the other hand maybe I say this because my kids take forever to get ready and we are often late.

It shouldn't be a daily battle every day though. Like others have said I'd take turns.

She sounds insufferable. Why isn’t there room in the back for both?

Exactly. This is fairest.

Posted at the same time as your update, OP! Quite frankly I'd tell her that if shes going to sulk over it, she's in tbe back permanently. Don't stand for it.

Who called 'shotgun'? It's quite obviously the only way to settle this issue.