Nanny bringing boyfriend round for babysitting

I agree that's it about weighing risk in life BUT there is no way I would want to expose my children to risk like this when it is not necessary.

It sounds like you would benefit from some safeguarding training OP. You seem to have a very blasé attitude to having strange men unsupervised in your home in your absence.

No wouldn’t be comfortable with this and think it’s unprofessional of her to ask. They aren’t teenagers having snatched moments together, she can see him every other night of the week.

Hard no from me, as a parent and former frequent babysitter! Unprofessional of your nanny to ask.

I agree. I don't think it's such big dram but I'd want to meet him first. I'd also want to ensure she snot going to be distcted because he's there

Absolutely not! But you seem very relaxed concerning allowing unknown males around your kids?! At least your husband has sense. I actually don’t think that having this man in your home is worse than letting your nanny take your kids to a different location to meet a man that you’d never met?! That is more shocking to me. Particularly as it is a place where they were staying and had a bedroom. I’m sure this man is absolutely fine and normal but you cannot know that for certain and should not be allowing him to be around your kids

It clearly sits well with you so I’m not sure why you’re asking opinions tbh.

I consider myself reasonably laid back, but I wouldn't be comfortable with this. Not because I think he's a potential child abuser, but because a) I've never met him b) I'm paying the sitter to do a job, and c) it blurs the lines, and she might start asking for him to join her during her contracted nanny time too (or just invite him to without telling you 'because you were okay with him coming over when she was babysitting')

Absolutely this

But you were happy for her to take them to the place where she was staying with him and you hadn’t met him at that point. So what’s different now? You trust her with your children and you know she would keep them safe.

Hard no from me (coincidentally, I also have 7 year old twins!), whether it be a boyfriend or mate.

I don't think babysitting on a Saturday night, in addition to. FT nanny job, is "working" in the same way.

She's still doing OP a favour and giving up her Saturday night, even if she is being paid. If nanny decides she'd rather not, that leaves OP having to use a 'stranger'.

OP trusts nanny to have her DC FT and protect them from all the people they come into contact with during that time, so why wouldn't she trust nanny to protect them here. If Op thinks nanny would give unsupervised access to her children to anyone, she needs a different nanny, but I'm sure that's not the case.

She’s at work for god’s sake. Do you take your husband to work with you? I would find it completely unacceptable and worrying that she would even ask this to be honest-it shows a clear lack of safeguarding and boundaries from her side.

Exactly, she can call him or a friend to chat while she's bored on the sofa. Scroll through tiktok, play a game on a switch/console idk what she has lol. There's many things she can do that do not involve bringing a random man into the home

She's working. No. End of. First time, I'd just close the discussion and keep an eye on her. I'd be concerned of her commitment and safeguarding approach if she asks more than once.

So I was perhaps thinking he could come once they are in bed to keep her company?

For godsake, why does she need to be 'kept company'.... she's at work?! What other job would you ask your employer if your partner could come and sit with you to keep you company? Utterly unprofessional.

No, I would not let an unvetted man (or even a vetted man - sorry) in a house with my 7 year old girls.

DBS checks just confirm you don't have unspent convictions and aren't barred form working with children. They don't check your associates or "boyfriends" and passing one doesn't mean you're a good person or have good judgement.

I worry about you, why do want to help strange man enter your house while your 7 year old kids are asleep? Also is it just this strange man or any future strange men your unrelated nanny might decide to go out with?

Exactly and then OP has to find someone else she's comfortable with. So for me, known nanny plus BF would be the better option.

All employees deserve to be treated with kindness and respect. That doesn't mean you can never decline a request that doesn't feel comfortable for you, especially when the workplace is your own home. OP's DH isn't comfortable with a stranger being in his home while he's out and the children are asleep upstairs. As the children's father does he not deserve respect and consideration?

She is definitely within her rights to say she prefers time with her boyfriend to working, OP would then hire someone else. Access to a boyfriend during work isn't a working perk of any job I know.

I think you should arrange to meet him first but then I don’t see the problem with him joining her for a few hours in the evening.

You really only need a sitter to ensure that you don’t have a fire or a burglary when you’re out, as the kids will be asleep in bed.

I thought people on here say the biggest risk is a related male?

I would say after they have gone to bed is a good compromise. If you say no then she is within her rights to say no to additional work at the weekend. Then OP is left without a trusted person to rely on.