Young staff at work

I think it is very dependent on the type of work environment. We get work placement people sometimes at my work and generally they just leave a box of sweets for all staff.

but we also employ trainees. Mentoring them is part of the job, so no need for thank you cards etc.

Absolutely not appropriate in my view - a thank you, yes of course. But gifts should always flow downwards (i.e. from senior to junior), not the other way around. Inappropriate to expect junior people to buy their seniors gifts and if young people are pushing back on it in your industry then good for them. Progress.

DS (Year 12) is finishing a week's work experience today and has taken in some cakey bits for the team. I suggested he also give his mentor a thank-you card, but he said he felt a bit awkward and OTT doing that so we've compromised that he will verbally give him an effusive thank you (explaining how helpful the experience has been etc) and then next week send a more formal thank you email (I would hope this is something his school will make him do anyway) copying in his mentor's boss.

But I guess though there comes an age when these young people don't have a pushy parent like me telling them to do stuff like this. I would like to think my DS would now know to do this at placements in the future but....

Reading this thread reminds me how different workplaces can be. My previous in person office went heavily on all this - managers got automated emails from the HR system reminding them of upcoming birthdays, there’d be a PowerPoint circulated for everyone to ‘sign’, cake in the kitchen, gift card for your work anniversary, meal out for your promotion, personal budget for ‘treating’ your team etc. In my current role which is remote I still try and carry this kind of vibe through my team, and it always seems appreciated.

Ultimately regardless of if you think it’s appropriate, it sounds like that’s the culture in OPs workplace and yes - it’s a little tone deaf not to arrange something for the people training you for 6 months, when that’s the norm - ESPECIALLY if you’re being taught to do the same with clients.

I work with early careers students of the same age - at the end of the training period the more switched on ones will send a nice email and often do a thank you on LinkedIn. I might start mentioning remembering to show appreciation as part of the soft skills work I do with them. On the whole they are nice to work with and don't fit the 'entitled ' stereotype.

I think cards are less common than they were - I don't send them at all.

I think you clearly have rigid expectations that these trainees should have thanked the mentors and consider that they have failed in not doing so.

If the trainees have worked hard, been polite and professional throughout their training period then that is enough.

If you teach and mentor people as a job, then it is usually because you enjoy seeing the development of those people, not because you expect gratitude in addition to your pay.

I think the trainers need to keep it professional and stop with birthday cakes/extras.

But you’re almost saying that because someone organised a birthday cake for one of them, they now need to repay with a thank you cake. So it’s not a selfless act… does a verbal thank you not suffice? You need a physical item to feel gratitude?

That’s ok if they tell you. But it’s worth checking because of GDPR surrounding information. Companies have to:

• Ask for consent to keep a list of birthdays and use people's addresses to send birthday cards,
• Ensure that any objections to uses of personal data are recorded, and systems are in place to ensure these objections are passed on to relevant systems/departments.

Or was never a thing except in your specific industry

But do you expect for everyone to then care about that, or just your closest colleagues? To link it directly to the situation in your OP, if the staff have said thank you verbally to the people delivering the training, then that’s that. Not everything needs to be materialised.

Totally agree with you on this. There enough to cope with starting a new job/career without remembering all these unwritten rules about what to buy and when. I remember having to do the cakes thing when it was my birthday in the office. There were a lot of people in the team and I didn’t have a car. It was a total pain. Stuff like this contributed to why I became a self-employed contractor. You are there to focus on the job and can give most of this stuff a body swerve.

So, they actually tell you? Not “Jane said it’s Mary’s birthday next week”?

But not doing it isn't necessarily a young person thing or indeed notable as any lapse in etiquette

I've been in the workplace for 25 years. Never occurred to me to buy a card or present to say thank you to a colleague.

How do you know when their birthdays are? That in itself seems odd. Do they tell you? Do you have a calendar where everyone marks their birthday?

To be clear, are you paying these trainees?
There has been an (appalling imo) trend in the last decade or so for offering unpaid 'interships' to young people in certain industries and expecting them to be grateful that they got to be an unpaid office junior working 40 hours a week for free.

In many professions practice placements are required as part of their professional qualification. Students are learning the complexities of the job, soft skills and demonstrating competence. Mentoring is in addition to the mentors own role and involves a lot of support, practice
discussion and observation. It’s not the same as an unpaid office junior.

I work in higher education, not teaching, but in a role that involves spending a lot of time providing support and mentoring for individual students. 10 years ago I often received thank you cards, I haven't had one for at least five years now. I have questioned sometimes if the change is me, but it does definitely sit within a cultural shift where the university is almost desperately grateful for students being there.

I agree entirely with you OP. There's quite a few 'younger people' at my workplace. Honestly the work ethic is shit. There's literally 10 years between us and the difference is staggering. There's no drive like offering to try something or showing a thank you for mentoring. How hard is a card? And some biscuits?

Or when they do come to work it's late and they look totally appalled they aren't allowed to be on social media during working hours for example. Or that they are expected to dress in a business manner eg not leggings.

Even offer to get in on the tea round. I don't expect them to make everyone a drink all the time but I expect them to offer when they take one from others offering.