Young staff at work

Yet another thing to blame teachers for!

I've been working for over thirty years and during that time there has definitely been a shift in many organisations away from the paternalistic, we're a family/friends approach, some of it down to changes in the law. There's more distance in relationships, people don't socialise with colleagues in the same way, they definitely don't go out drinking with colleagues in the same way we used to! This means working relationships tend to be more transactional.

Did the trainees get a farewell card and gift from the others in the office?

Well clearly that bit of the training isn't as effective as you thought.

It's a bit of an unwritten rule, and I wonder if the length of time that they were on these placements might give the feeling that they were a reasonably temporary 'fixture' there. I have worked with a couple of interns for about that time, and they were understandably anxious about going to their more permanent placement (after 6 months) and, to a greater or lesser extent, the chance to become financially independent. Sometimes this also required them to be applying quite intensively as well as their work. Although a card is not a huge expense, for some, it might be a factor in the bigger picture.

Birthday cakes etc - this is nice, but can go far too far and can most definitely feel cliquey as well. Although a good baker, I would rather be thanked for a good job at what I am there for rather than - and I quote - "The Italian Grandmother award" (age 30. When I stopped buying into the 'make office cakes' pressure then and there).

I do hope that some form of a thank you would have come into it somewhere though.

I think maybe this is generational. I’m 30 so not much older than your trainees and while a card or gift is nice why would you do it for someone who’s paid to train you? Like that’s their actual job… they didn’t do the trainees a favour.

An email , or a public linked in post would be normal in my industry

@partyetiquette it's not age related.

These things have just completely gone out of the window.

and on here you'll probably get a bunch of people saying how relieved they are that it's gone out the window.

That's a shame.

Dh used to do this sort of mentoring and the trainees did give thank you cards, and presents at the end of the year. We've still got a personalised mug that came from one of his trainees.
Thinking about it probably the girls made more effort than the blokes. Are they mainly lads?

Is the training above and beyond their normal role?

I personally wouldn't expect or send gifts/chocolate/flowers in my place of work. I always think things like this always fall to the women to organise and it's unpaid and unrecognised labour and the gift stuff sounds more common in caring roles/teacher/nurses.

I understand it's nice to be nice, but at what cost, but if it's just nipping out and getting a card, cake whatever it is, why do men not do it?

Where as in my office I don't think anyone cares, we send an e-card round for birthday's etc.

I could have written this myself! I work in a very competitive industry where we have about 500 applications for 12 'internships' (we don't call them internships at our company but that is ultimately what they are).
The past 3 years or so we have been really surprised at the lack of "gratitude" I guess. We offer a huge amount of support to our trainees, sometimes outside of our working hours, to support them with all sorts of professional things (from references, to job applications and interview prep for other roles within our organisation etc) and only one in the past 3 years has even thought of saying 'thank you', let alone giving a card or gift.
It's actually become a huge problem for us as we now have less people who'll help our interns because the ones over the past few years have been so rude and ungrateful.
I think the theory about covid above is interesting as it's something we've really noticed since the lockdowns, but I also think parents have a big role as well, and these young people (most are between 18-25, though some are a little older) have been so infantilised that it doesn't even occur to them to think for themselves and show some thanks to someone who's helped them personally.

You obviously raised your daughter well….very often a persons behaviour is down to parenting. Thank you for raising a kind, well mannered, considerate human!

An email is, yes. Not really necessary if they've been thanked verbally, but useful for appraisals if needed.

A card, no. It's still expecting a junior person on a lower wage to shell out money for their senior. It doesn't matter about the amount.

I wouldn't think to send a card or gift to my trainer at work. If just take it that they were doing their job and the fact I passed the training was reward enough for them.

I mean if I got on really well with them I'd probably want to be friends and would go for drinks and stuff with them already.

So I doubt they'd think I was ungrateful as I'd be proactive in socialising with them if they were that type of person.

But cards and gifts wouldn't really be something I'd think of. Not for a senior who's on a much higher salary than me.

Birthdays can be really tricky. Not everyone enjoys them. I hate my birthday and would rather it just goes past unnoticed.

buying cake can in itself be problematic. For example I'm now diabetic but only a few people know that at work Same with hampers - food allergies/religious restrictions etc

I have never ever worked anywhere where birthdays were not acknowledged, card circulating, someone bringing in a cake/sweets etc. I would say that's the norm wherever you work and no need for bloody GDPR as OP says if it's a nice place, people do talk not like on MN where you can't possibly have a colleague that you also consider a friend.

I've had interns since 2018. I'm thankful if they turn up on time, every day, don't throw sickies and get on with what they're asked without complaint or backchat. A chat to thank them on their last day is enough and the promise of references. I don't expect them to send cards or gifts but a thank you email is lovely. Those tend to be sent by the best interns who you know will do well and have little trouble getting permanent jobs.

We used to send everyone a birthday card signed by everyone. When the department was less lean and before half the team worked from home for half the week, it was lovely. Now we are very lean, it's another chore. It's regrettable it's become a chore, but it just has. Cakes died years ago - partly because everyone wants to be healthy and somehow a bowl of strawberries doesn't give the same bang.

I’m of the gift down school. So I wouldn’t expect someone low paid to gift something to someone higher up. But a thank you email would be nice.

Blimey!

At my last place of work, admittedly a small company, they made a fuss for everybody's birthday. Usually cake and always a present from management. Sometimes we even used to go out for lunch.

Even during lockdown, when we were working from home, I got a present delivered to me on my birthday. A lovely hamper actually.

Gosh, I’d hate to work with those people who can’t stop for a moment to celebrate a colleagues birthday!