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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To bury him under the patio

80 replies

Sadmummy3 · 04/07/2025 07:30

I'm not actually going to bury DH under the patio (or maybe I will depending on poll results) but I'm tempted.
I can not cope with another night of broken sleep. He snores so loudly. You can hear him anywhere in the house. The kids hear him and I'm surprised that neighbours don't complain. We're semi detached so they must hear, even though our bed is as far away from connecting wall as possible.
I have to be fair. He's tried different snoring aids but they don't work. Sleep clinic have said it's sleep apnea and given him one of those machines but even that doesn't work properly ( he always removes it at some point in the night although he claims he doesn't remember doing so). So he will still wake me up at some point.
No family I can stay with and even booking in to a B&B won't work because we have a DS with additional needs and DH leaves early for work.
His work is so flexible. People actually do phone up in the morning and say they're taking holiday. Last night I asked if he would go in a bit later if I was awake in the night, not the whole day just an hour and a half so he could take DS to school and I could sleep a bit.
Last night he said I'll see, this morning it was no.
I can't sleep after I take DS to school as he's only there 90 minutes.
I'm so fed up. I feel ill all the time because I don't sleep properly. Even when DH gets home I can't nap as he struggles with DS on his own.
So I don't know. Perhaps I should bury him under the patio or is that unreasonable.

OP posts:
Dogladycrazy · 04/07/2025 07:41

I sympathise! The thing that worked for us was Snorban which is one of those mouth guards that keep his jaw aligned and stops it flopping back when muscles relax, which is what causes the noise. Also white noise ear buds for you, or a sleeping pillow speaker? And a bigger bed if possible! They also say for them to have less alcohol and to lose weight if overweight. Can you go to bed slightly earlier than him so you get an hour of unbroken sleep then? And then he tiptoes in? I think he needs encouraging to see that it’s having a huge impact on you and your health, and for him to do what he can to help. Good luck! Xx

ThreePointOneFourOneFiveNine · 04/07/2025 07:40

Does he stop if he rolls onto his side? I’d wake him up and ask him to move. I used to do that with my DH and he never remembered in the morning. He doesn’t seem to snore so much these days.

crumblingschools · 04/07/2025 07:38

Do you have anywhere in the house either of you can decamp to, sofa bed, spare bedroom?

Billybagpuss · 04/07/2025 07:36

Is he a healthy weight and does he drink?

DH used to keep me awake a lot, I used the poking him or cuddling to keep him on his side option. Both work.

last year he got obsessed with Zoe gut health stuff, he didn’t drink much anyway but cut that down too. It has made a huge difference.

Also agree with pp that he should support you to allow you to catch up a bit in the morning.

but no yanbu tbh your ds couldn’t cope with you going to prison so sleeping downstairs on the sofa or spare room is probably a better legal option.

AlertCat · 04/07/2025 07:35

While your DH is trying to solve the problem, I do think it’s within reason for him to support you a bit more to catch up on sleep when he isn’t there snoring. It’s pretty inconsiderate for him just to refuse what is on the face of your description quite a small thing for him to accommodate.

Do you have a shed or a campervan one of you could sleep in? Not even joking. Snoring is the worst. I’m guilty more than my H is 😬