Have I torched everything?

I'd let this one go.

I go on holiday without my husband and he goes away for Rugby weekends without me.

We both have very different hobbies and do these as and when we like.

We don't have children to arrange care for though so that helps with freedom.

I couldn't live with fighting for being an hour later than expected x

He has given you a way out, take it. He is showing controlling behaviour and his silent treatment is abusive. Please look after yourself and your daughter, and stay safe. I hope you are ok.

Well it can be if one of the parties want it to be.

OP someone very close to me is in an abusive marriage with three small children. No violence (that we know of) but controlling and coercive behaviour like this sort of thing you’re describing. She is trapped because if she leaves him he’ll have unsupervised access to the kids. She’s playing a long game but it’s a terrible, heartbreaking situation and an utter waste of her good years.

You are at a crossroads. Please don’t pursue this. Please call it a day. It doesn’t need to be like this.

This happens so often to women who leave an abusive relationship.

The next guy isn't as bad (maybe he isn't physically abusive) so they somehow think it's more acceptable than the previous relationship.

Abuse & control is out of order no matter what scale it's on.

Leave this relationship and stay single until you can find a non abusive man.

1. your partner should be cheering you on that you went out with your colleagues and feeling really happy you had a good time. From your post, I read that you don’t socialize much without your partner so this was a big step and a success for you.
2. I’m really pleased you went out and enjoyed yourself - your world isn’t limited to your family at all.
3. his reaction was miles off where it should be- happy for you, taking pride in your success and encouraging you to go out again to deepen those work contacts and friends.
4. I don’t know the in and out of your relationship but I feel sad for you and seriously - keep seeing your pals and work friends. I don’t know what else to say as his behavior was really off.

You're currently in abusive relationship. Leave him.

Never was a username so apt. This is so much more than a row!

You are having a row, it's not the end of the world, and it won't last forever. Further, it won't be the last one that you ever have.

The trick is for both of you to manage your behaviour so that a minor row doesn't become terminal to the relationship.

At some point in the future you both need to discuss and agree on your expectations for when one of you goes out, but maybe wait until this has blown over.

You haven’t torched anything, you’ve shone a light on your partners true character

None of this is normal.

You have walked into another abuse relationship.

Everything you’ve written speaks of an abusive relationship.

I think you need to ditch him and get some therapy.

She’s literally marrying him, and was home by 9pm. Why the fuck is she marrying a man who cannot even out what will be his stepdaughter to bed one night?

He didn’t like you out and provoked you

Have I torched everything?

Hopefully. You're not a child who needs permission, you get to make those decisions.
Anyone not on board with that can fuck off.

Thankfully you get to see the light now rather than after the wedding. Onwards to better things.

That’s really really controlling, he was bullying you to come home from early on, if he cared about you he would encourage you to go out.

Then he then made comments about your drinking. You reacted to this because YOU KNOW what he was doing is wrong.

Get away from him.

Don’t ignore the warnings. You are in a really really controlling and toxic relationship, sorry it only became apparent now, but you were doing exactly what he wanted until yesterday.

Things were ok up to now, but now you need to be punished because you made him uncomfortable when you stepped out of line yesterday.

This is not going to get better. You know the story x

He is abusive and controlling, you are falling straight back into another abusive relationship.

You've got another abusive relationship. Please end it and get your daughter away from him.

So he can go out and have friends but you can't? The one time you do go out you are emotionally manipulated by him. This is coercive control and will only get worse after marriage. Believe me, I've been there, and it erodes your sense of self and you start to question everything.
Run fast and run far.
Use his time on London to change those locks.

Yes this was my question, he's still being a dick but if that's the first time he's looked after your daughter I would have made an effort to be back at the time arranged for her sake.

The pitting daughter to bed thing is a red herring here. It doesn't matter whose child it is. Any nice man would have said to her that
mummy deserves a nice night out and she would be back soon. He would have made her evening fun and allowed his partner to enjoy herself for a while longer. Two years with no nights out is a very long time.

You need to leave him. He is controlling and it will just get worse as time goes by. I hope you are able to see it.

Hes being controlling.

He was looking after your rather than his daughter? In which case I would have been home when I said. Other than that though, he is being unreasonable making a fuss about you going out