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Original poster

Disappointed in husband’s reaction to pregnancy test

196 replies

Weejayy · 03/07/2025 15:24

Hi all,

I (30f) was sitting on my sofa this morning researching TTC and had just taken a pregnancy test because my period is late.
My husband (30m) walks in says good morning and sits down.
he says ‘oh wow, it’s already the third of July. Time goes so fast.’
i say ‘can you read this pregnancy test, I can’t tell if it’s negative.’
he says (no joke) ‘oh what a nice lamp.’
I’m confused and go ‘can you please read the pregnancy test?’
he says ‘that’s nice embroidery’ (on the cushion)
I’m like wth? So I say ‘you don’t care about the pregnancy test?’
he says ‘no, the pregnancy isn’t important. I said something and you ignored it.’
i go ‘what did you say?’
he storms out and says I treat him badly.

I came back this afternoon from work and he acted like nothing is wrong. Meanwhile, I’m seething. I’m pretty sure the test was negative, will check again tomorrow but I’m so angry. What if that had been me telling him I was pregnant?

For context, we’ve been ttc for 3 years now. Had an early miscarriage at 8 weeks in September last year and a late (16 week) miscarriage in May this year. He was always like ‘oh that’s cool’ when I told him about the first one, and a bit cautious but happy about the second one when I told him I was pregnant.

I find this reaction a bit much though. I get he wanted me to say something about time going fast but to completely dismiss a pregnancy test over it? Am I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
Original poster
Weejayy · 03/07/2025 15:47

GoatGoatGoat · 03/07/2025 15:46

Have you forgotten his birthday or an anniversary or something? Not really sure why he mentioned the date and then was weird with you when you didn't reply. I'm confused by the whole scenario.

Nope, our anniversary is in August and his birthday in September

OP posts:
ZoggyStirdust · 03/07/2025 15:46

Weejayy · 03/07/2025 15:43

i said good morning, but was distracted because I was on my phone and trying to work out if I’d tested too early and I didn’t reply to the 3rd of July comment. That’s why he was annoyed and pointedly talking about the lamp. I was a bit bewildered at the time, but now I think that’s why he was annoyed.

Show quote history

Tbh if you ignored me as you were on your phone then started trying to engage me in what you wanted to say I’d feel a bit grumpy.

more so if it’s a regular thing

yes of course a pg test is important but in that moment I can understand his feelings

HistoricalOrchard · 03/07/2025 15:46

Be completely honest - what is your relationship like? Any obvious issues? Any little niggles? Is there anything you don’t like but think “oh he’s apologised and I’m sure he’ll mature and won’t be like that later on” because it’s not going to improve and it will only get worse after kids.
He won’t change and when you have kids, all his negative traits will be amplified.

GoatGoatGoat · 03/07/2025 15:46

Have you forgotten his birthday or an anniversary or something? Not really sure why he mentioned the date and then was weird with you when you didn't reply. I'm confused by the whole scenario.

Original poster
Weejayy · 03/07/2025 15:45

Lucynow · 03/07/2025 15:39

He was very clearly making a point that he’s fed up of the process and talking about it op

what a very peculiar exchange. Him doing this weird jokey avoiding the issue and you pushing him to look at your pregnancy test

I think you’re right. I was just so bewildered by the reaction!

OP posts:
Original poster
Weejayy · 03/07/2025 15:43

Hellomeee · 03/07/2025 15:41

Dp and I had pretty much the exact same reactions to pregnancy tests as your DH after 7 years of trying. It was such a non event because they were always negative. We did eventually get pregnant and the attitude quickly turned from not bothered to absolutely buzzing when that second line came up. We just couldn't hype it up every month as it only brang disappointment.

I’m sorry it was such a long journey for you. Maybe you’re right, he’s just done with it.

OP posts:
Original poster
Weejayy · 03/07/2025 15:43

BMW6 · 03/07/2025 15:40

What did you say in response to his 'Good morning" and his remark about the date?

i said good morning, but was distracted because I was on my phone and trying to work out if I’d tested too early and I didn’t reply to the 3rd of July comment. That’s why he was annoyed and pointedly talking about the lamp. I was a bit bewildered at the time, but now I think that’s why he was annoyed.

OP posts:
PashaMinaMio · 03/07/2025 15:42

He’s not that into the idea of pregnancy or becoming a father with you.

Read between the lines! It’s not what he’s saying, it’s what he’s not saying.

My advice for what it’s worth? Stop TTC and think very seriously about a future with this twat of a knob-head “man.”

Hellomeee · 03/07/2025 15:41

Dp and I had pretty much the exact same reactions to pregnancy tests as your DH after 7 years of trying. It was such a non event because they were always negative. We did eventually get pregnant and the attitude quickly turned from not bothered to absolutely buzzing when that second line came up. We just couldn't hype it up every month as it only brang disappointment.

BMW6 · 03/07/2025 15:40

What did you say in response to his 'Good morning" and his remark about the date?

Lucynow · 03/07/2025 15:39

He was very clearly making a point that he’s fed up of the process and talking about it op

what a very peculiar exchange. Him doing this weird jokey avoiding the issue and you pushing him to look at your pregnancy test

Ribecx · 03/07/2025 15:37

Lucynow · 03/07/2025 15:28

You two aren’t ready to be parents op

and I’m not sure this marriage will ever be ready for children

This ^

Sorry OP. This just isn't the way mature adults behave in relationships. Neither his actions, nor your responses, are particularly healthy.

Based on your post, you are not ready to be parents together. Maybe the relationship isn't right for you.

AtrociousCircumstance · 03/07/2025 15:37

Or he might also have a lot of feelings about the MCs and not have processed them - and maybe that caused his weird behaviour.

You did ignore his first comment. Which was of course an inconsequential throw away remark, and in no way of the same order as your pg test comment - but if it’s in the context of him often feeling ignored it might make sense? Only you know. He might just be being selfish and immature.

Couchpotato3 · 03/07/2025 15:37

He really is the centre of his little world isn't he, and a nasty piece of work. If that's his attitude, I think you're better off without him. Don't waste any more time TTC with this idiot. You can do so much better.

Original poster
Weejayy · 03/07/2025 15:35

theDudesmummy · 03/07/2025 15:34

There is a bit missing here. He said "I said something and you ignored it". What did you say and when was this? He sounds annoyed with you, with the "nice lamp" stuff, but we can't tell why and if he is being reasonable or not if we don't have the whole story?

He meant the very first thing he said, the ‘wow it’s the 3rd of July, time goes by so fast.’

OP posts:
theDudesmummy · 03/07/2025 15:34

There is a bit missing here. He said "I said something and you ignored it". What did you say and when was this? He sounds annoyed with you, with the "nice lamp" stuff, but we can't tell why and if he is being reasonable or not if we don't have the whole story?

Ageismlives · 03/07/2025 15:32

I'm so sorry OP but it sounds as though his mindset is there isn't going to be a good outcome to the attempts to have a baby so he is no longer interested.

Inthesmallclouds · 03/07/2025 15:32

Do not ttc with this man

Lucynow · 03/07/2025 15:28

You two aren’t ready to be parents op

and I’m not sure this marriage will ever be ready for children

Mrsttcno1 · 03/07/2025 15:27

I’d stop TTC with this man, immediately.

UnfashionableArtex · 03/07/2025 15:25

Sorry but he's clearly not as invested in a pregnancy/child as you are.