Disappointed in husband’s reaction to pregnancy test

I think people are bring harsh about your husband. Telling you he’s selfish and to end the relationship 🤦🏻‍♀️ In my opinion it sounds like he’s fed up with all the ttc and all of the disappointment. Maybe he wants a break from it? Maybe he hasn’t dealt with the grief of losing the babies yet? Everyone is different, you just need to communicate properly over what you both want. Maybe try relationship counselling

How often does this happen? Is he fed up of the constant tests?

I can't see this relationship having legs, especially when it comes to parenting together.

His initial comment was anyway pretty rhetorical and not necessarily warranting response, even if you hadn't been understandably distracted at the time.

Then he immediately threw his toys out with his passive aggressive comments about the lamp and cushions. Attention seeking, gas lighting twat.

Not worth the years of regret with this one.

Sorry about your losses heartbreaking. I just want to give you hope. You obviously love and know your husband better than everyone on here. Do you think he is trying to protect himself and you from heartbreak again? I was in similar situation with my husband lots of losses and he detached himself emotionally due to it. Do you think that could be the reason? We went on to have two beautiful daughters and he worships them and is the best husband and dad x

He came into the room, greeted you and made a light social comment. You were of course preoccupied, but not only did you make no reply to his comment you didn't even bother to greet him. Just straight in with the look at this pregnancy test command, excluding everything else to the extent that when he protested via making deliberately irrelevant remarks you didn't notice that he had any right to be offended.

Trying to conceive does naturally dominate your thoughts, but that doesn't make it okay to ignore basic courtesies - or to expect his thinking to be identical to yours.

Seems to me you would have been better responding to that 3rd of July thing first before moving on to the test. That's how I read your account of the conversation. He was trying to say something and you totally ignored it and pivoted. That would really wind me up. Have you perhaps forgotten something that matters to him? Also the other information you shared about previous losses might make him very arms length about early pregnancy. Failing to display emotion isn't the same as not having any. I don't necessarily agree with those saying he's not up for having kids.

"hasnt time gone quickly" = we have only just lost a child and I am
not ready..

"look at that embroidery" = I would rather look anywhere than that test I cant bear the pain.

He is still processing..cut him some slack. Doesn't sound like a mean person to me just someone trying to protect themselves from
pain.

Dh and I had a massive argument one xmas day as he felt all we did was think about getting pregnant. Every thing we did revolved around it. Did you even look at him and sat good morning before thrusting a test in his face.

Go back a step and start looking for him and not a revolving draw of ovulation and pregnancy tests. Maybe take a month off trying. You

In hindsight he was right. I was obsessed and he was going along with it.

Maybe he's afraid of another setback, and can't face another pregnancy at this time. Give him time. I've been there, it hurts men too. Ask him?

He is not interested in having a child with you. Face up to it. But why has this not been discussed?

So sorry but I agree with many others saying I don’t think he sounds bothered.
can totally understand you being distracted and consumed with the pregnancy test that you didn’t respond to his comment but why did he react so childishly, is this usual for him?

Losing a baby at 16 weeks, 4 months into your pregnancy less than 2 months ago is a pretty big deal. Maybe he’s not over that yet? I think I’d still be heavily affected and scared. People can show fear and anxiety in weird ways. That’s my take on the situation. He probably hasn’t properly processed that yet, and doesn’t want to acknowledge it over fear of it happening again, anxiety or grief.

Sorry OP just found your update. Glad you took the plunge and asked him about it and that you are feeling a bit better about the conversation. Wishing you both all the best

This is why I thank my lucky stars that I am single. The guy sounds like a sadistic, narcissistic misogynist. He disrespects you by not listening, seemingly has no respect for your health and wellbeing. Unless you want to carry on like a doormat plus toxic drama then get the hell out. Honestly, we are not in medieval times anymore, neither are we commodities.

Childish comments like. Oh is it this time already. Look at that lamp. Look at that cushion is just trying to stop her discussing it at all..

What's that about?
Does he expect her to go through the whole process of TTC and MCs and keep the boring details away from him as its really beneath his notice and only tell him when she's come up with a positive result. Its not a work project that he's farmed out.

Quite a few pps sympathetic for him, saying he's bored of talking about it. Well he can use his words can't he? Instead of talking about cushions and then complaining about being ignored, he can articulate what his problem is. Because at the moment its coming across as I don't want to have children anymore and as OP clearly does, she needs to know. If he doesn't think that then he also needs to tell her that too.

I'm sorry but I don't think you should have a child with this man. Parenthood is not something to be entered into lightly and he clearly isn't as invested as you. His reaction was weird and it will never get better.

If they wanted to, They would. Same here if he was interested he would show it. I would stop trying to conceive with this man immediately he clearly isn't as invested as you are

The people defending her DP are being quite dramatic. ‘Shit stirring’, ‘screeching’ and ‘shame on you’. It’s interesting.

But, yes. He clearly behaved poorly. And also quite strangely.

and? Doesn’t mean you weren’t shit stirring does it?

I’ve replied to one comment 😂

He clearly did carry on trying - OP was too engrossed in the test. Let’s be real, you’re both shit stirring now. The issue has been resolved. What a sad life it must be to try and carry on blaming the DP when he’s obviously been upset about the prior miscarriage. Shame on you both.

Agreed. Communication should be easy between partners, not “NO, I’ve said a sentence, respond to my sentence then you can say your sentence”

How on earth can you this is perfectly normal behaviour? Is this how you behave, so you’re looking to justify it? As it’s really really not okay.

To be so miffed that someone ignores a throwaway comment that you ignore everything they say afterwards, regardless of seriousness? No, it is not.

I’m neither screeching nor exaggerating. The person who seems overwrought is you.

ForZanyAquaViewer

Don't be daft it's completely normal to be miffed if someone ignores you! 🙄

Why are you exaggerating it? Are you one who screeches LTB at the drop of a hat? Not enough Drama to entertain you?