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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if anyone else found it hard handing over their savings to buy a house?!

58 replies

Kitchenbattle · 03/07/2025 15:02

😅 it’s such a first world problem I know…but no one tells you how hard it is to hand over everything you have saved for years (and yes I know you get a house in return!) but looking at your bank accounts after is gutting in one way…Isn’t it? Anyone else feel this way? 😅

OP posts:
IzzyN · 04/07/2025 22:21

Some classic MN humble bragging here!

ThreePointOneFourOneFiveNine · 04/07/2025 22:19

I voted YABU, not because I think you’re being unreasonable to feel that way, but to indicate that I didn’t feel that way. Our first house we only had a small deposit anyway (different times), we then stepped off the ladder and rented for a few years, so kept the money from the sale in the bank and kept adding to it where we could. The financial markets were pretty uncertain at the time we bought our second house so I was mainly relieved to have our money securely locked away in a house again. I’d been worrying that things would go so badly wrong the amount we had would not be enough for a deposit.

PepsiForEva · 04/07/2025 22:17

Yes! I am fiscally conservative and having a large chunk of money somewhere i could see it was comforting.

I panicked when we bought out house. The mortgage payments though were slightly less than our rent so I was ridiculously tight until I got a chunk saved again. (And then the boiler broke and the clutch on our car needed replacing).

comeandhaveteawithme · 04/07/2025 22:14

Kitchenbattle · 04/07/2025 21:21

No one said the were sad…i certainly didn’t…I said it was HARD to hand over the money. It’s a big deal…clearly as many others agree.

Show quote history

Ok. I don't get it but OK

Original poster
Kitchenbattle · 04/07/2025 21:21

comeandhaveteawithme · 04/07/2025 20:21

OK, but you've got a house with it?

I don't get what the problem is.

Like, I can understand working hard and making sacrifices and still not being in a position to save enough for a deposit, but I don't get being sad about buying the thing you've been saving for?

Don't buy it then?

Just a strange and self indulgent post

Show quote history

No one said the were sad…i certainly didn’t…I said it was HARD to hand over the money. It’s a big deal…clearly as many others agree.

OP posts:
comeandhaveteawithme · 04/07/2025 20:21

iamnotalemon · 04/07/2025 17:30

Oh for goodness sake. I’ve worked bloody hard to save my deposit over SIX YEARS. Yes I am fortunate to be in this position but that’s down to my hard work and for making sacrifices.

Show quote history

OK, but you've got a house with it?

I don't get what the problem is.

Like, I can understand working hard and making sacrifices and still not being in a position to save enough for a deposit, but I don't get being sad about buying the thing you've been saving for?

Don't buy it then?

Just a strange and self indulgent post

iamnotalemon · 04/07/2025 17:30

comeandhaveteawithme · 04/07/2025 13:26

What a tone deaf post.

My heart bleeds for you all

Oh for goodness sake. I’ve worked bloody hard to save my deposit over SIX YEARS. Yes I am fortunate to be in this position but that’s down to my hard work and for making sacrifices.

McCartneyOnTheHeath · 04/07/2025 15:42

Yes! My deposit was about three years' salary. I was genuinely sad that taking an extended break from work would no longer be an option for me. Not that I particularly wanted to, but still...

Original poster
Kitchenbattle · 04/07/2025 15:38

comeandhaveteawithme · 04/07/2025 13:26

What a tone deaf post.

My heart bleeds for you all

@comeandhaveteawithme people buy houses every day all over the world. I have spent YEARS saving for my own home. It’s a privilege yes…but that doesn’t mean it can’t be hard to hand over your cash…our feelings are 100% valid

OP posts:
FancyBiscuitsLevel · 04/07/2025 13:32

I know what you mean. When we bought this house, it was taking nearly everything we had. While we had been saving for a house, and this is what the money was for, it being there was a good safety net for other stuff. So if we’d needed to replace the car or suddenly had a big bill, or at the time we had family living overseas and in an emergency could just book long haul tickets and go. But this meant we no longer had that back up fund.

The reality was our mortgage was slightly less than our rent had been monthly, plus we had been saving while renting and continued to save, so we did build back up an emergency pot, at the time not having a way to cover those “oh fuck” moments felt scary!

comeandhaveteawithme · 04/07/2025 13:26

What a tone deaf post.

My heart bleeds for you all

iamnotalemon · 04/07/2025 13:25

AquaCat93 · 03/07/2025 20:07

I remember when I had the cash deposit sitting in my current account - I thought, that's the most money that will ever be in there, shall I run away? 😂

I also remember a similar feeling when I got my first car (quite late in life) - filling it with petrol I was like wow look at the number going up and the money just pouring away 😂

That’s how I feel now, shall I just run away with the money 🤣

Original poster
Kitchenbattle · 04/07/2025 10:31

AquaCat93 · 03/07/2025 20:07

I remember when I had the cash deposit sitting in my current account - I thought, that's the most money that will ever be in there, shall I run away? 😂

I also remember a similar feeling when I got my first car (quite late in life) - filling it with petrol I was like wow look at the number going up and the money just pouring away 😂

Yep, hopefully one day I’ll just have saving a that are just savings…and they can be a fall back for anything at all. Not being saved for a certain reason

OP posts:
AquaCat93 · 03/07/2025 20:07

I remember when I had the cash deposit sitting in my current account - I thought, that's the most money that will ever be in there, shall I run away? 😂

I also remember a similar feeling when I got my first car (quite late in life) - filling it with petrol I was like wow look at the number going up and the money just pouring away 😂

Original poster
Kitchenbattle · 03/07/2025 20:02

DisforDarkChocolate · 03/07/2025 18:59

I missed having savings so much.

Yes, it’s gonna take quite a while to build them back up again 😅

OP posts:
iamnotalemon · 03/07/2025 19:45

I’m facing this at the moment and it’s been great having the security of savings for the last few days. Obviously I am getting a house in return but it feels very scary! Not to mention whether it’s the right decision. I am driving myself bonkers!

DisforDarkChocolate · 03/07/2025 18:59

I missed having savings so much.

AnnaQuayInTheUk · 03/07/2025 18:57

We moved house nearly 3 years ago - our 4th house purchase but more expensive than our old house. I was (sort of) ok with handing over the cost difference as we're getting a lovely house in return, but the other moving costs really stung. Especially the £30k in stamp duty!

Original poster
Kitchenbattle · 03/07/2025 18:25

mindutopia · 03/07/2025 17:22

We had a deposit of about £350k when we bought our house. Over a decade of saving and a bit of inheritance very painfully acquired. I wasn’t sad to see if go because we have a beautiful house that I absolutely love and hope to live in the rest of my life. But calling the bank to just send it off into the ether was very surreal. And as much as they go through all the fraud questions and you double check the solicitor’s account, I kept thinking, what if it’s gone somewhere random? 😬

🤣🤣 yes! That was nerve wracking! Not quite 350k but 100k deposit was a lot to let go of…

OP posts:
mindutopia · 03/07/2025 17:22

We had a deposit of about £350k when we bought our house. Over a decade of saving and a bit of inheritance very painfully acquired. I wasn’t sad to see if go because we have a beautiful house that I absolutely love and hope to live in the rest of my life. But calling the bank to just send it off into the ether was very surreal. And as much as they go through all the fraud questions and you double check the solicitor’s account, I kept thinking, what if it’s gone somewhere random? 😬

Original poster
Kitchenbattle · 03/07/2025 16:55

GasPanic · 03/07/2025 15:42

The mechanics of it scared the crap out of me.

But handling over the money, no. It was the right decision and has saved me a fortune.

I have found the whole process much much smoother and easier than I imagined it would be to be honest, that surprised me a lot!

OP posts:
GasPanic · 03/07/2025 15:42

The mechanics of it scared the crap out of me.

But handling over the money, no. It was the right decision and has saved me a fortune.

Starlight1984 · 03/07/2025 15:40

Yep it's a killer 😅

Drew79 · 03/07/2025 15:16

It didn't bother me, because it was saved very specifically to buy a house and get out of a crap area into a good one with good schools.
All you can do I suppose it retain a portion of it that gives you the feeling of security, and think that you will rebuild those savings iver time.

Think of the mortgage statement difference between what you and owe and the house value as being your 'savings'

Original poster
Kitchenbattle · 03/07/2025 15:16

afaloren · 03/07/2025 15:14

Yes, to go from having tens of thousands in the bank to owing the bank much more than that was scary! I do love our house though and I look forward to one day owning it outright.

Oh I do love my new house though! 🥰 I could cry happy tears for that, it’s such an emotional time 😅

OP posts: