Anyone else have self absorbed parents and PIL's?

This is my in-laws. Never ask about my new job, or ask much about the kids, or even show much interest in their own son. We just get told about what their favourite child and grandchildren are up to, or a story about something in their lives that they’ve already told us before. I have perfected the nod and smile.

I find the opposite. I listen for hours to my adult children and they rarely ask anything about me.
Their lives are more stressful than mine.

I could have written this about my in-laws.

They do have their moments when they do ask about what's going on in my life and their other relatives lives, but it does revert to 'when I was' stories very quickly.

Can absolutely relate. If I get a word in edgeways my dad will immediately turn it back to him. I think poor hearing along with loneliness have made it worse (and not having my mum to nudge him). Phonecalls are fine as I can get on with other things. Visits are more tricky though - it's a real shame.

My mum is a bit like this. She will ask "how's the girls?" (My two young adult DDs) but after a quick answer she'll go on and on about herself, what she's read on her tablet, what the neighbours are up to etc. she has no interest whatsoever in my life and never asks how I am or what's going on in my life. If I ever mention illness she will have something worse, if not immediately then by the following day. If I should speak to her again within the next two days then she tells me all the same stuff again about herself and the neighbours because she's forgotten she's told me.

I think there's a lot of truth in this. They had years of hearing from their self-absorbed teenagers and young adults who had no interest in what their parents were doing.

I think also a lot of people have given so much of themselves to other people by that age that they probably do think it’s about time things were about them instead! If you think they’ve brought up children, probably had to help out with their own parents/in-laws and work and other commitments in the community, it’s no wonder some of them spend their later years being more focused on themselves.

Very relatable, my father has never been particularly interested but now dinners are a me me me slog. I won a major prize at work for which my in laws raised a toast in congratulations at dinner, my father “good, well anyway” and straight back to talking about himself. Worse with both age and without having my mother with us to boot him under the table.

Yes, it is an age thing. Try to bear in mind (although it's difficult) that they've got far fewer years left on this earth than they have behind them. They could of course live to be 100, but there's no guarantee, and that still only gives them 26 years of life. Much of that won't be quality time or much fun either. Their health, cognitive or physical, could easily fail within the next 5 or 10 years. There's also the certainty that one of them will be left alone sooner rather than later too. If you view it from that angle, it's easier to see why "self absorption" creeps in.

Very relatable. My friends and I have recently been discussing similar as particularly our mothers have become more self centred. Maybe it’s an age thing. Maybe it’s a covid hangover, when everyone’s lives got smaller?
Or maybe our lives are just dull and uninteresting to them?
My mother tells me about her plans and news and then everyone else’s plans and news before she asks about mine, if she does at all.
Eg. I completed a triathlon recently and she didn’t even mention it until I brought it up myself after 3 hours of chatting including hearing all about her friend’s husband’s operation etc etc.