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AIBU?

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To be upset by PILS choice of celebration meal.

581 replies

Shardlake63 · 03/07/2025 09:10

My PILs have just celebrated a significant wedding anniversary.
As part of that celebration, they hosted dinner in a private room at a local (to them) restaurant for their extended family - about 20 of us in total.
I am definitely not a picky eater. I eat pretty much everything, except salmon (which I am allergic to - it brings me out in a very itchy rash) and lamb (which I have always hated, and even the smell makes me want to throw up). My PILs are fully aware of this.
We travelled the best part of 200 miles to attend this dinner, not to mention the cost of an overnight stay in a local hotel as relatives with spare rooms were already full with their own sons/daughters and families staying overnight.
The meal was a set dinner - no choice or alternative was offered.
First course was smoked salmon, which I could not eat due to my allergy. Fair enough, I thought I would just fill up on the main course. However, the main course turned out to be a roast lamb dinner.
Apart from the smell of it knocking me sick, I couldn't even just eat the veg as it came to the table already smothered in a lamb based gravy.😥
I ended up just eating the dessert - a slice of lemon cheesecake - which was lovely, but hardly a satisfying substitution for what should have been a 3 course dinner.
AIBU to be upset at the lack of thought and consideration here? I was quite happy to forego the starter, but most restaurants do at least offer a vegetarian alternative for the main, which I would have been more than happy with. I also eat beef, chicken, pork, turkey, duck etc. and other fish (including shellfish) - I am not a fussy eater by any stretch of the imagination, so it would not have been difficult for my in-laws to ask the restaurant to provide me with an alternative to the lamb.
As it was, I had barely any dinner and by the time the meal was finished it was too late for me to eat anywhere else.
Am I being unreasonable to think they could at least have ordered me a vegetarian alternative in the full knowledge that I wouldn't be able to eat/didn't like their choice of set meal?

OP posts:
Gall10 · 03/07/2025 09:17

The thread title says it all…..THEIR CHOICE
OK so you can’t eat the salmon
you could have had the main course & just left the meat…or do what I do with tomatoes-pass it onto your partners plate.
Why the fuss & entitlement?

Teacaketravesty · 03/07/2025 09:17

I think you are a ‘fussy eater’ but that doesn’t make you a bad person! How awful that you couldn’t even have the side dishes. It does sound thoughtless of your in-laws, especially wrt your allergy. I guess they chose their favourite foods? I think I’d have asked the waiting staff to take your plate away & bring me something else, whatever they could, easily, but I can eat anything, even if I don’t like it, and do understand that when you can’t, it’s a sensitive subject and you don’t want to make a fuss.

Poopeepoopee · 03/07/2025 09:16

Invite them to yours for dinner next week and cook something really horrible really badly

Shesellsseashellsnotinmystreet · 03/07/2025 09:15

Next time ils visit serve up a strict vegan 5 course meal...

Needmorelego · 03/07/2025 09:15

That does seem incredibly selfish of them to not offer you the vegetarian alternative (which surely the restaurant must do).
Others may have preferred that too.

jesihar · 03/07/2025 09:14

Well yes it was poor of them but I would have just asked the staff for the vegetarian option. Certainly would not have sat with nothing.

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