As briefly as I can put it: friend and I both come from the same small town, met at uni. Got on well, loads in common, but post-uni she was really only interested in meeting up once a year or so. I had attributed it to how far we lived from each other but actually at times when we lived nearer she was still reluctant to meet more, and it was often me coming to her when we did (but then I had slightly more money to travel etc). I always left our times together feeling weirdly sad and discombobulated - feeling like we'd both really had a good connection, finished up with lots more to say - but that through her actions she was telling me that actually she wasn't that interested. We now live really near, a few miles apart.
A few years ago I pulled back, stopped suggesting meetups after our Whatsapp exchanges. Our relationship became exchanging photos of the kids when she messaged me. I have a good number of friendships now that are more my cup of tea - people who I see very regularly, where we are really part of one another's lives.
She's now gotten in touch to ask about meeting up, she can come round my way etc. I don't want to be hurtful but can I politely say that I'm sorry but don't want to meet up? Catching up at such long intervals just doesn't feel like a friendship to me - I just feel sad and a bit confused. I feel like I'm breaking up with her, except I haven't seen her in - checks calendar - over two years!
Is it a hurtful message to send? Can I word it better?