Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Anyone awake? Need a hug!

37 replies

Hardythere · 03/07/2025 01:45

I’m lay in bed next to my 3 year old, waiting for him to be sick.
we spent almost 5 hours in A&E today, surrounded by sick kids, my DC rolling around the floor, playing with the toys that were there(I thought that died when Covid struck?!). I’m a quivering mess. I used alcohol gel on his hands a few times but that doesn’t do anything to norovirus.
incase you hadn’t already guessed, I have emetaphobia.
We were in A&E for something minor(in the grand scheme of things) and were eventually sent home with the issue unresolved, to go back to a specialist dept in the morning.
im so tired. Exhausted. I desperately need to sleep but I can’t/dint want to, incase he’s sick and I’m not ready for it
i know it’s not a given that he will be, but the chances have increased since being exposed to the germ soup!
I should take a diazepam, but they make me sleepy…

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Notashamed13 · 03/07/2025 20:13

I know you've not replied but today i had to take my 9yo dd to the doctors for a foot issue after school. You were literally my second thought (phobia being the first!) Sods bloody law we walked in to be greeted by a mum and small person with a "paint pot" as an empty receptacle. I'm now on tenterhooks like you have been, worst of all she went in to see the same doc just before us.....I have to confess that I opened the door with my t-shirt. Sending love x

Notashamed13 · 03/07/2025 13:41

Hope all is well OP x

JMSA · 03/07/2025 12:57

Have you always had a fear of sickness, OP? A gentle and genuine question! I just don’t see how it’s possible in parenthood and didn’t you have morning sickness? 😱
I hope all’s well today x

Steelworks · 03/07/2025 12:48

Have you been back to hispital? If so, hope all is well.

Original poster
Hardythere · 03/07/2025 12:37

footballfan1963 · 03/07/2025 09:29

How was your night OP?

Long. Think I managed about an hour. Alarm was set for 6.30. I’m knackered today.
but… no sick. So seeing it as a win for now

OP posts:
footballfan1963 · 03/07/2025 09:29

How was your night OP?

Original poster
Hardythere · 03/07/2025 03:28

SummerFrog25 · 03/07/2025 03:02

It's really not outing. It just feels like it xx

i hope DS is ok, for both your sakes!!

A&Etoys cleaned daily. Whatever that piste is on, I want some!!

I don't like the communal tits at the dentist etc. let alone A&E. I try to take things of ours that will distract them!

I am always amazed that duffetdd er s if emetophobia have chikdren. That the pregnancy alone doesn't put you/ them off. Let alone the baby/child.

get some sleep. You'll cope better tomorrow if you do. Lights off & match your breathing to DS XX

Show quote history

Laughed at ‘communal tits’ 😂

OP posts:
Original poster
Hardythere · 03/07/2025 03:27

I’m still awake and the sun is on its way up. ‘Tis going to be a long-ass day. My mum is coming with me to the hospital appointment. Hope to god we’re not waiting ages.

OP posts:
SummerFrog25 · 03/07/2025 03:03

Hardythere · 03/07/2025 02:56

Well he’s just told me his ear doesn’t hurt and neither does his tummy… so that’s slightly reassuring.
I might go and make a coffee

No. Don't make coffee, go to sleep!!

HallidayJones6779 · 03/07/2025 03:02

If you can't sleep, get yourself settled with a warm drink (perhaps not coffee! Hot milk?) and try to not think about it. I don't have your fear and I HATE it when I'm anticipating the kids getting ill - sickness or otherwise. My 3 year old was just whimpering in bed and feels a little hot to touch... it makes my heart jump! I would be exactly the same as you in A and E. I always try to take some toys with me to avoid touching the toys there but it's so hard, especially if it's a long wait.

sending you hugs Op. remember, it's not guaranteed he'll get it and you would be better off trying to get a few hours sleep if you can xxx

SummerFrog25 · 03/07/2025 03:02

Hardythere · 03/07/2025 02:47

He keeps waking up and crying. Won’t tell me what’s wrong. Maybe his ear is hurting(why we were in A&E) or maybe tummy ache(please god no). Goes back to sleep with a bit of boob.
this is all very outing btw! Past caring now though

It's really not outing. It just feels like it xx

i hope DS is ok, for both your sakes!!

A&Etoys cleaned daily. Whatever that piste is on, I want some!!

I don't like the communal tits at the dentist etc. let alone A&E. I try to take things of ours that will distract them!

I am always amazed that duffetdd er s if emetophobia have chikdren. That the pregnancy alone doesn't put you/ them off. Let alone the baby/child.

get some sleep. You'll cope better tomorrow if you do. Lights off & match your breathing to DS XX

Original poster
Hardythere · 03/07/2025 02:56

Well he’s just told me his ear doesn’t hurt and neither does his tummy… so that’s slightly reassuring.
I might go and make a coffee

OP posts:
Steelworks · 03/07/2025 02:52

Virtual hug sent.

Original poster
Hardythere · 03/07/2025 02:47

He keeps waking up and crying. Won’t tell me what’s wrong. Maybe his ear is hurting(why we were in A&E) or maybe tummy ache(please god no). Goes back to sleep with a bit of boob.
this is all very outing btw! Past caring now though

OP posts:
Original poster
Hardythere · 03/07/2025 02:45

TheM55 · 03/07/2025 02:37

Completely agree with this. It is a horrible phobia to have, and difficult to overcome. Unless he already has norovirus though, there is nothing to suggest he will suddenly get it, even being in A & E. They can get noro from anywhere - school, softplay, transport. Being prepared is helpful as @Notashamed13 has said. My 5 were horrendously travel sick, and I still don't go anywhere without a "good quality no leaky supermarket plastic bag". Exposure can be helpful (all 5 got noro in one week once, and I was emptying the buckets like a pro by the end of it, but I would agree that the anticipation is worse than the event). I never sought any help for the phobia, and thinking back, I probably should have done. It's hard, but try and get some sleep, you waiting up just in case will just exhaust you, especially as nothing is likely to happen. But a BIG hug, I know how this feels xxx

Show quote history

You speak so much sense.
the last bug we had, all 4 of us got it, but a week apart. It was very odd. I suspect my bleaching may have had something to do with that.
that is my absolute worst fear. All coming down with that the same time. I think I’d actually die

OP posts:
Original poster
Hardythere · 03/07/2025 02:43

Steelworks · 03/07/2025 02:36

Actually, the last thing you need is a hug if you’re worried about catching germs…! (Trying to lighten the mood),

Virtual hugs will do!

OP posts:
TheM55 · 03/07/2025 02:37

Notashamed13 · 03/07/2025 02:05

Fellow emetophobe here, no advice but here's a virtual hug, it's such a debilitating phobia. If it's any help I always find that the anticipation is worse than the actual event, just make sure you are prepared (towels, bowl etc), good luck OP, you got this! Xx

Completely agree with this. It is a horrible phobia to have, and difficult to overcome. Unless he already has norovirus though, there is nothing to suggest he will suddenly get it, even being in A & E. They can get noro from anywhere - school, softplay, transport. Being prepared is helpful as @Notashamed13 has said. My 5 were horrendously travel sick, and I still don't go anywhere without a "good quality no leaky supermarket plastic bag". Exposure can be helpful (all 5 got noro in one week once, and I was emptying the buckets like a pro by the end of it, but I would agree that the anticipation is worse than the event). I never sought any help for the phobia, and thinking back, I probably should have done. It's hard, but try and get some sleep, you waiting up just in case will just exhaust you, especially as nothing is likely to happen. But a BIG hug, I know how this feels xxx

Steelworks · 03/07/2025 02:36

Actually, the last thing you need is a hug if you’re worried about catching germs…! (Trying to lighten the mood),

Original poster
Hardythere · 03/07/2025 02:27

footballfan1963 · 03/07/2025 02:23

Thinking of you OP, same phobia here.

It’s the pits isn’t it. I have 2 other DC in the house(older) and I’m the only ‘adult’. Need to get those 2 to school in the morning then try and not look like some demented mother when I turn up at the(bastard) hospital again

OP posts:
footballfan1963 · 03/07/2025 02:23

Thinking of you OP, same phobia here.

Original poster
Hardythere · 03/07/2025 02:22

mummybearSW19 · 03/07/2025 02:21

You can’t take a tablet and share a bed with your kid so forget that.

remember. Those toys are cleaned every day.

ans the really sick kids would be too sick to play with them
so you are safe.

try to sleep.
sending you hugs

I can assure you, these toys hadn’t been cleaned in a VERY long time. They were visibly dirty shudders

OP posts:
Original poster
Hardythere · 03/07/2025 02:21

Stroke the cat! I won’t strike her!

OP posts:
mummybearSW19 · 03/07/2025 02:21

You can’t take a tablet and share a bed with your kid so forget that.

remember. Those toys are cleaned every day.

ans the really sick kids would be too sick to play with them
so you are safe.

try to sleep.
sending you hugs

Original poster
Hardythere · 03/07/2025 02:20

Steelworks · 03/07/2025 02:16

I’m sorry you feel like this.

Were any of the kids you were with actually vomiting? If not, it’s unlikely your bed will be sick. Novo virus is a horrible bug, and if they had it, they woukd be too poorly to feel like playing. Chances are they had non-infectious illness like your dc.

There was one kid sat with his mum and one of those horrible paper bowls(god I hate the sight of them!) and another mum and dad with a small baby who were also clutching onto the evil bowl. I kept us well away from them of course. But you don’t know who’s sat where we did before we arrived. Didn’t see a cleaner once in the time we were there. I wanted to grab a bottle of bleach and squirt it all over those horrible grubby toys they were all slobbering over. I could cry just thinking about it

OP posts:
Original poster
Hardythere · 03/07/2025 02:17

Notashamed13 · 03/07/2025 02:13

And remember, it's not guaranteed!

I know. I’m flouting between this and ‘it’s inevitable after TODAY!’
the cat has joined us in bed and is happy I’m awake to strike her. Although she keeps walking over DC which isn’t ideal. Here’s me, trying not to move or breathe too deeply in case I wake him up. Then DCat just strolls across him and boops her nose onto his.
Eff off cat!!

OP posts: