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Original poster

Boy showed private parts to Dd in the pool

34 replies

Coconutstopickupinthemorning · 02/07/2025 22:00

Willy, penis..you get the gist.

Today I took my 6 year old to the swimming pool, she quickly made friends with a boy, looked maybe 8 ish, he seemed nice and they were playing lots in the pool. Lots of chasing games and on each other’s backs etc. Chatted to the mum a bit who was nice and when we left, he asked her to ask me if we could come at the same time tomorrow and I said maybe.
I was chatting to Dd in the car asking if she had fun etc, she said yes and liked the boy, but that he showed her his willy and she said ‘Eurgh!’ and that was that, she didn’t seem too bothered by it.
As I was driving back, I started thinking we won’t go back tomorrow because of him doing that, but that i’d make an excuse up to Dd,
I told Dh and he said boys do things like that and he’s only little and just messing about.
Dds best friend is a boy and I can’t see him ever doing something like that

Am I being over the top?

OP posts:
AnSolas · 02/07/2025 22:29

At eight the boy should understand that his penis should not be on public display in a swimming pool and that he should not "flashing" other children.

Sadly this type of action can indicate he has been groomed or been subjected to actual sexual abuse. So you are not over reacting.

I woud not minimise the act as boys will be boys but rather go with has not be taught that its rude but should have been told not to do that etc. and that if it happens again that your daughter stops interacting and comes to you to report what happened.

I would contact the pool just so the pool has a record of what happened.

OpalOwls · 02/07/2025 22:29

Something similar happened with a boy to my son in the past. I would avoid when they go completely and if you do bump into them again you have to be honest to the mum, because chances are he is doing it to other people because he finds it funny/rude

Original poster
Coconutstopickupinthemorning · 02/07/2025 22:21

dontcomeatme · 02/07/2025 22:09

He's older than your DD and should understand more at 8 years old. Or his parents should be telling him its private. My nephews do stupid stuff like this with each other! But never to strangers, that's not okay. You should say something to your DD. Very casual, but I would make sure she knows that it's unacceptable behaviour and to always come and tell you if anyone does something similar.

Yes. I wasn’t sure how to approach it, I didn’t want to worry her, I kept it casual, but did ask ig he asked her to do the same, she said no. I told her to tell him not to do it. I will mention again tomorrow that she should always tell me, it’s doing it without scaring her though, she’s still so young
Such a shame as they got on really well

OP posts:
Original poster
Coconutstopickupinthemorning · 02/07/2025 22:19

Ageismlives · 02/07/2025 22:09

I would be very concerned about this behaviour and I think your H is very much underplaying it.
Of course its not normal for an 8 year old boy to show his private parts to a younger girl who he has only just met and doesn't know.
I would be thinking up some other activity to do tomorrow that your DD will enjoy and just tell her you've decided to do that instead.

Yes, we’re definitely not going, I’ve already told her it’s closed tomorrow. We do go other times though, so am hoping he’s not there, if he is, I will mention it to his mum though. She seemed on the ball and quite strict with her two children, so I can see her telling him off and not being offended, if that makes sense

OP posts:
Original poster
Coconutstopickupinthemorning · 02/07/2025 22:16

Gastons5dozenEggs · 02/07/2025 22:08

I think by age 8 they should kind of know it isn't appropriate

Yes, I just didn’t like it at all

OP posts:
vincettenoir · 02/07/2025 22:10

I don’t think you are being over the top. At the same time your dh is not wrong that this is pretty common behaviour for small boys (although 8 seems a little old for it).

If it was a longstanding friend or a classmate you might need to have an awkward conversation with the mum so they can talk to the kid about it. But in your position, with a kid you only just met, I would do the same and just give it a swerve.

dontcomeatme · 02/07/2025 22:09

He's older than your DD and should understand more at 8 years old. Or his parents should be telling him its private. My nephews do stupid stuff like this with each other! But never to strangers, that's not okay. You should say something to your DD. Very casual, but I would make sure she knows that it's unacceptable behaviour and to always come and tell you if anyone does something similar.

Ageismlives · 02/07/2025 22:09

I would be very concerned about this behaviour and I think your H is very much underplaying it.
Of course its not normal for an 8 year old boy to show his private parts to a younger girl who he has only just met and doesn't know.
I would be thinking up some other activity to do tomorrow that your DD will enjoy and just tell her you've decided to do that instead.

Gastons5dozenEggs · 02/07/2025 22:08

I think by age 8 they should kind of know it isn't appropriate