To accept we will never move home due to the prices

In my area the next step up- a large 3 bed instead of 3rd being a box room or 4 bed are now unaffordable. They’ve all been extended into mega mansions so it’s either starter home or mansion. It’s insane.

This. When we moved to the next sized property we had no spare money .

We are in this same position.
We bought our house 7 years ago, and feel stuck here now. We were just two people when we got it, and it feels so small now we are a family of 3. Our little one has hardly any space to run around and play inside. Our hoover lives in the corner of a room, there isn't anywhere to store coats or shoes, etc. Can only fit drawers and wardrobe in one bedroom.

To get just a slightly bigger house (eg same number of beds but slightly bigger, ensuite to one room, utility room, hallway rather than through lounge to kitchen) we would be more than doubling our mortgage payments and I'm just not sure it is worth the sacrifices for such a minimal increase in space.

We are 2 bankers on excellent wages outside of London. No kids. Bought 1 bed flat in mid 20s and did manage to jump up to small 3 bed semi (one is a box room) 5 years later. We assumed that we’d be in “4 bed detached” territory in our mid thirties but simply cannot fathom the size of mortgage we’d need, the % of monthly income it would be and are just not comfortable with the number.

Luckily we are happily childfree or might consider having just 1 at some point so we don’t have concerns about bedroom space but we don’t have a driveway, garage or utility room etc etc that we always assumed we’d have. Our goal now is to pay off this mortgage asap and accept we won’t move up the ladder again unless we get a significant windfall i.e. lottery win!!!

What we have decided to spend money on is making the space work for us as much as possible. We swapped the bathroom and the boxroom to get a lovely walk in shower and rolltop bath and have converted the old bathroom to walk in wardrobe/dressing room. We paid a local carpenter to make the storage bespoke to our needs (cheaper than something like Hammonds, then painted ourselves). Our logic is that if we’re not selling, no need to present the boxroom as a 3rd bedroom for resale value, it’s more valuable to us to use the space in a way that works. Every room is decorated in bright bold colours perfectly to our taste (again, no concerns about resale value) and we invested in storage solutions- lounge has bespoke cupboards and shelves built around fireplace to improve space.

We have made decisions about colours, room use and spent more money than we work have done on a 5 - 10 year house. We’re also planning a garden room and have a long term plan to rework the layout of the kitchen diner. It’s not money we would spend if we wanted to reclaim/profit in a sale but as it’s now our forever home, the “value” to us is in how it improves our day to day living. It probably means we top the ceiling price of our street but as I plan on being here another few decades, I don’t have to worry about that.

Are there things you could do to the house that would improve your lifestyle but you had previously avoided due to concerns about selling? I’d make a list if choices you have with the assumption that you will stay and see if that makes you feel better about it?

If it doesn’t, maybe visit options to make a move work, but it’s worth exploring what is the “best” version of staying.

Compromise I suppose. We did UK camping holidays when the dc were small. Lived with old kitchens and bathrooms. Tried to do as much DIY ourselves as possible. Kept the same old 2nd hand car for years. One car only for the family. Budgeted for food. Rarely did days out where you needed to pay to get in. Small dc don't notice these things. It's not easy.

Part of me wonders if we should have moved to a cheaper area but I think I'd rather be here in a less than ideal house.

Have less stuff and enjoy a simpler lifestyle.

Sharing bedrooms or having a tiny room isn’t neglectful or bad for DC. Move away from believing you need the spacious Instagram home.

Getting rid of lots of stuff is freeing.

Fewer toys is proven to be better for kids.

Honestly, I really don't think a child would notice the size of a bedroom....young children don't spend much time in there anyway mainly only teens who just want a bed, space for clothes and a desk! It might not be ideal but don't see why it has to be a deal breaker 🤷‍♀️ Surely the benefits of having a sibling massively outweigh the drawbacks of a small bedroom.Even sharing in some cases (although I appreciate that's not the case for all kids....tried ours sharing for afew nights recently and it was a nightmare, so they could never do it all the time!) We have two girls and youngest will have a box room for the foreseeable future.

We're in a similar situation. We planned to only stay for 2 years, then life happened!

We are now in the position where we really need an extra bedroom but the cost of a bigger house would come at a huge cost to our lifestyle.

We just dont want to make that sacrifice so an attic conversion it is!

A lot of places have cheaper slightly less desirable areas or parts of areas quite nearby, could you consider slightly moving area? That's how a lot of people get more space and how areas become "up and coming"!

This was my first thought. I think when we moved we only ever had camping holidays for about 5 or 6 years. We overpaid as much as possible and things started to become more affordable as salaries rose etc. Then come the better holidays and other luxuries. It's always been this way.

You need to decide what you want from life. Expensive holidays or a bigger house.

A friend of mine who retired at 55 openly admits that they chose to stay in a smaller house with 2 kids which was a bit of a squeeze so that they could pay off the mortgage sooner and retire early. Top choice I think, she’s now galavanting here there and everywhere!

I wouldn’t let extending put you off, if that’s what would give you the space required (even if limited). Improving your home shouldn’t be about what you gain back when you sell, but what you gain by living there.

Or, is it worth moving out further to get what you need size and price wise? If that’s achievable with commuting to work?

We stayed in our first home and have extended to create the home we want. We figure we will be mortgage free much quicker this way and the thought of not giving more of our hard earned money to the bank is satisfying.

We did decide to stick at one as we felt the third bedroom wasn’t big enough for a child to be in.

We’re still in our (small) first home.
we started looking at moving about 10 years ago, and came to the conclusion that we would be moving to a bigger house but with the same amount of bedrooms and a drive instead of on street parking by spending a lot of money and having to extend our mortgage term. So instead we stayed here, can afford a nice lifestyle and will be mortgage free by 50!

Similar outlook here though I admit we have a 3 bed semi. Though third bedroom is a tiny box room. We decided to stay put rather than move up the ladder and prioritise experiences, etc. days out, holidays, not having to scrimp, not having to worry. I wouldn’t change anything. We could have had a 4 bed detached, we don’t need a 4 bed detached. Paid the mortgage off in my mid 40s.

Same, but I also feel lucky to have a house at all and a healthy, happy family. I looked into buying a 4 bed rather than tiny 3 bed and with most houses where I am it makes my mortgage 4x as expensive each month.

Well I still live in the 2 up, 2 down I bought 22 years ago. Saw the back of the mortgage may moons ago. Why put myself through all that scrimping and saving again, just so we can live in a bigger house? Life is short. It can be over in a split second. Even if it isn't, you won't be on your death bed thinking 'What a lovely big house we had...'.
If you have a secure roof over your head then I suggest staying as you are and wringing every last drop of enjoyment out of life.

Do,you have kids and if so How old are your kids? It might be easier if you get to a point with less childcare costs? You or dh might get promotions, etc?

They may mean they won’t even see their money back though, which is a very real risk.

Albeit - gives you the space you need, so less important over the longer term.

Limited extension potential too and I don’t think we’d necessarily see a return on that investment when selling.

I think people need to move away from the idea that you make a massive gain on property. Its not really realistic - the cost of doing work on a property tends to be almost as much as any value added unless you are in the trades and can do work for less.