To accept we will never move home due to the prices

It’s a choice between holidays /clothes/ meals out etc or bigger house.

😆

That’s a strong reaction to a quite sensible post

I think I differ slightly. What counts most for me is my home, my living space, it’s where I spend most of my time and there’s no way I’d compromise that just for some luxuries like holidays.

having a nice home space is vital for me and there are things I’d give up so I could have it

on this note that's how it goes. We are about to have an extension built to increase space but we dont' think we will see a return on investmemt, we will enjoy the extra space though.

More generally, I feel for you. we are in our forties and we bought 3 years ago house big enough that we're likely to stay in for most of the rest of our lives. We've only managed it due to a coupel of inheritances. However I worry a lot about how our chidlren will ever be able to afford anything at all.

Years ago people used to buy a terrace and live in it happily for life. People just make themselves sad and stressed by always chasing after the next house. Life is for living and money is for more than bricks.

Well no.
To go from a 2 bed to a 3 bed is about 25k moving costs and then £1000 pcm.
We can’t afford that.

Stop insinuating that if I stop getting my nails done, stop the takeaways and ordering shit off the internet and start budgeting we can have the bigger house.

It’s not viable. We already don’t have the luxuries. We don’t holiday or eat out !

You make my blood boil . Get in the real world and read the room.

Exactly, if children had to choose between a big bedroom to themselves or their parents having less stress and being able to be more present for them, I bet I could guess what they'd go for!

I always thought out two bed end terrace would be our first home together. We had our son and then another . They are 2 and 3. I have accepted that this ‘5 year starter home’ will now be our for ever home . The location. Is good but it is small and our children will have to share a bedroom. We are racking our Brians to see if we can extend but we have a small plot, we are end terrace and we can’t extend into the roof!
We earn 100k between us but the 3 bed , family home I thought and imagined us to have would mean that we were always skimping !!!!!! I worry if anything went wrong we would be very vulnerable financially. When we renewed our mortgage rate - we ended up with an increase of 400 a month!

So - I have accepted our starter home is our home. We can hopefully over pay our mortgage a little and be mortgage free by 50. We can go on holidays and afford to save and live a little ! But it is not the dream house !!!!!

Yes us! We are following my parents who still live in the house they bought when they married 50 years ago

The thing is that lots of “doing best for the kids” actually isn’t having a big home and fancy holidays - it’s about being together and having fun

teaching kids that fun doesnt need money is one of the best things you can teach them

younger generations are it seems less happy than those who grew up with nothing more

I imagine most people want to do what they consider is best for their kids at the time rather than looking to see where they could make savings for an early retirement.

People can do how they please but that sounds a bit shit

We could afford a larger house by now but we have chosen to stay in our smaller home, not over stretch ourselves, and hopefully be mortgage free sooner.

I definitely never envisaged staying in my flat as long as i have when i bought it, and other than stretching myself to the max or moving out to the sticks, I can't see me moving unless I come into some serious inheritance or win the lottery! But the mortgage is nearly paid off and maybe a couple more years to boost the pension pot and I'll be able to reduce my working hours. So every cloud n all that! And I'd rather go on holiday more than have a bigger house and a huge mortgage!

YANBU. The concept of the property ladder as it was, has disappeared now.

We are one up from the starter homes in our area

so a way off the nice detached bungalow we would have liked for this time of life but we are just happy having a home of our own

yes house buying has always involved trade offs for most people - you prioritise holidays now and that’s a different choice to my decades ( happy) camping

and yes I had a great job paying decent ish wages . I don’t really understand why people think that is enough for a life of luxury and having everything

I think when we moved we only ever had camping holidays for about 5 or 6 years. We overpaid as much as possible and things started to become more affordable as salaries rose etc. Then come the better holidays and other luxuries. It's always been this way.

Most people are paying higher mortgages & for longer these days. Through in wage stagnation etc & these aren't much better after a few years & the luxuries don't end up coming!

I grew up in a big house though and know you can be just as miserable in a big house as a small house. Financial stress will make you more miserable than having to be fairly ruthless in your decluttering.

Yes, I never expected to stay in our first house. We earn well but the next step up is ridiculous. No regrets. We do like our house and the kids have a (small) room each though.

The "ladder" doesn't really exist anymore.

We did the same - never moved on from our starter home. Only had one child due to it (among other reasons). However, we are happy now - bought young, so we will be mortgage-free in our early 50s, and have a decent lifestyle, with fairly low bills.

I feel you OP, I had to relocate 150 miles last year to be able to afford a bigger house.

If that isn't possible for you though, then I'd try and make my peace with the house you have- at least you have a home thats yours, and you may have a chance of paying off the mortgage sooner. I wouldn't personally have stretched myself for a bigger house at the expense of lifestyle, life's too short.

Personally I would rather a smaller home and be able to enjoy the experiences in life....they are what count most, making memories and life is too short not to be able to have those things.OP didn't mention expensive holidays just holidays in general! Everyone deserves to get away for a break and change of scenery sometimes, even if it's a cheaper holiday in the UK.

@Jc2001 I think the difference is now most people on average salaries cannot afford that next step up house at all, even if they have no holidays and no luxuries at all.

Personally I think houses these days are getting too big. Maybe think of it as the smaller the house the more environmentally friendly it is to run. It takes less effort to keep clean, which means you can use your saved time to go out and do activities - playgrounds, hiking, day trips to interesting places. Having cheaper repayments means your exposure to interest rate increases is reduced and gives you a good buffer if repayments rise a lot.

You can look at better storage options and declutter to make the most of the space you have.

Like you, I bought smaller than I could afford. Whilst an extra bedroom would be lovely, I've made changes that maximise the usage of space and I now use every area regularly instead of having space that was used occasionally.

Not quite the same situation, I am not quite in a starter home but when my then dh and I moved in 8 years ago we both agreed we could either move again or extend significantly. As it happens he’s now my exdh and I bought him out. In some ways it would have been better if we’d have sold for a fresh start but I decided staying here was better for the kids. I can’t afford to move or extend on my income alone so I’m focusing on getting the house how I want it without doing either of those things. And I’m trying to count my blessings, I’m very lucky to have been able to stay in this house rather than having to downsize to buy him out.