To not follow school uniform rules?

Then the schools should simply make the decision for them. Ultimately, a school isn’t a democracy.

I know primary is different but there were a number of non-uniform primaries near us, all very popular, and the absolute best of them all, consistently outstanding, was non-uniform. But when we visited a whole bunch of schools, there was zero difference between the kids, the staff and the atmosphere along the lines of clothing.

@Soontobe60 why should I? I sent DS to the best school for him, they really need to be sensible about uniform, especially so close to the end of term. Why on earth should parents be forced to spend money on things that their children will only get a couple of weeks wear out of?

Fortunately he’s no longer in education so it isn’t an issue any more.

Now I have to meet with the head of year to "discuss my concerns". Thats booked for Wednessday. My daughter can wear her boots until we have met. There will be less than 2 weeks at school by then.

Its ludicrous. I will phone on Tuesday to rearrange the meeting for later in the week because Im not wasting my time (and presumably the HOY has better things to do too). I'll just do that over and over if necessary until they either see sense or give up.

YABU. This has become a bigger deal than it should be because the school either didn't get or ignored or misunderstood your note about the shoes (a call or visit would have been better) and your daughter lied to you about the situation. You have a solution (keep the Wednesday meeting and talk to the school in person and explain), so unless you and/or your daughter's other parent are completely unable to get to the meeting, just go.

That’s sounds perfect to me.

School are being ridiculous. I'm glad your daughter is leaving.

@Divebar2021 - where I work, the students wear a branded polo shirt and sweatshirt, optional fleece in the winter. Black trousers or skirt. The uniform isn't gendered, it's simple and it's practical. I don't mind it.

So choose a school that doesnt have a uniform policy then!

Except some people who are autistic would absolutely hate to not be wearing the ‘correct’ shoes as they wouldn't like to be seen as a ‘rule-breaker’. The DD has been wearing shoes that both her and the school approve of, the DM doesnt want to buy her a replacement pair, which is understandable. The school dont want to amend their rules. Again, this is understandable as the reason for her not wearing the ‘correct’ shoes isnt because of her autism, it’s because her DM doesnt want to buy any more.

I’d ask the school to provide the undoubtedly numerous studies which show how the choice of school shoes affects learning 🤔 There must be lots of them to make schools so bloody pedantic on such ridiculous rules.

No way would I be buying new school shoes for such a short space of time. They won’t be any use for her new school and are a huge waste of money.

I bought DS a pair of shoes at the end of one term
because his school were being arseholes about the uniform, only to find they didn’t fit come September. That was nearly £50 wasted because his school were being picky. And don’t get me started on the £35 jumpers which looked like rags within a few weeks!

Im on board with a uniform but not ridiculousness around it.

My daughter goes to a school with a fairly extensive uniform of branded items and a nice heavy kilt type skirt ( nice in the heat) so I sympathise with the dilemma. I saw a school group at Waterloo yesterday and they were wearing a navy branded top and trousers and it looked comfortable and well… uniform. Much more practical than a kilt in this day and age.

Giving detentions for shoes is ridiculous without a discussion with the parent about why they’re not conforming. Children are not in the position to control what shoes they have and if you can’t afford it you can’t afford it.

It drives me mad. My son and daughter went to a school with no uniform. I loved it, many parents complained. They got a new headteacher. Guess what his Inbox was full of? Requests to have a uniform.

No you haven’t. You’ve said that she lied to you about the pencil case, which indicates that she didnt want to upset you by telling you it was about the shoes.

This.

apparently shirt tie and blazer and certain shoes make them learn more.

until it gets hot - like it is every year now - and then they can learn adequately in their PE kit and whatever trainers they wear for PE.

It’s like magic

You're not being difficult. Organise a conversation with the Head of Year/Key Stage to get an exemption for your daughter.

Thank. You. I have been a teacher for many, many years and it's been a massive pain throughout. However, every time teachers push for non uniform, or relaxing rules guess who pushes back? Parents.
I have worked in 3 schools where the parents have pushed for more formal uniforms and stricter rules. When surveyed, the majority actually wanted blazers! Now we're constantly getting parents complaining that we're allowing girls to wear skirts which are too short. I don't care. They're sitting behind a desk. However, you wouldn't believe the emails we get on the subject.

Last year my ds's shoes broke a week before the end of term and I sent him in trainers and it was fine. This year, same school, dd has told me they've had assemblies to say that even if their shoes break before the summer they must be replaced with proper school shoes. It is utterly ridiculous, if I buy new now they will likely have grown out of them by September.

To be honest most secondary schools are like this. Uniform policies are very strict. My son's school is changing their PE kit for September 2026, which means I'll have to buy an entire new kit for my son to wear in his last year!! I don't think my son's school would tolerate a non-school shoe, even for the last two weeks either. I agree with you, to go against the policy, try and reason with them. If you tell them you can't afford to buy new shoes now, and then again ready for September, what are they doing to do? I guess their only option would be to punish your daughter, but the situation is hardly her fault!

Can you explain what these differences are? I am personally baffled as to how different school shoes can be (DD has attended 2 different secondary schools and worn the same shoes at both. I can’t even remember what the rules about shoes are, to be honest).

I am sure it's possible to but a cheap version of what is currently allowed. What is the current school's shoe?