To think people are more selfish now?

I've been thinking about this a lately as I also wonder why I bother trying to be a decent person but I don't think it was COVID, I think it was Facebook.

People realised they could be as rude as they like and say pretty much anything, and not only were they not shut down they found people agreeing with them and joining in. Things they'd never say irl they could say.

I think they were then emboldened and started behaving like that in real life. Now nobody is worried about being called a dickhead or called out on bad behaviour because they'll just tell you to fuck off.

It's turning the world into a very unpleasant place.

I don’t think it’s a covid thing, I’ve noticed it happening since way before then. I noticed it setting in around 15 years ago. Before that, people did seem more compassionate and community minded. Having said that, I’m mid 30s, so perhaps I wore rose tinted glasses when younger and actually as I’ve got older I’ve realised more how unpleasant a lot of people actually are and that their politeness is a front a lot of the time only if something is in it for them!

I think people are more or less the same, we just tend to notice wild behaviour more.

I often think this and worry for my DC. Especially with driving. I am sure that not even that long ago people were much less aggressive on the roads - giving way, letting you out, at roundabouts and lights. Now everyone pushes in, hogs their spaces, squeezes through, and is very quick to show rage or frustration at the wheel.

Cycling with my children feels so fraught in a way that it never did when I was a child. As a teen it was my main mode of transport and I went everywhere by bike, never being edged out, sworn at, cut up and beeped at. Now it's every time we venture out.

Parking is absolutely the biggest F YOU people seem to enjoy giving themselves days. Pavements blocked, dipped kerbs obstructed, car park lines ignored. Cars abandoned where it suits other to leave them, with no consideration of the impact on other road users or needs for access. Our school run is so so unpleasant because of the lack of consideration of parents who seek only to get their child to school safely and give not one tiny shite about all the other kids.

Things like GP surgeries and A&E always show people at their worst - being shouty or demanding to low paid members of staff who try to explain politely the reasons for what's going on. The way parents are school vent on WhatsApp or even to staff at pick up is so intolerant of any slight slip up or omission.

My DC have taken part in lots of sports/clubs that require everyone to take their turn on a rota to help. Everyone used to sign up ahead of time and then play their part as agreed. Now the rota gaps are relentless and those who do begrudgingly turn up when cancelling is threatened don't really pull their weight and wander off on their phone or vape instead.

Is it because everywhere is busier? The cost of living? The need for everyone to work more hours all the time? Or is everyone just really really unpleasant?

I agree. I've just come out to pick up my daughter & have given way to four people on a road with lots of parked cars. None of the four drivers could even be bothered to raise their hand to say "thank you". There is so much entitled behaviour.
Don't even get me started on the neighbour who has garden speakers & thinks we all want to listen to her music.
Or the people in front of us at a school show in church this week who left all their rubbish under their chair (despite staff reminding everyone to take it with them)
Or people who eat crisps in the theatre or cinema.

I dont agree, i think it depends on what you notice, confurmation bias etc. Emerging technology has perhaps added to more noise in public places, but easy to ask to turn down. In general people are fine and polite

I don't know; I think some people have always been selfish and some more community-spirited. I think the extremes are possibly more extreme now, in both directions. The internet may make some more aware of people beyond their doorstep, while for others it just encourages them to walk about glued to their phone, ignoring and sometimes barging into people.

Working for an antisocial behaviour team i can assure you, you are absolutely correct..

People are getting more unreasonable with each other, but also ruder and more unreasonable to staff than ever before.

Yes I totally agree, there is very little sense of duty or personal responsibility these days sadly.

Legacy of Thatcherism and more recently the behaviour of Boris Johnson.

110%

Also the so called connected and transparent era we are living through has had the exact opposite effect. We would rather talk on Mumsnet than to our neighbours. Buy from Amazon rather than the shop down the road. Misinformation is what we experience every single day rather than elucidation. I despair for our kids 😞

I agree. I think so many people have become self-centred over the last decade or so. This is reflected in people on buses who think it's fine to play music out loud or watch films/videos with the volume on full. Also parents who let their kids run riot, screaming in restaurants etc. Able bodied people on public transport taking the priority seats and refusing to offer obviously disabled people their seat. And parents with buggies refusing to move or fold their buggy to make space for wheelchair users. I could go on and on but I'd be here all day! One example of supreme entitled behaviour I witnessed a couple of weeks ago was a guy trying to get the bus I was on,with one of those boom boxes blasting out a racket at full volume. He was fully intending to get on the bus with it going. Thankfully the driver was having none of it and closed the doors on him. Bloody unbelievable.

This is what happens when then social contract breaks down.

In some ways absolutely (e.g. dropping rubbish).

In other ways I think life has changed drastically and some people’s expectations haven’t kept up. Like what exactly is parking ‘in considerately’. Ask one person and they’ll say someone else parking outside their house. 40 years ago when there were far less cars and far more space it may well have been rude, but now there’s far more cars and no more road people just park where they can and I think people need to adjust expectations about ‘their’ space on the road.

Similarly with noise. Life is much more 24 hours than it used to be. To a parent with young early waking kids 9am might aswell be the middle of the day, to others it’s early and they’d like to sleep till 10 on a Sunday. Similarly (going by your example) 8:30 on a sunny Wednesday eve is early to a young professional who might not get home from work till 7/7:30 pm, their whole evening is ahead of them and they need to get household jobs done. Yet you’ve deemed that far too late for DIY.

I think the majority of people who bemoan others being selfish are actually far worse themselves. They can’t possibly see past their own situation and worldview to understand why someone might act differently and life a whole different life to themselves. They expect others to consider them but don’t consider what others have going on.

This obviously doesn’t apply to blatantly rude things like littering, leaving dog poo, openly mocking others etc

but I think some peoples ideas of rude vs polite vs just neutral are quite outdated.

And neutral is a whole other thing. People are quick to label behaviour as rude or polite but there is a middle ground. E.g. it’s polite if you reach a door first to push/pull it open and then hold it for the person behind you, before then passing through it yourself. But as long as you don’t just let it slam on them it’s not rude. It’s perfectly neutral to reach the door first, go through it and do that reach back with the arm thing to hold it open whilst the other person has the time to reach their arms out to then take the door off you.

I disagree, my neighbours in the 70s used to burn there garden waste all the time I remember the clawing smell. No one picked up dog shit. There was loads of litter. People used to wolf whistle and be openly racist.

people can be horrible but i believe it’s often because people haven’t been taught Basic social etiquette over the years. and of course, sometimes they are just horrible 🤢

on the times I refuse to walk in the road so a group of or pair of people can keep walking straight at me, I get aggressive glares. When I challenge people parking on pavements I’m met with aggression.

I work in retail and experience huge entitlement. People wanting personal stylist help from ordinary assistants. We’d love to have time for that, we just don’t and I’m sorry. Then get angry when we suggest booking a free personal stylist appointment.

I have seen a marked shift in rudeness in the past few years. People drive more aggressively, too. There seems to be a sweeping lack of consideration for others and just a general sense of entitlement too. I witness bad behavior from people every single time I go out in public and this isn't something I noticed six or seven years ago. I feel like people no longer feel that they need to be polite and are all too happy to start an argument with a stranger. I blame Covid. It really seemed to all start after that.

I've had times in my life where I've not really felt connected to people around me. I like to think I hold myself to good standards but that's got to affect how you behave.

I was just speaking to my ds about this earlier. People have definitely become more self absorbed and less respectful of others and their surroundings. Everyone just seems out for themselves.

I agree.
Since the onset of social media and covid it has spiralled.

I agree, community spirit has evaporated in a lot of places, all people care about is themselves.

People are generally more rude and aggressive too. I have a visible illness but most people used to be courteous or indifferent about it, but since the pandemic I’ve had people laugh in my face, tap each other and then mention my visible illness and laugh. I don’t like blaming the pandemic for things, but people do seem to have had personality transplants since then.

Plus ça change.

Same it has always been, people only notice it now because many are worse off than they were before and few learned anything from Covid.

I agree, I always try to be self aware whilst out and about, giving way, considerate parking, moving on footpaths to let others pass, not making too much noise in the garden, bringing neighbours bin in etc.

Some days I wonder why I bother? The level of either self entitlement or the number of people oblivious is tiresome some days.