To think people are more selfish now?

They have time to drop off, to stand outside chatting with other mums for 10 mins after drop off and then return 30 mins later with a Costa cup in hand.

Also, it's made clear when signing up that there will be requests for volunteers and all parents are expected to help once a term minimum. Surely 1 hour x 3 per year is not an unreasonable request when volunteers are there evety week, plus use own time to plan activities. But if someone really doesn't have capacity, then they should make that clear at time of sign up, as if there are too many people in this position then sessions cannot run, and their child may need to wait a bit longer to join the group.

I agree absolutely. Even how people behave to family and friends. No obligation/ responsibility just is it right for Meeee

I agree.
I remember being sat in the bus station waiting for a bus - heavily pregnant in the heat with 2 hidden disabilities that cause me pain, a group of pensioners arrived (all upright, none with sticks or anything aged around 70) and the man in the group snapped at me to “move”, and proceeded to tell me I was disgusting for taking a seat when there were pensioners waiting. I foolishly moved and he continued to berate me. I would never move again unless it was very obvious the person needed it more than me.

I see your point generally @JohnTheRevelator but you don't know a stranger doesn't need that seat just as much as the person asking for it . I don't look disabled but I am and sometimes I have had to say no to other people with disabilities asking me to move. If both are disabled the one who is already seated gets to stay in that seat. One disability doesn't trump another . Yes I've said no to people with down syndrome, elderly people with sticks, people with cerebral palsy . Because there is no such thing as disability top trumps. Just like if someone says no to me when I ask for a seat seat I just have to wait for the next bus . It's a hassle but it's the way life is sometimes .

I started a thread in Chat similar to this. I'm visually impaired and sometimes use a mobility cane to get around. For reasons only known to everyone else, it makes me invisible. I get walked into more even when there's plenty of room for both of us.

I know we don't need to socially distance anymore but I don't understand why people need to walk so close to me either?

And don't get me started on loud music. I have a neighbour who plays loud music at all hours. I've even been woken up at 4am by him. I suspect he's got speakers next to my wall which he's been told to move

I agree although I have become more selfish myself. I’ve always been a conscientious people pleaser, always a rule follower and very polite. But growing up in school I was completely ignored, never told off but also never praised or rewarded. Seeing all the naughty children being rewarded constantly for ‘normal’ behaviour was infuriating. So now I am more bolshy and will ask outright questions because if you don’t ask, you don’t get.

😂

The sports rota thing can't be because there are less SAHM now. Because all their children are there at the activity - someone brought them and collects them. And often those parents are there, sat watching, chatting with others or on their phones.

They want their child to be part of the activity and benefit from the time and energy of others that is freely given, but they fail to understand that they need to also offer that to others. Like all the idiots who rock up to parkrun wearing a t-shirt advertising how many times they've run, but never ever ever offer to help marshall or volunteer themselves. They must square that in their heads by assuming all the people marshalling don't like running or something....

seymour5 exactly this 🥹

I don’t blame any specific politician. As someone who was a teen in the 1960s, I’d say the change started then. Societal restrictions and stigmas were reducing, thank goodness. But it’s gone too far IMO.

So much is down to individual families and their own standards. The lack of any discipline (and I don’t mean physical punishment) comes at a huge cost to those of us who still encourage respect and consideration into our DC and DGC. Just ask parents and teachers.

"But this has developed into a culture in which individuals have either forgotten that they still belong to a community"

They haven't forgotten, it's simply that there no longer is community.

But you are correct, greater individual freedom does mean breakdown of consensus, codes of conduct, social norms, mutually reciprocal considerations for others...

This

I was walking to work yesterday and it's a wide-ish road (not massive but enough for two people to pass each other safely)

5 separate people walked past me while pushing me onto a busy road

This happens at least once every time I walk that path (Oddly,it's normally older gents that make a point of letting me pass safely)

I would walk on the other side but it's got workmen there at the moment and the only way you can walk down is to walk on the very busy road,into the line of traffic

At work it's got worse

They seem to walk in order and expect their food in their hand within 5 seconds

I've been screamed at,had my hair pulled,punched,sworn/spat at and one bloke followed me halfway home while screaming at me

All because they don't get their bloody meal within the 5/10 seconds at peak time

The problem is people are willing to enjoy the peace and quiet provided by other considerate people/neighbours but are not willing to contribute to the peaceful environment themselves.

For someone to enjoy their music in their garden, their next door neighbour can’t be playing loud music in their garden. For someone to park inconsiderately wherever they want, they need other neighbours to not park wherever they want. For someone to drive super fast down a residential street, it needs to not be littered with parked cars and other speeding drivers.

People want the freedom to do whatever they want but also want to benefit from other people sacrificing what they might want to do to be considerate to others.

Driving has definitely become more aggressive and less courteous.

I do think though that there are many people community minded, litter picking, decent folk who consider their neighbours although you're more likely to meet them in the suburbs, country and small towns than in city centres. The city centre in which I was born is now a hell hole of antisocial behaviour and filthy street.

Disrespect Culture :the clap back

Aggressive Banter

Culture Wars

Anxiety

Everyone being encouraged to advocate for something, ally ship, generally be challenging.

Me first brigade.

But there was always dick heads, the 80s was all about "greed is good" and snide, catty women with good manipulation skills. There was often bad messaging.

Some weekends- yes! We don't always do our DIY in the evening (and we don't do that much at all really 🤣). DH and I both have elderly parents who need support. So last weekend I was sorting stuff with my parents and DH was away with friends. This weekend we're going to stay with DH's parents to help them.

But my point was - if we got the angle grinder out at 10.30 am on a Saturday we'd still be annoying someone - someone relaxing in their garden with a coffee or sleeping after a night shift or putting their baby down for a nap...

Personally I don't agree. I was born in the 70s and maybe it was just the area I lived in, but I'm sure that littering was worse then than it is now.

And the sports club rotated thing. Surely that's just because there are fewer SAHMs than there used to be? So people (understandably) have less time to volunteer, rather than being intrinsically more selfish.

I actually had to laugh at a woman in Sainsbury's who walked round the end of a set of shelves to where I was putting something in the trolley. She looked at me and said/did nothing , like the cat would do if she wanted past. I moved, but I shouldn't have done. I should have said: "Will I move? Does Polly want past? Does she?"
.

Yes, agreed. I’m glad there’s less sexism and racism (although it hasn’t disappeared).

100%. People have no consideration for others. Driving standards has massively reduced. Even things like standing in the middle of the supermarket aisle having a chat gives me the rage!!! It’s like people are in their own little bubble.

I think there's always been selfish people, but we're living on top of people more than before (large population increase on a small island) so you're statistically more likely to run into assholes. There was definitely a 'calm' couple of years 2021-2022 where fewer people were out and about and commuting to work or going to a restaurant felt a lot more chilled.

My NDN basically thinks her way of life is superior to others and she can tell everyone on our street what to do, how often to cut their lawns, hedges etc. She thinks it's still the 1950s and people should spend every moment they're not at work doing chores around the house and garden. Every time she speaks to me it's to moan about something I've done or another neighbour has done wrong or to try to bully me into picking up a leaf which might have fallen into her garden from mine. I remember there being 'odd' neighbours like her in the village where I grew up in the 80s, so I don't think it's a new thing.

Do you really not have time at the weekend?

I agree OP. I was at the theatre on Wednesday and tickets weren't cheap. Someone next to me was on his for a lot of it! And at the end, the amount of people just stood in the way and not looking where they were going. I think I may have hit someone with my mobility cane because he squeezed right in front of me where there was virtually no room

There's nothing wrong with being a little selfish sometimes, it's probably better for mental health. Rudeness is a different matter though.

What time would you prefer your neighbour to do DIY? They will almost always be disturbing someone, no matter when they do it. By the time DH and I finish work, exercise, have something to eat, take our DC to/from activities, we don't have massive windows of time to get things done! I don't think we're selfish, but we might do DIY at 8.30pm.

I agree with you overall. For me it's seeing bags of dog poo everywhere. The pinnacle of 'I can't be arsed to deal with a situation I have actively chosen, so I'll spoil this lovely area for everyone else. I love my dog though'. Ugh.