Competitive tiredness killing our marriage

56 replies

Zigzig · 02/07/2025 17:42

DH and I have a 14 month old DS, he is super full on. I’m 6 months pregnant with DS2. We both work full time.

I find myself seething with resentment at DH all the time because I think he gets more sleep than me. We’ve been away for a few nights and I have got up the past 3 mornings at 5.30am with DS. This morning DH stayed in bed until 9am! He says he’s ill so needs sleep but I’m so exhausted. I’m entertaining DS now because he’s asleep on the sofa.

How do you approach and deal with this? It’s really killing our marriage atm as every time I see him asleep I hate him.

OP posts:

Original poster

Zigzig · 02/07/2025 17:49

He does get ill quite a lot, and I’m not sure if he really feels as bad as he says or if he could just push through it. He's got a bad cold atm. He is difficult to reason with, which is why I need to know how to be assertive about it.

OP posts:

Nanny0gg · 02/07/2025 17:47

What's he got if he's ill?

Devilsmommy · 02/07/2025 17:47

I'd be telling him that seeing as he's had a 9am lie in and an afternoon nap, he can get up at 5:30 with your DS as you're starting to feel ill from lack of sleep yourself. If he says no then he's obviously a twat and I'd be rethinking my relationship.

FusionChefGeoff · 02/07/2025 17:47

Can you agree a bit of a routine / pattern that gives both of you fixed downtime / sleep?

eg DH always took ours out on Sunday mornings to a soft play / rugby tots / swimming type activity so I got a lie in and the house to myself until about 11 it was BLISS

NachoCheesed · 02/07/2025 17:45

When he wakes, you give him DS and bugger off somewhere.

InWithPeaceOutWithStress · 02/07/2025 17:45

You need sleep too, even if he is ill. Not sleeping will be making you ill. Be more assertive and set better boundaries/expectations?

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