Adult children still at home

109 replies

Butterfly1728 · 02/07/2025 15:54

Is it unreasonable to expect adult stepchildren to be “standing on their own 2 feet” when they earn good money and are almost 30?
Living at home, no sign of wanting to move, don’t do any chores, etc.

Feel resentful at times.

OP posts:

Mh67 · 02/07/2025 21:54

My daughter 33 lives at home. She pays rent and does help out. Dishes / washing clothes etc. I still do most of it as I'm home more

CheekyRaven · 02/07/2025 21:53

Tell them they need to help with the chores or contribute 100% between them for the hire of a cleaner. Stop cooking for them too.

ThisZanyPinkSquid · 02/07/2025 21:46

So they are freeloading basically!! I would be upping their ‘rent’, not doing any of their chores (no washing, cooking etc) and let them work it out for themselves!

At 30 most people are married with kids (I was anyway) so they need to grow up and be a little more self sufficient!

ThePhantomoftheEcobubbleOpera · 02/07/2025 16:10

It must be bad enough having your own children under your feet when they're 30 yo. Bloody hell, rather you than me.

Original poster

Butterfly1728 · 02/07/2025 16:10

They are paying housekeeping although it’s miles below what private renting/mortgage would be.

They are not saving as DH is giving them all a large sum of money when we sell the house in circa 2 years time.

OP posts:

5foot5 · 02/07/2025 16:05

Are they not saving up for a place of their own? Are they paying a contribution to household expenses? If neither of the above YANBU and it makes no difference IMO that they are your DSC.

Adult DD lived at home from leaving University until she was 27. But:

a. She was paying an amount in rent. She insisted she wanted to once she got a job. Yes, it was less than a commercial rent would be but we are her parents not her landlords so we didn't want to make money out of her and she wanted to pay her way.

b. All that time she was saving very hard for a deposit, which enabled her to eventually move out and buy her own place.

c. She pulled her weight with chores, did her own laundry and took her turn cooking the family dinner two evenings a week.

hairyunicorn · 02/07/2025 15:59

At 26, my mum paid the deposit on a rental flat and then kicked me out. I couldn’t see it at the time, but looking back, sometimes you really do need to cut the apron strings — for their benefit, not just yours!

TreesOfGreen99 · 02/07/2025 15:56

Why aren’t they doing chores? Or paying for a cleaner?

KateMiskin · 02/07/2025 15:55

Why don't you make them do chores at the bare minimum?

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