Adult children still at home

I have one adult child (28) of four, still at home. He probably always will be as he has autism and learning difficulties... however he has a job in a supermarket, pays rent, and does simple household jobs like putting laundry on, doing the dishwasher and helps with anything I ask .
Two of my other kids lived at home and their partners lived with us too ..one saving for a house, the others waiting for a couples visa to go to my DIL's country. They all paid a token rent, cleaned, cooked and generally pitched in. They've moved out now, but they never took the mick.

Yours need to be told to ship up or ship out!

I have a 22 and a 20 year old both moved out.
Im sure they will leave but its really hard getting a home.

This sort of extended adolescence does no one any favours. It seems all too common these days, alas.

I bet you’re paying 50% toward the outgoings each month though, I would start paying 25% as there are 4 adults living in the house and get him cleaning up after them.

My oldest is 20 and he still lives at home. I don't mind though, he pays his way, helps out with the household chores, and is generally pleasant to be around. He works full time but we take minimal 'board' so he can be saving hard for his own place. We would rather he bought somewhere of his own instead of renting so we're happy to have him here until then. If he was unpleasant or took the mick it would be a different story.

My 22 year old lives at home and isnt currently working. She does have a good reason for not currently working - massive seizure in winter resulted in major breaks and burns. She is currently waiting for medical clearance from the burns unit. Due to complications she cant get a job but she does all housework tasks for me, so freeing me up after work.

I dont charge her board as she doesnt get much money via pip or UC but she knows if she starts to earn money, she pays board!

At 30, with a job, he is taking the piss!

Yeah I think something has gone wrong if you’re nearly 30 and you’re still living like that with that attitude

Put their rent up. If they want the easy housekeeping life then they need to pay for it. You can always save it if you don't need it for them.

My youngest is still at home at 28 but pays a decent rent, does chores around the house and is a general delight to have around. He is saving hard for his own place though.
They should be pulling their weight at home. Don’t do their washing or anything for them anymore. They are grown adults

I wouldn’t cook for them at all.

I wouldn’t be doing any washing or ironing for them and they clean their own rooms and are given some other stuff to clean perhaps hoover the house throughout, dust, clean the bathroom etc

i I would also expect them to cook one in four hours evenings so you do day 1 and 2 if your husband won’t cook they go day 3 and 4 and so on.

I would be having a conversation with dh about how unreasonable it is to expect you to do things for them and it’s stopping now

What does their dad think?

Who is doing the cleaning?

Who is doing all their chores?

The not saving would annoy me as much as the no chores.

My adult DDs, age 26 and 28, still live at home.

It’s tricky . My partner moved out due to clashes with my adult children who live at home .
its is more difficult than many people realise .

His kids, but not yours? Is life too easy for them? Are you doing the washing, cooking, housework? I mean, I’d immediately stop all ‘services’, they cook for themselves, shop, wash etc. Don’t make it easy for them.

Yea, what percentage are you getting out of the house sale? What did you contribute towards the buying of it?

Or did you just move into his house? What price on your domestic labour?

I'd be scrambling to get a deposit of your own together.

Those adult children sound very entitled

Paying a contribution to bills does not equate or include getting another adult to your chores for you.
They are taking the piss and so is their father.

Why did you choose to move in with your partner, knowing that his adult kids still lived with him?

If I ever remarried, I certainly wouldn’t want to live with adult stepchildren, but I would accomplish that by not moving into a home where they still lived. If your partner is happy for them to be there, I don’t think it’s your place at all to be trying to kick them out.

You know you're not unreasonable.
But u til your willing to actually do something about it it's not going to change.
You're currently 3 against 1 so what incentive is there for them to change?

So look at your life. Is this worth putting up with? If not you need to drop the nuke.
Otherwise you'll have to suck it up

My dd lives at home she pays board and is saving for a deposit. She does her own cooking/laundy and babysit/dg walks for us

My friend is in his 30s and won’t even consider moving out of his parents. He doesn’t pay any bills, don’t cook or buy food, he doesn’t do his own washing or even change his own bed.

It’s a massive ick but more common than people realise.

If your DH is giving them a large chunk of money who's house is it?