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AIBU?

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Original poster

Dance class or documentary- AIBU to be furious?

29 replies

Inkyblue123 · 02/07/2025 13:17

last weekend my DD was at her usual dance class in a local church hall. Is a paid for session, not open to the general public and parents usually drop kids off and wait outside or run errands, we do not sit in.
A new mum came along with her child for a trial. Fine. But when I came back 5 mins before the class ended I found her in the hall filming the entire class, not just her child but everyone. No idea how long she had been recording.
I politely said she shouldn’t be filming other people’s kids. She got really aggressive saying “I’m sending it to Granny”. As if I care. She didn’t care how intrusive it was. Or weather anyone else was comfortable.
i found her attitude really entitled and dismissive. While it’s nice share videos , not every moment needs to be recordered or shared. Kids deserve space to play and learn without permanent digital traces. It’s about consent, respect and privacy. AIBU to think she’s massively over stepped or is this the way of the world and I need to get over it?

OP posts:
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SemiRetiredLoveGoddeess · 05/07/2025 17:22

I my experience lthink some people who appear to be entitled and dismissive are often also, ill informed, gnorant and/orjust plain thick.

She was wrong to film the dance class and l would report her and the class teacher.

pipkinsatlunchtime · 04/07/2025 08:28

musicinme · 02/07/2025 16:56

As a foster carer this could have been a potentially dangerous situation for some of the children I care for, A major safeguarding concern and Children's Services would have become involved. I would have been totally furious,

This! Completely agree, it is a safeguarding issue. When my DC were at primary school there were a few children who were adopted or fostered. It wasn’t common knowledge, but we weren’t allowed to photograph or video the class as a group and certainly not during performances or sssemblies. . The staff were rigorous about it as it was a child protection issue.

Comefromaway · 03/07/2025 23:23

Well precisely.

when I ran classes I had two students who were in foster care. I knew what could and could not be put on social media. I certainly did not share this info with other parents.

SistaPB · 03/07/2025 23:15

My kids are adopted. I do not consent to them being on social media as it could literally affect their safety. I’d be bloody livid if some idiot was filming and the teacher should not have been allowing this either for safeguards reasons.

GiveDogBone · 03/07/2025 18:13

ThinWomansBrain · 02/07/2025 13:21

What did the person that teaches or organises the class say?
They are running a business, they should be aware of the need for safeguarding and GDPR

You prove one of the golden rules of the internet. Everyone who mentions “GPDR” on the internet has absolutely no idea about GPDR. Every single one.

Original poster
Inkyblue123 · 03/07/2025 12:03

Thankyou all for your responses. I will definitely raise this with the teachet

OP posts:
Love51 · 02/07/2025 17:02

Awful breach of etiquette, but not the law. I'd check the policy and mention it to the teacher or business owner. Surely everyone knows you don't film the group stuff without consent, just your kid and their mates afterwards.

RCJJ · 02/07/2025 17:02

This is one for the teacher to address.
My kids go to a dance class and we also drop and go - I’d wonder why she’s even there, tbh! But we all have forms where we tick to consent to photos during classes for their social media posts.

During shows, the teachers tend to come out at the start to say you can take photos but they can’t go on social media and for personal use only (how far people do this I don’t know - but, that’s the only time I know they allow parents to film/take photos)

What is the class policy? Had the teacher discussed this with the mum? That’s who I’d be having the conversation with.

MyMilchick · 02/07/2025 16:59

FrenchandSaunders · 02/07/2025 15:02

I don't understand the 'documentary' bit.

Presumably the OP was being sarcastic, as in "is this a dance class or a documentary?" because of them being filmed

TheNameIsDickDarlington · 02/07/2025 16:58

Even if the video is just "for Granny" you don't know her bloody Granny.

At the very least it's really poor manners to film other people's children let alone the safeguarding problems.

musicinme · 02/07/2025 16:56

As a foster carer this could have been a potentially dangerous situation for some of the children I care for, A major safeguarding concern and Children's Services would have become involved. I would have been totally furious,

DeliciouslyBaked · 02/07/2025 16:37

Inkyblue123 · 02/07/2025 15:00

Also the teacher was busy teaching, the mum in question was sat down and trying to be discreet. Not that it stopped her panning her phone around - so she definitely was not just taking a quick video of her child.

But did you raise it with the teacher after she finished teaching? You said you came in 5mins before the end so presumably you mentioned it when collecting your child and before the next class started?

MrsAvocet · 02/07/2025 15:43

Agree that this is for the teacher to address. I'd expect the dance school to have a photography policy - every activity my DC ever did had one. Normally even if you give consent for photography/video it's for the school or club's use, not other parents.
It's different if you're taking part in a public event eg playing in football match on a pitch in the park, as people can take photos in public places without consent, but in a private space it's not on.

ranoutofquinoaandprosecco · 02/07/2025 15:33

You need to let the teacher know, massive safeguarding breach.

OhBumBags · 02/07/2025 15:07

What did the teacher say about it?

FrenchandSaunders · 02/07/2025 15:02

I don't understand the 'documentary' bit.

Original poster
Inkyblue123 · 02/07/2025 15:00

Also the teacher was busy teaching, the mum in question was sat down and trying to be discreet. Not that it stopped her panning her phone around - so she definitely was not just taking a quick video of her child.

OP posts:
Original poster
Inkyblue123 · 02/07/2025 14:56

My DD grandparents are also hundred of miles away. I still wouldn’t dream of videoing a dance class, I would do it at the end of class away from everybody else.

OP posts:
Makingitupaswegoalong · 02/07/2025 13:51

It’s clear when you sign up to my child’s dance class that you’re not allowed to film. The class should have a policy about it.

DiscoPig · 02/07/2025 13:47

Raise it with the teacher.

QuickPeachPoet · 02/07/2025 13:43

The dance teacher should have told her to leave the room. Parents should not be staying for activities and they certainly don't need their phones out. Distracting for the teacher and the class.

Zempy · 02/07/2025 13:36

I would be furious with the class leader for allowing this. What were they thinking?

Comefromaway · 02/07/2025 13:36

I would be very surprised if the teacher was aware and knowingly allowed it. It is a huge safeguarding red flag.

Do speak to the teacher and voice your concern.

CurbsideProphet · 02/07/2025 13:33

I would have spoken to the teacher at the end. Some parents put every aspect of their children's lives on social media. "it's for granny" sounds like bullshit.

OhBumBags · 02/07/2025 13:28

ThinWomansBrain · 02/07/2025 13:21

What did the person that teaches or organises the class say?
They are running a business, they should be aware of the need for safeguarding and GDPR

GDPR rules don't apply to the mum.