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Original poster

Glitter bombs from ex mother in law

68 replies

Heregoes234 · 02/07/2025 10:43

Hi there, was in two minds about posting this as seems utterly ridiculous but given the context of my situation I don’t know if I’m over thinking it.
Last week my ex partner was arrested by the police for harassing me and coercive control, he’s on bail and likelihood will be going to court soon, it was extreme but don’t want to go into that particularly as long story, but thought worth mentioning.

He left in 2023 for a women he had been cheating on me with for a few years. I then got in a relationship in late 2024 and that’s when he started to harass me which resulted in police being involved. He tried controlling my relationship and just didn’t like that I had moved on which was bizarre and gradually got worse to quite scary. His mum hasn’t been great and often makes things worse. I use Ai to write my emails to make sure there is no tone that could be misinterpreted out of being worried something will escalate.

Its our eldest birthday today and late last night around half ten 11 at night I heard the door. There are bail conditions that he can’t come to the house so assuming it was his mum. I heard a noise and saw two letters on the doormat for my daughter. I didn’t think much of it until she opened them this morning and glitter went everywhere including into my youngest eyes.

I am just a bit shocked as given the circumstances seems ill thought out but was it just for fun for our daughter? Or done to be petty?
It looks like she bought two cards as same make and got my ex to fill in one and her another but then she signed both the envelopes. I know I should get on with my day at this point and I think I would of brushed it off but with it getting in my daughters eye where I had to rinse it out for several minutes I’m just exasperated by it all.

Thanks for reading if you got this far.

OP posts:
Talltreesbythelake · 02/07/2025 12:24

I would cancel her contact tomorrow. Why reward that sort of behaviour? If she can't understand that this was a malicious act what else might slip by her?

Irritatediron · 02/07/2025 12:21

You've made it really clear you don't want him arrested so whats the point of the thread ? Let him continue harassing you. It will escalate, it may involve your children. Or report it because it shows a pattern of behaviour and he IS BREAKING HIS NON MOL ORDER.

Codlingmoths · 02/07/2025 12:20

Heregoes234 · 02/07/2025 12:10

I’m not comfortable posting photos so around half ten 11 at night heard a noise and saw the letters the writing I recognise as hers and was identical on the envelopes of both cards. When they were opened glitter in both but each card inside was different, one from my ex her Dad and the other card from herself. Both the cards are also the same brand so I’m assuming she bought both as he was never great at cards or getting gifts and with her having signed them both probably packed them herself but I don’t know for sure who actually delivered them. If I do report it it could be seen as a breach and I am worried about that but again this is how it starts up they get confident again start small then build up and last time it was a few months of silence and this is literally a week after he was arrested.

Exactly. I think you know it must be reported. You can’t just let them escalate again.

Codlingmoths · 02/07/2025 12:19

Heregoes234 · 02/07/2025 11:05

Yes that’s one of the bail conditions as he has gone through her before. This was the third time the police have been involved as I’ve wanted it to be something that could be resolved without things going further but the last incident was bad enough I didn’t have a say in the matter and they arrested him.

Show quote history

Absolutely report it. He’s trying to contact you, and she’s supporting him to do it. The police need to be informed.

LatteLady · 02/07/2025 12:17

I think you need to report this, it is part of a low level campaign, but it is up to the Police/CPS what further action is taken. However, I think a Non-Mol order for your former MiL would be an appropriate response to this. As you say, this can only escalate.

Francestein · 02/07/2025 12:14

I don’t suppose you have a video camera or ring doorbell do you? Glitter can cause serious eye injuries and even blindness in extremely unusual cases.

Original poster
Heregoes234 · 02/07/2025 12:12

I actually don’t know if he can or cannot post things to the house. The bail conditions are not to come here or have any communication that is direct or indirectly. I feel it’s a grey area the cards were for our daughter and I can’t prove who dropped them off.

OP posts:
Original poster
Heregoes234 · 02/07/2025 12:10

I’m not comfortable posting photos so around half ten 11 at night heard a noise and saw the letters the writing I recognise as hers and was identical on the envelopes of both cards. When they were opened glitter in both but each card inside was different, one from my ex her Dad and the other card from herself. Both the cards are also the same brand so I’m assuming she bought both as he was never great at cards or getting gifts and with her having signed them both probably packed them herself but I don’t know for sure who actually delivered them. If I do report it it could be seen as a breach and I am worried about that but again this is how it starts up they get confident again start small then build up and last time it was a few months of silence and this is literally a week after he was arrested.

OP posts:
ThatCyanCat · 02/07/2025 12:06

Well you can see where her son got it from. What a pair of nutjobs. Definitely report it; it does sound like indirect communication from him and while glitter bombs aren't illegal per se, in context it might count as malicious communication or harassment (IANAL).

drspouse · 02/07/2025 12:05

How do you know your ex packed one - presumably he is not allowed to send things to your house?

Trendyname · 02/07/2025 12:04

You should report this. If he gets arrested, it’s on him and his mother.

Conqueeftador · 02/07/2025 12:04

No one sends a glitter filled card as a nice thing. It’s a well known nasty thing to do. If you wanted to do it as a nice surprise you would use an appropriate themed confetti which is easy to clean up and not so fucking annoying/dangerous.

She’s also assisting your ex to fuck with you. Delivered late at night to make you worry if they are hanging around outside, filling them with glitter, facilitating him breaching his bail conditions. Report it. They won’t stop until they are made to. I’d also push to have her restricted too.

Fleetbug · 02/07/2025 12:02

Check you’ve done a good vacuum around electrical equipment, plugs etc- backs of computers, and so on. Glitter getting into this can cause a short circuit and is a potential fire risk.

Hermyknee · 02/07/2025 12:01

I used to open poll tax cheques and there was lots of glitter in one and flour in another. It was 100% deliberate to make a mess. It wasn’t suppose to get into their eyes though. Hopefully your children will tell them that independently. I would ignore them but I would write it down and take a photo.

Utterlyconfusednow · 02/07/2025 11:58

Heregoes234 · 02/07/2025 11:56

Yeah I by no means think they thought that would happen it was just children enjoying presents being opened a bit of a rush before the school run and my youngest was just there eager to see what she was opening. I understand that was a mistake but think that was what set me off as it seemed wrong to have hand delivered them late at night given what’s happening at the moment and the bail
conditions.

It just spikes my nervous system each time.

Show quote history

Do you think she hoped you would open them first with recognising her handwriting?

BodenCardiganNot · 02/07/2025 11:58

Is the contact with the children court ordered?

Original poster
Heregoes234 · 02/07/2025 11:56

Ohtobemycat · 02/07/2025 11:49

Any sane sending cards packed with glitter that goes everywhere does not like the person that has to clean it up.
This sounds like they knew it would be fun for the child. Did not think about going in her eyes. But also knew this would be an absolute nightmare for you to clean up.
I doubt they meant to harm the child, rather it was a petty attempt to irritate you

Yeah I by no means think they thought that would happen it was just children enjoying presents being opened a bit of a rush before the school run and my youngest was just there eager to see what she was opening. I understand that was a mistake but think that was what set me off as it seemed wrong to have hand delivered them late at night given what’s happening at the moment and the bail
conditions.

It just spikes my nervous system each time.

OP posts:
outerspacepotato · 02/07/2025 11:53

That's a malicious harassment technique designed to cause a hard to clean up mess.

Did your youngest need medical care to wash it out of her eyes?

If so, get the records. Start the order against the ex partner's mom too.

Noshadelamp · 02/07/2025 11:53

I am not on social media any more but even I know that sending glitter like this is vindictive and meant to be annoying at best.

They knew exactly what they were doing. Spiteful, bullying and passive aggressive.

I'd just ignore, don't show them they've annoyed or upset you.

WhatMe123 · 02/07/2025 11:52

Everyone knows glitter is a nightmare.....it's been done on purpose I'd say

Ohtobemycat · 02/07/2025 11:49

Any sane sending cards packed with glitter that goes everywhere does not like the person that has to clean it up.
This sounds like they knew it would be fun for the child. Did not think about going in her eyes. But also knew this would be an absolute nightmare for you to clean up.
I doubt they meant to harm the child, rather it was a petty attempt to irritate you

OrigamiOwls · 02/07/2025 11:44

Getting a video doorbell or a CCTV camera would be a great idea in the circumstances.
If anything else turns up with her handwriting on it don't open it. Return it to them when the children are with them (hopefully child handovers are done via a 3rd party?). If questioned you can say you don't want to risk anything else getting in your child's eye.

ExpertArchFormat · 02/07/2025 11:44

You clearly need to get the non-molestation order on the mum. Get a ring doorbell so you can detect malocious visits. Consider how to open non-commercial mail more cautiously eg opening in the garden or putting the envelope inside a clear plastic bag. Ask anyone who is a legitimate contact to let you know if they have sent you something and how to recognise it, so that you know which items to treat with caution. What a nasty piece of work.

Original poster
Heregoes234 · 02/07/2025 11:40

NoSuchBass · 02/07/2025 11:28

The coming over late at night is creepy and intimidating, and in my opinion designed to fuck with you when you're just getting in to a happy birthday-eve settled brain space.

The glitter bomb was 100% fuckery.

In my opinion. I'd report to 101 and ask they take no action, but you just need it reported.

It was a bit sketchy the bail conditions is not to come to the house or go through someone directly or indirectly. I don’t know for sure who posted them but she signed both the outside of the envelopes and I know it’s her writing compared to my ex who’s is very different. I don’t want to log with 101 as they said any break of these conditions he will be charged and arrested. The children are with them tomorrow for their time with the kids and I don’t want him to be arrested. I think she was being petty but there is a pattern of intimidation and what’s mad is she used to be a solicitor so you would think she would know better but clearly doesn’t.

OP posts:
CrackingOn50 · 02/07/2025 11:33

Your ex is using his mother to continue his harassment of you.

If it was sent by anyone else then it would be annoying or a joke but this is from a proxy of a man who has a court order stating he should not contact you (including using third parties)

Posters saying it's just a prank etc aren't seeing this as the crime it is.